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poofandmook's avatar

Why do I keep having dreams that I'm cheating on my husband?

Asked by poofandmook (17230 points ) July 1st, 2014

I’m still probably considered a newlywed… I’m a happy, satisfied wife. There’s nothing wrong with our relationship at all. I just keep having dreams about other men. They’re always men that I know, but never men that I would ever be attracted to. Also, the man never looks like he does in real life. And there’s never any sexual contact in the dreams. But in the dream, I’m always aware that I’m cheating.

The worst part is how exhilarated I feel when I first wake up, before I’ve shaken off the dream. I feel 10x more guilty about that than anything else.

It’s pretty bothersome. I don’t usually read too much into dreams but I’ve had three of them in a span of a week… just wondering if anyone has any insight.

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10 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Newlywed? Sounds like you’re just adjusting to married life and getting used to the idea of one guy for long term.

rojo's avatar

How about this: “Most likely, such a dream represents the newness of your sexual passion. It may also signify anxieties of changing your identity – that of a spouse.” from some dream website

It could also mean you are horny.

marinelife's avatar

Take the good part of the dreams and incorporate them into your marriage. Pretend you and your husband haven’t met yet and meet up in a bar and have a drink and let things progress.

Or, if you do anything naughty in the dreams, whisper it to your husband when you are intimate.

Seduce him.

JLeslie's avatar

If they are men you know, then you are just putting a familiar person into your dream, that is very common I think. They represent something or someone more than being specifically who they are. Is there something specific they are doing in the dream?

livelaughlove21's avatar

They’re dreams. They mean nothing.

I’ve been having a recurring dream that my husband becomes possessed and tries to kill me. All it means is that I’m watching too many horror movies.

You being preoccupied and feeling guilty about it is only going to increase the likelihood that the dreams will continue. Chill out.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

Dreams can be your mind’s secret wish, or your mind’s secret fear.

When my husband was still alive, I had a dream about me being with the swim coach at the school where I work. It kind of freaked me out. I told my husband and we laughed about it. I mean, the swim coach was really cute and I thought he was the funniest, nicest guy, but he was happily married and so was I, and never in a million years did the thought ever cross my mind to see him as a sexual partner. But my subconscious did, I guess.

My husband teased me for years about the swim coach. It was an inside joke between us.

AshlynM's avatar

Just because you have these dreams doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to cheat or have any desire to cheat. Maybe you’re experiencing some stress or anxiety in your life right now. If you dream that you die or someone you know dies, that doesn’t really mean death in real life. Could mean you’re just stressed or worried.

kritiper's avatar

You dream about it because you think about it.

hearkat's avatar

I’m recalling that you were sick recently – are you taking medicine that could be messing with you?

poofandmook's avatar

@hearkat: No… and this started before that anyway :/

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