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Help! Why do I have such a schoolgirl crush after one date?

Asked by LeavesNoTrace (2534 points ) July 24th, 2014

I’m in my mid-twenties and have started dating again after a long term relationship ended (by my own choice) a few months ago.

As much as I hate the ‘idea’ of using any sort of app to meet guys, my friends recommended I try Tinder and overall my experience hasn’t been bad. I live in NYC so there’s a large array of men to select from and I’ve met some nice guys actually, but none that I really felt a ‘spark’ for. That is until this past weekend.

I was visiting my aunt 7 hours away in Western NY and started talking to a guy who was also from NYC/LA and was visiting his family in the area. (He splits his time between coasts as an actor). We agree to meet for a drink the next night and it turned out to be quite possibly, the best date I’ve ever had—and I’m young, but no novice.

Interestingly enough, we find out that his family knows my family, we both used to live in the same Astoria neighborhood, AND he was the lead in a B’way show I modeled for a couple of years and we’d both seen images of one another in the past without even realizing it. And to think we randomly crossed paths in this little town I hadn’t even visited since I was 13!

The entirety of the evening was spent laughing, flirting, and having great conversations. We stayed out until about 2pm, and ended up making out on a park bench by a waterfall like a couple of randy adolescents. Except there was nothing, dirty or weird about it, it just felt…right in a way…and I never wanted it to end. It was as if my body was pure electricity and I don’t remember ever feeling that in my entire life. It was, quite possibly, the best kiss I’ve ever had and it was with a near stranger!

As soon as he dropped me off, he sent me some very positive texts about what a great time he’d had and how happy he was he got to spend time with me.

We texted a little the next day and then fell out of contact until yesterday morning (four days later) when I had the nerve to say hello to him on FB. He responded immediately and we had a short but friendly chat. I asked him if he was coming to NYC and to let me know if he wanted to ‘hang out or something’ and he said ‘You got it!” and then that was it.

Now, I find myself constantly distracted with thoughts of him, delusional thoughts that are only setting me up for heartbreak because I’m not even sure he likes me. I wonder if he’s changed his mind and won’t want to see me and am starting to feel rather insecure. Help!

Please, helpful advice only, no snark or mean-spirited comments. I know I sound like some daft teenager with a schoolgirl crush and I feel like one too!

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