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talljasperman's avatar

Is it normal to be scared to lose the rest of my family?

Asked by talljasperman (18257 points ) 2 months ago

I have my mom and two sisters and a dad all of which I have limited contact with, except my mom, and I am scared that I am slowly losing everyone. I have no friends in the town I live in and most of my friends have moved on of passed on. My ex boss died this week and I realized that anyone can die at any time. What do I do? I don’t like the human condition.

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7 Answers

ZEPHYRA's avatar

I fully agree with your aversion to the human condition, it is one of the most futile concts we have to come to terms with. Can you not slightly increase contact with your mother and at least keep closer contact with the other members even through the Net?

Dan_Lyons's avatar

The human condition is great. You just have to get over needing all these people. What’s so bad about living on your own? I dig it myself.
Anyone can die at any time. Isn’t it great! We have a chance to get outta here! Next stop who knows where, but it’s gonna be better than here (I hope)!

marinelife's avatar

There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop death or stop loss. They are parts of life. Focus on those you have left.

GloPro's avatar

By isolating yourself you are creating your own situation, and thus exacerbating your fear. I am horrified that the day will come that I will lose my mother, but I have carefully cultivated a strong support system of friends, co-workers, and family that will help me get through any loss.
If you only have a few people in your life it will be more devastating to lose one of them. Try to go out and meet new people.

anniereborn's avatar

I am the youngest of seven children. That always felt like a pretty cool position to be in. That is until I began to get older. Then I realized that more than likely, I will get to be at each one of their funerals. (I am the youngest by eight years). My first sibling died in October.
My father died when I was 13 and my mom is 89 and in a nursing home.
Your fear makes a lot of sense to me.

Mimishu1995's avatar

You don’t like the human condition, but you can’t stop it.

I have the same fear of losing my family too (actually I already lost my grandpa). But no matter how fearful I am, I still know there is nothing I can do.

You should prepare yourself for that day, because it’s inevitable. At least you will feel less pain if you are well-prepared.

And for the time being, don’t think much about that horrible outcome and enjoy the time you are with them :)

Haleth's avatar

Other than your mom, when was the last time you tried calling any of them? Or even just an e-mail? You might be surprised how happy they are to hear from you. You could start with something small, like, “hey, how are you doing these days?”

As far as the human condition, even just thinking about it is a big step in the right direction. So many people go through life and all they focus on is their everyday activities. “Someone cut me off in traffic…asshole!” “Bruh, are you coming to happy hour tonight?” Big freaking deal.

The only way to find an answer is by asking a question first. Thinking about big existential problems is scary, but it’s also kind of awesome to really think things through and decide how you’re going to live your life, and then do that with a real sense of purpose.

Anyway, your family is always your family. Even if you’re not nearby, you’d be surprised how much they still care about you. Or how they’ll help you, if you really need help. Have you asked them?

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