Social Question

longgone's avatar

Do you think of love as more or less "worthy" based on its recipient?

Asked by longgone (6685 points ) 1 month ago

Awkwardly worded, I know.

I mean to say: Does love mean more to you if it’s directed at a fellow human being? Some people have trouble admitting they love their pets. Loving a pet or an object more than your partner is frowned upon, while loving a child is often considered comparable to none of the other forms of love. What do you say?

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12 Answers

CWOTUS's avatar

It’s not my place to judge anyone else’s considerations, feelings or love toward any other person, place or thing. I might – and usually do! – have personal opinions about the way people express their considerations, or how they make their judgments, but that generally stays inside my head.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Must be where you live. Never noticed any of this. In places where the pet could also be food, like lambs, goats, chickens, etc., this is discouraged by parents, I think. Other than that, I’ve never known anyone who was afraid to express love for a pet, or even a car for that matter.

Blondesjon's avatar

That depends. Is the recipient beer?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

IMO I have seen many people who admit they love their pets, they may not mention they love them more to their spouse, but they will say so in general conversation. Many people believe pets are more loyal and will be there no matter what long after the human counterpart has split; and the way things are taken in relationships these days, I can say I am surprised. People often believe they love another but it ultimately comes down to what they are getting back from the relationship. With pets, you know going it what you are going to get and there is less disappointment.

Coloma's avatar

Love is love, Period. Whether it is for a human or an animal or a passion or a cause or an object. Personally I love animals waaay more than most humans. haha

I also think romantic love is incredibly over rated, especially after one reaches a certain level of maturity. I can’t stand women that feel incomplete because they do not have a romantic partner, there is so much to love in this world than just a member of the opposite sex.
Infact, at my age now I’d go so far as to say that not “needing” a romantic connection is extremely liberating. It’s great to not be a slave to reproductive hormones. Been there done that, had a kid, was married forever, now….if you want to see an example of “true” love, look at my avatar. lol

GloPro's avatar

I didn’t read responses yet.

I think it’s easier to love a pet than a person. It’s less complicated. I know my dog loves me back, and that is less complicated, too. It is more worthy for me because I know it’s the most pure love I have experienced so far.

I have no kids. I’m not that close with my family. I’ve been in love a couple of times, and there were dogs we both loved in the picture both times. The love we both felt for the dog was less complicated than the love we shared. In fact, the mutual love we had for a dog kept us together at one point when the dog was dying.

So I’m not sure what to think about the worth of the love I have felt or shared and to whom it has been doled out to. It’s the only love I’ve had to give, and I’ve done the best I could.

longgone's avatar

I unfollowed this by mistake.
Thanks for the replies!

That current question made me come back to this thread. I wonder where it will go. All of you (Except for @Blondesjon, who is drunk.), seem to agree with me; love is love.

I frequently hear love for a pet be described as “over the top”, “strange”, “not natural”. It’s surprising to me that none of you have experienced this. Of course, @Espiritus_Corvus might have a point. It may just be the area I’m in, or the people I know. Must find new friends.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Addendum to my reply above:

Except Finns. Finns, especially the men, are famous for not being able to utter “I love you.” Finnish women go their whole lives never hearing their men tell them this. i’m not kidding. It’s considered effeminate to do so.

Coloma's avatar

Additional addendum to my reply above. When I wrote my sentiments my avatar was of my goose and his ducky love, not that Butterflies are not lovable too. haha

@Espiritus_Corvus Guess they don’t have couples workshops in Finnland ey? lol

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

I don’t know, but if I had to bet, I would bet no. These guys are famous in the Nordic countries for being tough, silent, honest and deadly, especially when it comes to Russians. There’s this story the Swedes like to tell. They think it’s hilarious. A Swedish farmer makes a batch of aqvavit and decides to go over to his Finnish neighbor’s farm to share a nip. He’s invited in with a grunt and shown a chair at the kitchen table. The Swede opens the bottle and pours each a drink. After about ten minutes of silence, the Swede asks how things have been going. And the Finn looks at him like he’s just pissed in the fire and says, “Did you come here to talk or to drink?”

Then all the Swedes in the room double over in uncontrollable laughter. Go figure.

Coloma's avatar

^^^ Hahaha…. apparently nothings changed since the Iron age. lol

GloPro's avatar

My last relationship was with someone who might as well have been a Finn. He was as described above. I only knew he loved me by the way he took care of my physical needs. My car was well maintained. He shoveled my driveway for me. He paid for my meals and took me out often. He insisted on helping me find the perfect car when I was shopping, and did all of the price negotiating for me. He carried my things. That kind of thing.
But he could not and would not express love. On the very rare occassion we would have a brief talk on our relationship. He would tell me he loved me every few months.
I tried to compensate for what I was missing out on my being even more open with my feelings and affection. He soaked it up like a sponge, but didn’t soften up to me at all. It was his way.
Eventually I admitted that I needed that feedback in my relationships. Although I loved him, and believe he loved me the best he could, it wasn’t for me not to be a recipient. <little tear rolling>

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