General Question

fuglyduckling's avatar

Is it normal to feel old going in my late twenties?

Asked by fuglyduckling (402 points ) July 15th, 2014

I feel so old, and when I see younger people I remember my youth and feel sad. Did you feel like this?

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24 Answers

SecondHandStoke's avatar

I felt like that at that age.

I stopped it.

Advice? Things aren’t nearly as over as you think.

Let it go. Savor the moment.

You’ll feel this way the rest of your life if you allow it.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

It is normal to THINK you feel old. When your first hour walking each day your knees sound like those real old Barbie doll knees, and you want pudding instead of an apple because pudding doesn’t make your dentures slip, and the neighbors complain your tv is too loud, but you can barely make out what the news anchor is saying, you will think back to your twenties and wish you could have life like that again.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

By the way, you look very nice. :-)

JLeslie's avatar

In my late 20’s I didn’t feel like that, but I know several people who have their own mini crisis when they turned 30.

Be in the moment. When you are 40 you will look back at the 20’s and think how young you are. In your 50’s the 40’s look young. Be in the moment! Pursue your interests. That will help you feel young rather than life just passing by. My friends who are now in their mid forties either look back and see all the many things they did in life that they wanted to do, or look back and have regrets and wonder if they are still able to try to do something new at their age. The former is the better.

The best thing about aging is you begin to figure out life a little more and most people feel more happiness as they get older.

anniereborn's avatar

I had a mini crisis when I turned 25. To me that made me feel “adult”. Like I was a total adult. I was no longer a “young adult”. It made me feel like I had to become all kinds of responsible.
I look back from 20 years hence and WISH I was 25. However, I don’t fault my younger self for feeling that way at the time.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I know this sounds trite but if you want to feel young, stay in shape. Get exercise by doing activities with others or alone. Don’t overeat. Don’t smoke. Avoid drug or alcohol habits
You are a young, female living in a first world country. That means you have a life expectancy of 90+. 30 is the new 20. Stay in shape so you can enjoy it.

When your 10 and 20 year high school reunions roll around you’ll be the Belle of the Ball. :-)

Pachy's avatar

I know that feeling well. But give it a few decades and you’ll realize that obsessing on your age is a waste of time. Precious time. Because you’ll never be younger than you are today.

Just wish I could take my own advice.

ucme's avatar

Don’t get hung up on numbers, they will end up your gallows.
Everyone is as old as they feel, in body & mind, that’s it.

El_Cadejo's avatar

I felt pretty shitty when I turned 25. My birthday was a pretty depressing day actually. The way I looked at it was “here I am, quarter of a century old, probably lived about 30% of my life now, what have I accomplished? Absolutely nothing.” Took me a couple months to get over that.

marinelife's avatar

I had a 30th birthday crisis when I turned 29. I ended up changing my entire life to one that was more fulfilling.

thorninmud's avatar

When you think about it, it’s only recently in human history that someone in their late twenties might consider themselves less than a fully grown adult. By thirty, Alexis de Tocqueville had served as a member of the French parliament and published Democracy in America (by 53, he was dead). By 24, Nietzche was chair of the Classical Philology dept. at the University of Basel and by 30 he had published 5 books (by 55, he was dead). Not so long ago, you had to hit the ground running early in life because life was a sprint, not a leisurely stroll.

People are “kids” longer today than at any time before.

JLeslie's avatar

@thorninmud I would say people are adolescents longer than ever. I don’t know how long the experts are defining adolescence, but it would not surprise me if it is ages 12 to 25 considering the research coming out about the brain and it taking until about age 25 for people to really understand consequences to actions.

For me, I always was “grown up” and always wanted to be a grown up, and didn’t enjoy a lot of my high school years, so being in my 20’s didn’t feel old it felt like I finally had grown into myself. No more dealing with peers who always wanting to be drunk or take stupid risks. Or, less of it anyway. At 46 now I wish to go back in time, but it really took until my 40’s to feel that way. I wonder if how we feel in our late 20’s has a lot to do with how much we enjoyed our teen years, or how wild we were as kids and teens. Or, maybe not wild, but just really had a lot of fun when they were younger. That those people feel more of a loss needing to be responsible or making committments.

zenvelo's avatar

I don’t know about normal, but it really isn’t unusual.

At various times in their lives, it seems most people pause and reflect on their age, on how time is passing, on where they stand in relation to their peers. But all of that is comparing one’s insides to everyone else’s outside; a bit of distortion in perception.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I guess it’s not unusual, contemplating our mortality isn’t always bad. But don’t dwell on it. My 20’s where a long time ago and I’m still a big kid. It’s all in the attitude and remember to use it or lose it. Stay active, work out, and keep things young.

anniereborn's avatar

@JLeslie Yes it is true. My teenage years were a blast. I wasnt a “partier”, but I just had a lot of fun. It mostly involved doing theater. I didn’t want to grow up honestly. And I think that is why 25 hit me hard. I wasn’t hit hard again until I hit 40.

JLeslie's avatar

@anniereborn Why do you have to stop doing what you love? Why not do theatre again? Even if it is just one or two plays a year.

anniereborn's avatar

@JLeslie I have just started doing theater again very recently actually.But it wasn’t JUST theater that made my teenage years happy. Naivety also comes to mind.

anniereborn's avatar

Well I’ve had 20 years more life experience now. Plus many years of the internet. I know WAY more about the world than I’d probably like to. This is not to say I’d like my head in the sand. However, some things just aren’t necessary to be seen or known to live a good life.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@anniereborn Well I had to get tough at 12. It wasn’t fun.

anniereborn's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I repressed a LOT of bad stuff from my childhood. It started to surface when I was about 20.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@anniereborn Oh crap, I hate that. Your childhood should be good but there aren’t any guarantees. I’m so sorry.

anniereborn's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe My childhood was pretty bad. But a certain situation changed when I was 13. Life became good until my PTSD started up at age 20.

JLeslie's avatar

@anniereborn That’s interesting that at a young age you were naive and you think that really impacted your happiness. I didn’t get to be naive I would say, but I felt safe with my parents and other family members, so my world usually felt safe.

I can tell you that almost every woman I know has more happiness as she gets older, even if she has a lot of regrets and has to go through some painful experiences. It’s like we know ourselves better and so it changes how we look at the world and how we experience it. In my 30’s I began to feel more adventurous and also found more beauty in nature and anything having to do with my senses. In my 40’s I am trying not to give a damn about people in my life who really aren’t very nice, it’s like all of a sudden a switch flipped and I can just say fuck ‘em. My husband has been able to do that since we met in our 20’s. He is a little too extreme, but I am beginning to understand better.

My point is, generally things get much better for women in many realms as they age. Something to look forward to.

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