Social Question

Unbroken's avatar

NSFW Is there a proper way to receive pleasure?

Asked by Unbroken (10267 points ) May 23rd, 2014

I recently had a conversation with an intimate partner. He said I didn’t orgasm gracefully. Is this something that is important? Can a person orgasm gracefully with out faking it?

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24 Answers

janbb's avatar

Oh jeez! I don’t see how one can “orgasm gracefully!”

dappled_leaves's avatar

Orgasm gracefully – that may be the most ridiculous phrase ever uttered.

Are people supposed to worry about how they are perceived at the very moment when they are most out of control, most vulnerable? That’s kind of a terrible thing to say.

Unbroken's avatar

Yes well he did say it was a joke, but I think I detected that he was being truthful.

Unbroken's avatar

Maybe it is something that people practice? Does anyone practice, beyond masturbation, where you actually pay attention or have a mirror or camera or something….

janbb's avatar

No – I think practicing how you look would be anti-thetical to the pleasure.

Unbroken's avatar

For some reason I keep picturing geishas or… The prostitute ladies from game of thrones practicing sounding sexy

anniereborn's avatar

I think he has problems. I have never heard of such a thing before.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

I agree with @anniereborn This guy is an idiot. Dump him at the 1st convenient liquor store and find someone who appreciates your… ummmm… ardor.

josie's avatar

Not that I have a preference, and not that it is a good or bad thing, and it is sort of private after all, but since you do not know her and in order to put things in perspective, my girlfriend, in fact, orgasms gracefully. I would have never been able to describe it, until I saw the question. It’s sort of like an Olympic figure skater…

LuckyGuy's avatar

I believe both pinkies must be extended and the feet pointing precisely 30 degrees up from the axis of the tibia and fibula.

Relax. Unless you ripped one of his ears off, pretty much any way you do it is correct.

Remind him that porno flicks aren’t real.

Unbroken's avatar

Well tbh I really like this guy in and out of bed. And we both have complicated lives atm we are taking things slow not labeling anything… But my point is I’m not sure how much time we will have together. I intend to make the most of it. I want to be unforgettable. I want to be perfect for him. I know he returns the sentiment.

He didn’t intend to critcize me. He was a little drunk and I don’t remember how it came up but it did. And he immediately back tracked… So he’s not a callous guy. At least not over much. He’s not perfect either.

So while I appreciate everyone’s support I want to learn this. So if any how if any one has suggestions or knows about how to achieve this I would be grateful.

ucme's avatar

What the fuck does that even mean?
‘For what we are about to receive, may the lord make us truly thankful’
Said right before munching on pussy

Unbroken's avatar

Lol @ucme it took me a minute to track.

GloPro's avatar

This is why I leave my long, thick, curly hair down. It covers my twitching drooling face nicely.

flutherother's avatar

That’s why sex is private.

SavoirFaire's avatar

I suppose there are some improper ways to receive pleasure (e.g., getting off on murder), but I wouldn’t say that there is just one proper way to receive it. Also, it seems to me that orgasming ungracefully is a wonderful thing. Considering how much time and effort people put into presenting a particular face to the world, bringing someone to the point of being able to completely let go of it all—even if only for a brief moment—should be seen as an achievement.

You might consider asking him what he meant by it, if you haven’t already. Maybe you just have an O-face he’s never seen before. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, even if he had to be a little tipsy to say it aloud.

Unbroken's avatar

@GloPro nice visual :)
@flutherother but its not exclusive.
@SavoirFaire that’s kinda of where my mind went first. As in letting go was beautiful even if it wasn’t. But now I’m kinda leaning toward an orgasm @Josie described. I can almost picture a well executed release.muscles fluid and coordinated. Like nailing a dismount. It still is a release and natural….
But maybe I should ask for clarification.

Btw has any one else noticed Josie is far less crotchety these days:)

Haleth's avatar

An orgasm is like a sneeze. There’s really no way to have any control over it.

And seriously, even if you did “orgasm gracefully,” what would he gain from that? A slight aesthetic benefit? “Oh, that looked/sounded nice.”

Having an orgasm is one of the few times in human life where you shouldn’t have to worry about what other people think of you, or anything. Bringing someone to orgasm is supposed to be something you do for that person, because you care about them.

The sentiment he expressed was basically, “that didn’t look nice.” Even if he didn’t mean it, it’s kind of a dick move, because he put his own (minor) aesthetic concerns ahead of your well-being. He made you feel self-conscious about the one time where nobody is supposed to feel self-conscious. It was a selfish thing to say.

It sounds like you really like him, and that’s fine, but he might have a hidden undercurrent of dickishness or selfishness. Sometimes the things people say unintentionally can be really telling about their real personality. That’s especially true early in a relationship, when otherwise they’re trying extra hard to impress you. I would keep an eye out.

mazingerz88's avatar

Maaaaaan….as if getting a woman to orgasm is not hard enough. I would appreciate any kind of orgasm. :)

SecondHandStoke's avatar

He is clearly a novice.

Educate him or get rid of him.

Unbroken's avatar

@Haleth you give excellent advice.

And well I won’t get into the details. It is actually unrelated to the question as our sex life was… Mind blowing. Regardless I did let him go today. So all y’all that put him on the cad boat, well I’m taking a bit of comfort in the sentiment.

josie's avatar

@Unbroken
Crotchety?
Should I be hurt by that?
My uncle was crotchety.

Unbroken's avatar

@josie And did you like you said uncle? Sadly, I can’t influence the way you feel. But nah, I like crotchety… It’s flavor. Though I won’t argue against happiness.

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