Social Question

dina_didi's avatar

How do you flirt? Do you make the first move or wait for the other person to make it?

Asked by dina_didi (1221 points ) July 17th, 2014

What is your first move? How do you let the other person know that you like him?
Would you flirt with a friend if you liked him or her? How?
Don’t forget to tell what’s your gender and if it changes something in the way you flirt.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

24 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

Gradual baby steps… I try not to flirt with some one all at once I build until we both have free time and then I use a pickup line. My best is as follows:
Me: Can you help me?.
Her: sure I will.
Me: I have been trying all week to seduce you can you help me?
Her: giggles sure.

I’ve only used the line once but It was very successful. She helped me. I would have rather not of used it because she turned out to be completely conformist freaky woman.

Mariah's avatar

Hmm, the last time I wanted to flirt with somebody I waited until we were miles apart on Christmas break, got drunk-brave, and texted him “you’re cute”

Smooth as fuck.

chyna's avatar

@Mariah Did it work?

Mariah's avatar

Yep. Hahaha.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I make eye contact, see if she maintains it, then let her make the next move. I don’t push at all.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

Flirting… Okay.

Flirting come in a multitude of forms and intensities.

On the streets on Manhattan I could see something I like, or more specifically I see someone that has distinguished themselves with obvious confidence: Their poise, their daring yet successful outfit, their aesthetically pleasing gait. The possibilities are nearly endless.

Flirting could be as simple as an appreciative and knowing smile as I pass, with no concern that I might ever see that individual again.

If one demonstrates subtle self confidence then it opens doors to flirting that to the outside observer might look like nothing more than casual conversation. If I state that there is something about another that I find appealing almost as a simple matter of fact often the doors of appreciation inside them open.

My longtime ex would “complain” that I was flirting with another in a club or bar. The “problem” was that she watched me sometimes pretend that I wasn’t aware of the girl’s obvious interest. Instantly, from the perspective on an outsider, flirting was taking place by both parties, me being one of them.

She loved watching me operate and experienced pleasure being reminded that her me was wanted by others. If this person made the right, tasteful and unassuming moves they became a candidate for heavier flirting, making out as Mama looked on and in rare cases an invitation to come home with us would be offered.

Fast forward a handful of years I’m now married to another woman. We speak very frankly about all aspects of our relationship, interaction with others IRL as well as online.

Since I am long experienced I know just how far I can take my flirting whether my wife is present or not.

She also enjoys seeing, or hearing about, how others reacted to my attention. The only difference now being that for the time being, flirting is just that, and nothing more.

My marriage has some aspects of my profoundly exiting and gratifying former long term relationship. This is possible because of a policy of complete honesty and the fact that we are emotionally mature grownups.

I’m married but the flirting doesn’t have to end because I know precisely how far is acceptable to go.

I’m a heterosexual male.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

There is no 1st move/wait for the other person. It is all flirt from the git go.
It’s called living life. You just do it or you don’t.
I’m sure it’s different for guys.

XOIIO's avatar

Chloroform usually works well to flirt with people, usually as a first move though.

AshLeigh's avatar

I’m pretty blunt. Before I was dating the guy I’m with right now I just announced to him “This girl and I were talking about how cute we think you, earlier.” It was mellow.
He just said “Thanks. I think you’re cute, too.”

talljasperman's avatar

@XOIIO Does this smell like Chloroform?

Coloma's avatar

I’m bold, it’s my personality, out there, humorous to fault, zero social anxiety. haha
Just tonight I ran into a Walmart which I never go to but needed a few cans of cat food and was teasing/flirting with a man about my age in the pet food isle. I cracked a joke about how his red plaid shorts and top made a “People of Walmart” fashion statement, another lone guy nearby started cracking up and asked me to critique his outfit, jeans and a black tee with some sort of design. I told him he was fine, no worries but the other guy needed a serious makeover.

They were both cracking up and I could tell they liked me and my humor as I sashayed off laughing in my cute blue sundress. ;-)
I have been told by many men in my lifetime that they like a bold woman, I don;t have a coy bone in my body, if you want something you just have to reach out and TAKE it! :-D

Pachy's avatar

I’ve always been a flirt, and what I’ve found is… LESS IS MORE.

Mariah's avatar

Where smooth texts fail, these eyes generally do the job too. http://i.imgur.com/4Tjydb4.jpg?1

Dan_Lyons's avatar

Wow youngster! Them’s some beautiful flirtatious eyes! Blue too, I believe! ^
^

El_Cadejo's avatar

<——Has zero “game”. Small talk is one of my most hated things, flirting is, more or less small talk with the eventual goal of getting into someones pants. For me, in my relationships, it’s always been someone I’ve known for a while and things just kinda evolved in that route.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Smile at them and make eye contact. Say hello. Talk to them about them, ask questions and show I’m interested in who they are and what they do.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

Excellecnt answer @Pachy

Coloma's avatar

I don’t “flirt” because I am actually really interested in a person, I flirt and strike up conversations and joke with others because I love to engage people, period. It’s a game for me, to see who can play back, be quick witted, funny, roll with some improv. This world is woefully lacking in playful people, flirtatious or otherwise.
Nothing is more fun and energizing for a comedic extrovert like myself than to come across a really ALIVE person that isn’t one of the walking dead.

A little play goes a long way to make my day. :-)

SecondHandStoke's avatar

“Did it hurt?”

“What?”

“When you broke through the Earth’s crust ascending from hell.”

Coloma's avatar

^^^ LOL

XOIIO's avatar

@SecondHandStoke Oh man that’s great XD

SecondHandStoke's avatar

Can anyone PM me what was moderated?

This always cranks my curiosity up to 11.

muppetish's avatar

{mod says] This question has been relocate to Social. As a result, some comments initially removed in the General section have been restored.

Misspegasister28's avatar

I’m a girl. I’m also bi, but I find myself more attracted to guys. Anyway, I’m a really shy person, so I don’t necessarily “flirt” with people in fear that they’ll think I’m weird. I just talk to everyone normally and treat them nicely. I know that if I like a person though, and I talk to them, that I happen to stutter more and blush. So I don’t really flirt, I just come off as really awkward hahaha

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther