Social Question

xxcloudshadowxx's avatar

How to get depressed?

Asked by xxcloudshadowxx (16 points ) 3 weeks ago

I used to get bullied and was depressed for a long time. Since i moved to another school its over. i’m popular now, no more bullying, but it doesn’t feels right. Like i’m more comfortable being depressed. Can someone help me?

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14 Answers

Bill1939's avatar

The few brief periods when I was without depression felt right. The psychiatry of my generation would have us believe that depression arises from anger initiated in early childhood and from guilt over the emotion having occurred. Depression can be seen as retribution for that about which one feels guilt (self punishment). It is the scratch that relieves an itch. Whatever the cause of the itch, it interferes with the interaction and orientation to a foreign (depression free) reality and facilitates the return to a depressive state.

Try to focus on pleasant and self-affirming experiences. Notice your increasing interest in caring for things and people. The inward call of depression will diminish over time, though trigger events may push you in. After such events have passed and the depression largely subsided, a brief period of reflection about what made you vulnerable may prove beneficial.

gailcalled's avatar

Find a really expensive psychoanalyst and sign up for long-term treatment. His bills alone will depress you.

Mimishu1995's avatar

It sounds like you actually “miss” being depressed. When something happens for a long time and repeatedly, then suddenly stops, sometimes you will get the feeling of “something is missing”.

I agree with @Bill1939‘s solution. Try to distract yourself from that feeling by doing things you like and help others. After some time you will forget it.

Incoherency_'s avatar

What you need is a professional bully to help you regain the depression that you miss.

We provide a full range of Bullying Services, which is why our slogan is, “When it comes to BS, nobody beats us!”

Give me all your personal info, and one of our BS pros can start harassing you via Skype, Instant Messenger, email, smart phone, in person, blog, or by any other means of your choice! ;-D

GloPro's avatar

Just ask every person you find the slightest bit attractive out on a date. You’ll either find your depression through rejection and miserable dates or be having so much fun you won’t care.

xxcloudshadowxx's avatar

@Inhorency what information do you need and does it cost money?

xxcloudshadowxx's avatar

And thanks to everyone for helpi ng

talljasperman's avatar

Just sleep in day and night and don’t go outside. You will have cabin fever and be a little depressed.

canidmajor's avatar

Is this a serious question about wanting to return to a state that is comfortable and familiar? If so, I understand that all the new positives may be a bit daunting, trying to maintain a level of popularity can be stressful, and you may feel like a bit of a fraud, worried that your new friends will suddenly realize that you are unloveable. You’re probably not, but it’s hard to get away from the ingrained self-doubt.

@Bill1939 has some excellent advice, and @Mimishu1995 also.

I’m guessing the others just thought you were looking for some flip and snide responses, which they have duly provided.

mazingerz88's avatar

Seems your depression was bullying induced. Which means to feel down again, you have to have that again. Unacceptable. Try to discover instead, how to enjoy the good break you’re having since life eventually happens and almost always, something else that’s a serious bummer will arise and cramp your style.

I think the idea is to keep bouncing forward not bouncing back. And that there will always be bouncing. :)

hearkat's avatar

My impression of your situation is similar to @canidmajor‘s perception – you became comfortable with being belittled, so it feels awkward to be liked and appreciated.

When someone is repeatedly given negative messages about themselves, they start to internalize the message that they are beneath others and not deserving of positive attention, friendship, love, or happiness.

When one’s self-esteem is lowered, their expectations for themselves are lowered, as well. It’s human nature to seek the path of least resistance, so upon receiving approval the person’s view of themselves is challenged, and that is uncomfortable. Now there are people who genuinely like you, and there’s a new set of expectations to live up to, but you doubt whether you’re capable and you feel like you aren’t really the person that they perceive you to be. This brings self-doubt because you aren’t entirely sure that you can live up to this perception that others have of you.

I understand this challenge and I still struggle with it as I approach 50 years of age, because I was belittled by family members from my earliest moments. It is to your benefit that you are having success and finding acceptance at such a young age, and that you are in a new environment away from the toxic bullies. You didn’t deserve to be bullied and you might want to consider that they bullied you because they saw something in you that intimidated them. Most bullies put others down in order to lift up their own weak esteem.

It will be a process, and some days will be easier while others will be harder, but you’ll get to a point where you have a sense of integrity that allows you to fully appreciate and embrace being happy.

Also like @canidmajor, I am disappointed by some of the replies you’ve received, since your question seems to be a sincere request for help.

gailcalled's avatar

The OP should ask to have his question moved to General, thereby obviating the flippancy,including my answer, which did have a small kernel of a serious suggestion in it…find a trained therapist to talk with.

rory's avatar

It’s so much easier to struggle than to feel okay. When you’re in a state of crisis, you don’t need to think so much about detail things—homework, being a good friend, etc. It’s an emergency, and your body reacts as such. So it does make sense that you’re feeling this way. All of a sudden you have a responsibility to be a fully functioning, really OKAY person, and that’s incredibly hard.

Just know that you’re forgetting the other side of depression, and that’s immeasurable pain and suffering.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Feeling some struggle is being alive. It’s normal, common and it builds character. Being popular, loved and appreciated is not the norm, it’s rare. So, naturally it feels a bit off. You really should be thankful and appreciative though. Soak it up while you can. Embrace it, you are in a unique position of seeing both perspectives. One is not better than the other but having both is better than just having one. Don’t waste it, use it to bring yourself and others up. Teach others to do the same. I have had similar experiences in adolescence, it’s going to be uplifting to you in the end, you’ll see.

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