General Question

Eggie's avatar

What would you do if your younger sibling doesn't listen to you?

Asked by Eggie (5162 points ) June 30th, 2014

Let’s say your younger brother or sister of fifteen years old stayed out all night and came home about 2am and you want to give him/her a scolding, but instead he/she walks off on you, apologises to mommy and still walks off while you are still trying to give that scolding. What would you do?

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13 Answers

Kardamom's avatar

You, as the brother should not be the one doing the scolding, it should be the child’s parent(s). If you think that the parent(s) are not adequately looking after this child, and letting them stay out until 2 a.m. on any regular basis, you may need to call Child Protective Services.

I’m assuming that you are not the legal guardian of your sibling. Is that correct?

Eggie's avatar

Its not about me, it was a problem that was brought up in a discussion.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

Nothing. If mom let him get away with it then I certainly must.

longgone's avatar

I don’t think scoldings would do much good there.

JLeslie's avatar

I wouldn’t try to scold my sibling.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

Remember your bird nest? Siblings are the same. You can watch it, care about it, clean some messes,and let it get on with life. Your birds survived, so will the sibling in question.

AshLeigh's avatar

I’m the youngest, so maybe I’m wrong, but isn’t that the parents job?

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Other than have a friendly chat about things whenever the chance arises, nothing much one can do. In most cases a scolding would only lead to bitterness and even to a rebellious attitude on the young one’s side.

Prosb's avatar

As the older brother, I tend more often to empathize with my younger brother, rather than conflict with him. If you are concerned about something, such as your sibling’s safety, let them know that you do genuinely care, and are only worried about them.

If you are just looking to argue reasons against decisions they want to make, it will only lead to scorn.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I am the youngest. My older sisters have never tried to scold me or punish me. That was mom and dad’s job. They would give me advice, or their opinion of something I did. And if I didn’t want to hear it, I was free to walk away.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

Nobody wants to be talked to, which is exactly what it means to be scolded, chided, or lectured. If somebody tried to give me “that scolding,” I, too, would walk away, just as the younger sibling did.

People are much more receptive with you talk with them – both people speak and listen. The older sibling can open the conversation casually (“You must have been having a really good time last night”) and see how it flows from there.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

@SadieMartinPaul My sisters wouldn’t have been that subtle. Ha-ha! They would have been quick to find out where I was and for what, and possibly lecture me on the danger I might be putting myself into. In other words, warn me, caution me – in other words, they would let me know that they care and are concerned for me. Whether mom and dad punish me or not would be the least of their concerns.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

^^^ I didn’t have an older sibling, but I’ve been one. My brother and only sibling is 8 years younger than I am. I never lectured him or gave him “a good talking to.” But, I was always there for him, and he knew how much I cared.

When my brother was a teenager, he briefly fell in with a group of bad kids. He ended up getting arrested. I made the 8-hour drive home, and all I said was, “I think we need to talk.” We spent about 4 hours together, mostly with him speaking and me listening. That was the first and last time my brother got into serious trouble.

Flash forward 35 years, and we’re still the same way with each other. Once, I knew that I’d become too dependent on alcohol, so I reached out to my brother for help. He didn’t give me advice or tell me what to do; he just listened, said a few reassuring things, and helped me understand that I had the power to fix my problem. He was right.

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