General Question

fuglyduckling's avatar

Should I stop wearing this hat if people call me out on the street?

Asked by fuglyduckling (405 points ) June 27th, 2014

I have a cute bunny hat that I absolutely love to wear in winter. I’ve had comments from men on the street like “Stupid hat.” or “Weirdo.” They don’t laugh, they look so disturbed by my hat which is very rude.
Latest I got was a group of men in a car pass me by and shout that I look stupid. Sometimes I get intimidating looks from females.

My style is sort of like this if I am absolutely confident: http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/fp/Ezra+Miller+Arriving+Toronto+Airport+hwispw2tTk9l.jpg

I once wore pjs with sheep on them once to school and back without second thoughts. I am not dirty, but I am comfortable like this and I feel like myself wearing baggy clothes like the picture. I feel complete.

I’m not keen on stopping but I wanted to know your opinions. Would YOU stop? Why should I or should I not stop?

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40 Answers

JLeslie's avatar

I would stop wearing it. Although, I feel compelled to say that men are such fu$&ing assholes sometimes. They also can be scary, and I just would not want to consistently be attracting the attention of asshole men. If it was just an unusual stare from women I would wear what I want.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I am not sure what a bunny hat is. If it looks like the one Louise Belcher from Bob’s Burgers wears, I’d say skip it.

In the winter I have seen toddlers coming out of pre-school wearing hats that have ears, and faces like a teddy bear., shark, maybe a bunny, and other animal. They look fine on a 3 year old.
Is that the look you want? Probably not. I’d give it to a 3 year old neice or nephew.

ragingloli's avatar

Stop wearing it?
You should upgrade to a full body bunny fursuit.

Response moderated (Personal Attack)
fuglyduckling's avatar

@livelaughlove21 I would wear the same hat a couple of years ago and people would take pictures of me, compliment me, etc. Now however they all stopped. It may be because I changed states and now I am in a more ‘artsy’ location.

I wouldn’t say I am strange. I just don’t care too much of what people think of me. I don’t rely on constant validation to feel content with myself. I feel confident in that hat. I don’t get cold, I feel like myself, I feel comfortable… It’s like a white t-shirt to me, very casual.

@JLeslie You might be right. Just to stop the assholes from making such rude comments it may be a good idea to stop wearing it as often.

Another question, if you are called names on the street, do you respond? I’m usually shy to respond I also think it won’t change much but I’m not sure. Maybe I should.

fuglyduckling's avatar

Again, the hat isn’t a ridiculous child-like bunny hat. Its brown, its furry, like a big hood. I was watching a web series about fashion and this one designer said she always wears unicorn head-bands with pears. Is she a troll? I think she is sincere. I get her. You don’t have to, but don’t accuse someone of faking their own style which they love. That’s very hurtful.

fuglyduckling's avatar

Also, I simple am asking you if I should stop or if you would stop when you get comments on the street like this. I’m not asking you what your hateful opinions are on my hat and my style. I’m not asking you to ridicule me. I’m simply asking what you would do in my shoes.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@fuglyduckling Oh my! I’d skip it. Unless it was below zero with high winds and the ears are shielding stereo surveillance microphones.

Nobody needs to take comments from others seriously. But.over the years I have learned a useful life lesson.
If one person says something you can ignore it. If two people say something maybe you can ignore that, too. But when three or more people say something it is time to look in the mirror objectively.

longgone's avatar

Only you can decide whether the hat is important enough to ignore hurtful comments.

I wouldn’t like the attention, even admiring comments would annoy me. Therefore, I woudn’t be wearing this hat. You are probably very different. If it makes you feel good, keep the hat.

That attention-seeking hat and the statement “models=prostitutes” do not go well together…

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t respond usually.

Do you love the hat? Why is it so important to wear it? On many Q’s I openly state I tend to lean towards conforming so I am fairly biased that way. I don’t mean everyone on the street should be dressed like soldiers with strict rules to adhere to, I just mean conforming is usually the easier path. When people see you they will be distracted by your hat, the hat becomes your first impression, not you and your personality. A little of your own style is one thing, but getting negative attention usually isn’t worth it in my opinion. If a few people outright said something to you, that probably means many more are thinking negative things. Like @LuckyGuy said, this is not one freak making rude comments, it’s several people.

CWOTUS's avatar

Don’t most people develop a style of dress to attract a certain “wanted” attention? That is, aside from when we’re being playful and dress in outlandish costumes to attract a certain amount of (expected) shock and even ridicule, don’t most people ordinarily dress in styles that flatter them in some way? (I’m speaking of fashion apart from the utility function of clothing: protection from the elements; uniforms that identify membership in a particular organization, or even formal styles that identify one as a member of a certain class or caste in society.)

