Social Question

DAVEJAY100's avatar

Does anyone have an amusing story regarding anything to do with driving?

Asked by DAVEJAY100 (321 points ) July 4th, 2014

A couple of years back I did some part time gardening work for a fantastic elderly lady, widowed, quite well off and living on her own, and who was in her early nineties. She was as fit as a fiddle and had looked after her huge garden for years, but recently was finding it just too much to handle so was now in need of some help.

She drove herself daily to the local village shops and was often seen chatting over a coffee there with friends, a very social, witty and likeable lady.

I called in one morning and could see that she seemed unusually down, and she eventually told me over a coffee.
“Well” she said, “As you know, I have been driving now for more than seventy years without accident, speeding offences, or driving convictions of any sort, and this morning I drove to the village as usual for my shopping. I called in to the grocers and was there no more than five minutes , I came out and was horrified to find a parking ticket stuck to my windscreen !!, my squeaky clean record gone in a flash ”. She cheered up after a cup of coffee and a joke or two, but the incident had really annoyed her, and she told me that she intended to write to traffic controll to complain that although she was parked where a sign clearly stated “LOADING AND UNLOADING ONLY” and that was exactly what I was doing, loading my shopping into my car!.

It was a few weeks later when I called in to see her again, and this time she was looking really deflated. “Yesterday” she said, ” I received this letter from traffic controll saying that they had spoken to the local traffic warden who had issued the ticket and that with regard to my age, clean record etc the warden had decided on this occasion to waive the offence”. “Then why so down” ?, I asked, “Well” she explained, “You’d hardly believe this, but this morning I especially drove down to the village to thank that dear kind traffic warden for his generosity, I walked right around the village and could find him nowhere, an hour later and out of breath I got back to my car, and he had stuck ANOTHER ticket on it” !!. I coughed over my coffee and went out into the garden.

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12 Answers

Mimishu1995's avatar

I don’t drive. So can story of riding my motorbike count?

johnpowell's avatar

I am 36 and have never had a license. I do have a permit and have driven around 20 times.

My sister had a six month old son and thought I should drive to the mall. Manual transmission.

I made it to a weird intersection and freaked the fuck out. I just got out of the car and walked around to the passengers side so she could take over. No clue why my sister allowed me to learn to drive with her baby in the backseat. That was pretty much the end of me ever wanting to learn how to drive.

DAVEJAY100's avatar

Go ahead Mimishu, would love to hear your motorcycle story, I’ve had loads of motorbikes in the past.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

Growing up in a rural area, my dad taught me to drive starting when I was 8 years old. In a manual car. That was when I was finally tall enough to reach the pedals. Until then, I could only sit on his lap and steer. We would move the seat all the way forward, place a large cushion on the seat, and he would teach me what to do.

One day, when I was maybe 12, I started the day’s driving flawlessly. We were driving on a dirt road, and I had done several starts and stops without bunny-hopping, stalling, or crunching the gears once. It was all going so well, that I decided it was time to step it up a notch, and go a bit faster – without running that idea past my dad. So I lined up a 90 degree corner, braked later and softer than usual, and steered through the corner at a much higher speed than before.

My dad is a poor passenger at the best of times. Even though I am an experienced driver now, and he trusts me, most times I can see in his face that he’d rather be driving. We made it through that corner, although I did have to use the full width of the road. My dad told me in a tight, carefully controlled voice to pull over. His knuckles were white from holding on to the door handle. The day’s driving was over. But he thought it was a misjudgement, and simply told me it was the right thing to do to steer through, rather than hitting the brakes mid-corner. It was a long time before I pushed the limits of a car again.

ucme's avatar

I drove naked only once, when I was 19 & found it fucking terrifying, but also hilarious.
It was a scorching hot summer’s day, us englanders get one every 50yrs or so & no one noticed, not to my knowledge anyway.
Not very amusing, but memorable for me at least #youngdumbfullofcum

Mimishu1995's avatar

One day I was riding on my motorbike peacefully when someone suddenly went right in my way in the opposite direction. We almost hit. He shouted at me for reckless riding. I was riding on the right side, so he was clearly riding on the wong side (in my country people are expected to go on the right side on two-way streets). I just thought “You arrogant jerk” and went on.

