Does your heart ache when someone in public houseing wants to go home and you know they can't look after themselves?

How does your mother feel about you going back to live with her? And yes, my heart aches for anyone who cannot be where they feel loved and safe.

@anniereborn My mom believes that the rent is too high, and the city has changed. She doesn’t have a problem with me moving back but she has a boyfriend who lives with her from time to time so I can’t visit her except to stay at a hotel.

What does your doctor think is so great for you in Red Deer? Does he give you ideas as to ways you can get involved in the community and make friends?

@anniereborn There is nothing for me in Red Deer other than some high school classes and a college but I don’t have the money to take advantage of them. In Jasper I managed to save $3000 in two years but in Red Deer I am having to ask my mom for money. I jasper I can Sign up for internet university courses from Athabasca University.

Well, perhaps you should move back to Jasper then

@anniereborn Thank you.

If you feel like having your mom physically closer may provide more emotional support to get out and make friends, take classes, or look for a job, then I’m all for you looking for a place in Jasper.
However, hopefully your mom would not become a crutch for you. She has a boyfriend and it may hurt your feelings to be so close and not get any more attention. I speak from personal experience on that one.

My heart aches for people sent home from assisted living facilities. And it also aches for the old lady who shares a room with my aunt.

She only speaks one phrase in English I want to go home! I want to go home!

Sandwiches and poutine can’t compare to being close to family. But there’s also that old saying about how you can’t go home again.

I think if you’re going to go home with a lot of expectations, it might be better to stay.

It’s always best to be at home if at all possible. I wish you well.

Many years ago visiting and aging relative in a nursing home recuperating from a broken hip. We met an elderly lady in the hall stopping everyone who walked by and begging them to take her home. When she stopped me she offered me a chicken if I would take only her home. She said she raised chickens and would be happy to give me one, along with some eggs, if I would just give her a ride. I declined, but talked to her a while about her farm and her chickens before proceeding on. As we passed the nurses station the nurse apologized for the ladies actions and said that in truth, the woman had no home to go to. The family had sold her home and the farm when she went into the nursing home over a year ago but had not told her for fear of upsetting her.
It was bad enough to hear the longing in the ladies voice but to find out her home was no longer hers, that one broke my heart.

@rojo When people with dementia speak of “home” it is a “place” in their life where they felt most safe and comfortable. The place may no longer belong to them or their family, still exist, or even be a place at all. Sometimes it is simply a feeling. My mother with Alzheimer’s sometimes call me her mommy when I am hugging her and she feels loved and safe. She too asks to go home. The last place she lived was my childhood home. It no longer belongs to any of us. We had to sell it to pay for her care. It breaks my heart every time she asks to go home. And most especially when she asks me to come home and live with her.

My mil was always asking to go home, and hubby put her in the car and took her to a park where they sat and watched the ocean for awhile. She totally forgot about “home”.

@YARNLADY And then did he dump her back at the nursing home?

I don’t think “dump” is the correct word here. She was totally dependent on the nursing care, unable to walk, dress herself, use the bathroom, and prepare her own food. Her daughter visited her every day and hubby at least twice a month (from 500 miles away). While she was still lucid, she choose the facility, which offered independent living, plus hospice care. She had an apartment for three years, and moved into the hospital when she needed it.