Do you enjoy provoking ridicule and shock on a daily basis? Because this seems not to be a “common” style where you live now, or is it? When I was young I used to have a pair of bell-bottom jeans that could have been retired years earlier because they were simply worn out. But I played with patches. I patched the seat of those pants with a bright red homemade patch; I had a bright orange and yellow “sun” patch on one thigh, and a “What, me worry?” homemade embroidered patch pocket on the other thigh. In between and all around I had green, blue, purple and other colored patches where various seams had ripped out or threatened to. All of them were irregularly shaped and hemmed and hand-sewn (by me) to suit my peculiar taste.

However, in the early 1970s, those hardly stood out. I was just “part of the crowd” with those jeans, except for the peculiarity of some of the work and the fact that I did it myself and had that “pride of ownership”, there was nothing special about those pants. I wore them with generally oversized t-shirts and sweaters, or chambray, and looked… like most other middle-class kids in my class.

I wouldn’t wear clothing like that now except to play-act about “looking like someone I’m not”.

There are all kinds of ways to dress to attract all kinds of attention. “Why dress deliberately to attract unwanted attention?” is the question that I’d ask back to you.

ucme's avatar

Wear what you’re comfortable with, critics can fur-koff.

ragingloli's avatar

haters gonna hate

hearkat's avatar

I believe that one should wear what they like to wear, as long as it is appropriate to the environment they’ll be in—such as a lawyer shouldn’t dress like that for a day in court or at the office; but if they want to dress like that on their own time, and they feel comfortable and confident in it, it’s fine.

Fashion and style are forms of self-expression. If I see someone wearing an outfit like you posted, or a hat with ears, I think they are probably fun, creative, easy-going people. When I see people dressed in all designer labels and perfectly coiffed, I think they are probably uptight, high-maintenance narcissists.

fuglyduckling's avatar

@longgone Your last comment… I’m not wearing the hat to seek attention. I sometimes wear it inside my apartment, making music, reading, painting…

GloPro's avatar

It’s a Spirithood knockoff, am I right?

There is a time and a place to wear certain styles. Maybe you just aren’t pulling it off well, and thus get ridicule. I personally don’t think baggy clothes and Spirithoods go well together because it’s sloppy and overall too much fabric.

It’s immature to wear pajamas to school. That is the image you are projecting, regardless of what you think about not caring and being comfortable. It doesn’t surprise me that you get picked on and aren’t taken seriously.

Wear what you want. I find it hard to believe random strangers, groups of them, even, take the time to ridicule a teenage kid because of your clothes unless you look totally rediculous (wearing pajamas). Most men couldn’t give a crap.

If that is the image and persona you wish to project go for it. Recognize that you can (and probably should) fine tune that same style to look better. There are a lot of clothes as comfortable as pajamas.

Unless you want to work at Hot Topic forever, I’d change it up.

I have a Spirithood. I rock it at concerts and at Burning Man.

longgone's avatar

I didn’t mean to say that you wear the hat to get attention. It is an attention-seeking hat, though, and it sounded as if you enjoyed the positive comments people used to make….those people on the street are judging you based on a choice you made. Just like you were judging models.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@fuglyduckling

Funny. You claim you “don’t care” what people think because you “don’t rely on constant validation”, yet this question and your post directly contradict that.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Darth_Algar Thank you! That’s exactly what I came back here to say.

@fuglyduckling “It may be because I changed states and now I am in a more ‘artsy’ location.”

You’d think a more “artsy” location would be more accepting of weird stuff. Artsy folks are usually pretty weird.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

Why do you care what others think?

Seaofclouds's avatar

If you don’t want to hear the comments, you’ll have to stop wearing the hat.

If you can ignore the comments, keep wearing it. I wouldn’t waste my time responding to the comments those people are saying. What would it change?

That being said, there is a time and place for everything. There are times it’s okay to dress like that and there are times you will need to dress more appropriately. As long as you are meeting that basic requirement, dress how you want and ignore those that give you grief.

syz's avatar

Wear what makes you happy.

If negative comments make you unhappy, don’t wear it.

FlyingWolf's avatar

What it comes down to is that if you love the hat, and can let the insults others throw bounce off you, then wear the hat. If the screams and put downs make you so uncomfortable that you don’t want to deal with them, reserve the hat for when you are inside your apartment, making music, reading, etc. Honestly, if your preferred style is truly reflected in the pic you linked, hunker down and prepare for lots of, ahem, feedback, that is a pretty bold look.

There is no reason for you to let rude jerks keep you from wearing things that you love and that make you feel good. Although I must say I am dubious about your assertion that you don’t care what others think. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t have asked this question, because you wouldn’t need to hear the opinions of others before making a choice about the hat.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@fuglyduckling I’m not sure if you noticed this but look how many people have taken the time to give you their opinion. Have you noticed a similar response to almost all the answers?
We are all total strangers yet it is clear we care enough about you to give you our honest answers.
What does that tell you?

dappled_leaves's avatar

I think the bottom line here is that if people’s comments are causing you actual hurt, it can’t be enjoyable anymore for you to be wearing it. So maybe it’s time to retire that hat. It sounds like you’ve had it for a long time, anyway.

