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How to deal with poor behaviour from two best friends?

Asked by jlk2525 (176 points ) 3 weeks ago

Over the weekend one of my beloved pets passed away. I wrote a status on Facebook letting everyone know and it was obvious how distressed I was. Many people, old school friends, family, work friends included were able to send me a message some even sending me flowers or a card. I have two best friends that I have known since childhood, and please don’t get me wrong I did not expect any one to do or say anything and it means a lot that they did, but I did not hear from those two best friends for two days.

The first was on holiday overseas but liked my status so I know she knows what happened. I didn’t message her because I didn’t want to distract her from her trip and she was coming back the next day (Keep in mind when she was fighting with her boyfriend when I was in Europe I was on the phone to her). The other spoke to me earlier on the day it happened before my pet passed yet did not follow up to see how my pet or I was. I had a missed call from him last night but no message since. Being two days later I feel it’s a matter of too little too late. Both know how upset I get regarding my pets and know they can contact me if I am upset.

The first had time to post a selfie yesterday and finally messaged me last night but it was about keeping the date free for her sisters birthday. The second friend has been busy renovating but I feel that is no excuse for being a poor friend. I know if the shoe was on the other foot no matter how busy I was I would at least take the time to send a text message.

As I am in the midst of grief, I would like your opinion on how to confront them about this? I don’t see the point of having friends if they are not there for you when you need them. I was distraught, they would have known that and I feel that I can’t forgive them for being too self absorbed to not be there for me when I really needed them. Despite the many years of our friendship, I am very giving to my friends and I feel I deserve better. Should I ignore them until I am ready to confront them?

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