Later I founf out I was going on a one-way road, and the man was going on the right direction.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Remember I drive 2 trailer tractor trailer units for my job, anyways 2 summers ago about sixty miles from home ,and traveling the speed limit along this straight stretch an idiot in a SUV decides to make a pass, with on coming traffic, this idiot forced 3 on coming cars off on the shoulder over the white line just so he could pass me who was driving the speed limit, what makes this story great is the middle car, was a fully marked R.C.M.P car.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

Friend drives over drawbridge in Sarasota FL

Fisherman on bridge sets hook too hard.

Fish arcs through air and hits my friend’s windshield.

Leaves fish mark for me to see later.

GloPro's avatar

I saw a huge burly man on a Harley yesterday with a chihuahua strapped by a harness to his chest. The dog was standing on the gas tank, tongue flapping, wearing goggles, a tiny helmet, and a scarf. He clearly loved it. He reminded me of Snoopy’s Red Baron getup. It was pretty stinking cute.

There was only enough play in the lead to allow the dog that position. He could not have fallen off of the bike. At most this 6 pound dog would dangle a foot off of the fat man’s chest.

DAVEJAY100's avatar

Nice one GloPro, lol, I used to have a Jack Russel terrier that went almost everywhere with me on the bike, sitting on the tank, tongue out all the way., couldn’t get away with it these days.

kritiper's avatar

A co-worker told me this story. Not too funny from one POV, but hilarious from another.
It was summer and he had left the driver’s door window open overnight. A stray cat must have climbed in and took up temporary overnight residence under the seat. While driving down the freeway at 70 MPH the next morning with the window open, he was very startled to hear a strange noise from under the seat. He looked down between his legs to see the wild-eyed cat crawling out from under the seat. Before he could react fully, the cat run up through his legs and jumped out of the open window. Must have been the cat’s turn to be surprised!
@SQUEEKY2 will like this one: One morning I was driving to work on the same freeway, doing the speed limit, when some nut case went flying by at about 90. “Where are the cops when you need them,” I cursed. Seconds later I saw a cloud of dust from the median under an overpass. It was the State Police, hot in pursuit.
And this one: Back in the days of 55 MPH speed limits, I was heading home to Boise, ID. from Denver, Colo. Always trying to make time, I followed every trucker who had the hammer down. When I got to the Idaho line, there were no more truckers to follow so I slowed back to 55. Some guy in a ‘67 Mercury Cougar went cruising by at about 85 so I bumped my speed up to 70 thinking this guy will flush out any “bears” that might be lying in wait. An hour or so later I crested a hill to see the blinking lights of the State Police and. sure enough, he had pulled over the Cougar. “Thanks a lot” I thought as I went by at 55.
And one more: My grandmother would about leave the road to avoid hitting any little animals that might stray out onto the pavement. In traveling to Northern Nevada often, many Black-tailed Jack Rabbits would litter the road, alive and dead. Hitting them in her low-slung ‘60 Olds was a blast! But not when she was in the car! So when I was driving and a rabbit came out into the road, I would swerve all over like I was trying to avoid them, and then run them over at the last second. “Oh, the poor thing,” I would exclaim aloud while thinking “That’s one!”

Unbroken's avatar

First time driving I just watched speed… my sister decided to let me drive no permit parents gone… I took a corner too fast simultaneously hitting the brake and the gas left behind rubber. Drove up two trees had to climb down them…And it was a sunny day in a small town off of a busier road… we were filmed and lots of people came walking up to rubber neck and laugh. I later had to go back and cut down the trees and haul them away. People were still watching and laughing…

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