But in general, I’m not in favour of changing my style to please people around me. If I’m getting so many rude comments that I can’t enjoy being out and about in clothes that I like, chances are that I need to move to a more liberal place. In other words, maybe instead of changing the hat, you need to consider changing cities.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I don’t like drawing attention to myself for several reasons. Some people like that, but I don’t like sticking out like a sore thumb, so I wouldn’t. If you like being “unique”, then unfortunately the rude comments come with the territory. You aren’t going to change the rest of the world, so it is up to you if you want to blend in or stick out.

Seek's avatar

I’m a big believer in “a place for everything”.

If you want to wear that hat to Comic Con, Renaissance Festival, or other place where nerds get together to let their geek flag fly, go for it.

I love some of my re-enactment clothing. The fabric is breathable and comfortable, the clothing fits me well, and I thoroughly enjoy wearing it. But I also don’t like drawing attention to myself when I’m not “in character”. So I don’t wear a 9th century Irish leine to the grocery store. I wear jeans and a t-shirt.

gailcalled's avatar

How does this correlate with your recent anguished questions about a revision rhinoplasty with its pain and discomfort and your feeling about your nose and your appearance?

You said four days ago, “Since it is operated on, I feel half a person. It might sound weird but I feel like the orcs in Lord of The Rings.” I also seem to remember some earlier discussions that I can no longer find where you said you had the original nose job when you were 18 for cosmetic reasons, something that was part of your particular culture, which is southeast Asian.

This does not compute to me, particularly when I throw in your “models vs. prostitutes” questions and your responses. What gives?

cazzie's avatar

I know that when I’m working with kids, wearing my hair a certain way….Like two messy buns to look like ears, and a my little pony tshirt is cute, but I wouldn’t go to a job interview looking like that. If you are going to wear something that attracts negative attention, then you need to not care and go about your business. If it makes you self conscious and uncomfortable, there is little point in putting yourself through that. I live in a student town in Northern Europe. Anything goes here and no body looks twice. I think it’s context and I think it’s your own viewpoint. When I say ‘viewpoint’ I mean, is your perch high enough to not care or hear the haters? or do their slings and arrows hit and hurt your heart? If you need armour, put it on. If you can’t get over it, become less of a target in the every day and save your expressions for more appropriate times.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

@cazzie Yes, that’s what I said, you just put it better.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s whatever you’re comfortable with. If the comments really, really bother you, then don’t wear it. If you can just ignore them, then keep wearing it. It’s up to you.

fuglyduckling's avatar

@gailcalled Because clearly I didn’t think my appearance would change, it was mostly for my terribly breathing. I’m not going to be okay with an unexpected permanent change on my face.Sorry but I doubt anyone would be okay with that, whether they are strong, confident or not.

This question does not correlate with any of my other questions. So your point is invalid and nonsense. Human beings are complex creatures and for you to try to put me in a square shaped box to define and understand would do nothing but trouble. I see it as an attack or argument that will have no conclusion, ever. Especially in this case and how you’re basing your opinions on me. I’m not black or white (just like no one is).

@FlyingWolf @dappled_leaves and many others, who’ve said to keep wearing it if its not making me feel uncomfortable I agree at this point… At the end of the day if I am supporting ‘style’ as self-expression, comfort and freedom I should live to it! I shouldn’t have one opinion on something, but act otherwise. The comments like “you look stupid.” almost always come from middle aged man who dress up very uptight. I can’t please everyone… No matter what you do or what you wear or say there will be people who will attack you. Life is not about surviving, its about experiencing and enjoying. I think I should accept their insults as natural/normal and look past it.

Response moderated (Off-Topic)
Dutchess_III's avatar

Something to consider tho….obviously you like the way you look, but many others don’t. There was a question on here about speedos, and how some men think they look good, but pretty much the rest of the world is laughing at them.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
muppetish's avatar

mod says This question is in the General section. Flame-bait and personal attacks are not permitted. All responses must be on-topic and helpful to the question asked by the original poster.

trailsillustrated's avatar

what @GloPro said. Or move to Seattle?

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

If you’re a teenager you might get away with wearing a cute, hat with bunny ears. If you’re older, you probably look odd. I’m all for having your own style but I’m pretty sure it will affect how people relate to you and you may look like a bit of a nut. So, should you wear it or not? That’s up to you. If you love it and don’t care if other people think you look foolish, wear it. If you are bothered by people’s reactions, wear the hat at home when you’re alone.

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