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anniereborn's avatar

What is the allure of "50 Shades of Grey"? (NSFW)

Asked by anniereborn (5270 points ) 2 months ago

I want to hear people’s reasons. What makes you love this book/movie/story? I am not looking for mocking or hate reactions.
(Although I am sure they will happen). Please try to be nice.

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16 Answers

anniereborn's avatar

Here’s one of my theories…..A lot of women take on way too much these days (as do men) and they want someone to take control so they don’t have to think.
And perhaps the “taboo” of BDSM is exciting to many.

ucme's avatar

It’s no worse than the old Mills & Boon books, a bit of escapism, a good read for women, some at least.

livelaughlove21's avatar

The taboo factor, yes, and because it’s something many people have never been really exposed to before. Also, it’s about sex, so people are automatically going to be interested in it. Sex sells. Women in particular may be interested because it’s erotica – romance and sex together – the same reason women read those cheesy romance novels. Plus, Christian Grey is that dark, haunted bad boy with a mysterious, painful past that certain women cling to and try to “fix.” Part of the allure of Twilight as well – which fits, since 50 Shades was originally Twilight fanfiction.

I personally felt that the books were not well written and much steamier (and more accurate) BDSM can be found online for free. I disliked Anastasia from the beginning; the girl has no personality, and what the hell is up with that “inner goddess” crap? I also think they did a horrible job casting the roles – the guy playing Christian isn’t even anything special in the looks department, aside from his nice body. He’s supposed to be gorgeous and intimidating…dude looks like a puppy dog. And she looks too old to be Anastasia. The trailer was a huge disappointment and I have no plans to see it.

^ Not hate, just the truth.

Pazza's avatar

Jeeeze….. I wish I knew the answer to that.
My wife bought two sets.
One she read, and the others still in the wrapper.
She seems to love the book in theory, but she’s not too keen on it in practice!?!......

To me, for women sex is a bit like ironing.
They can’t really be arsed with the task.
But once they’ve finished, they get an immense sence of satifaction that they’ve achieved something…......

maybe i’m just not putting enough effort in?..........

jonsblond's avatar

I don’t get why some of my female aquaintances gush over this book. The hype annoys me. I’d rather get my thrills by reading King or Koontz.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@Pazza If you’re sleeping with women who think of sex as a task, you’re sleeping with the wrong kind of women. That or you aren’t doing something right…..

LuckyGuy's avatar

The guy is a billionaire. For most women that automatically makes him hot.

An example: Seriously?

dappled_leaves's avatar

@LuckyGuy He’s smart and a philanthropist – so, obviously it must be the money that women are attracted to. Er, what?

LuckyGuy's avatar

Sure. He’s all that. But sexy?

I just looked up the definition of sexy. According to Webster. “1 : sexually suggestive or stimulating : erotic 2 : generally attractive or interesting”

If he wasn’t oozing cash from every pore would women give him the time of day? I contend this follows the findings of Dubner and Levitt, published in Freakonomics: the man’s income is, by far the most significant factor for a woman to rate a match successful. (results from over 75 million matches on dating sites.)

Here’sa thought experiment for you. Keeping everything else in that book the same, would 50 shades be as popular if Darcy’s name was Dick and he worked at the Oxbo factory as a design engineer?

dappled_leaves's avatar

My point is that either of the qualities I listed can be seen as sexy, in addition to good looks (or if you wish, money). It’s unfortunate that your experience seems to be limited to only very shallow women.

rojo's avatar

From my experience it is read about it; daydream about it; try it; enjoy it; feel guilty and somewhat ashamed about enjoying it; wait several months and repeat. Not sure what the thing is.

Maybe I am doing my part wrong or enjoying my part too much.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I have no idea I put it in the ’ eat pray love’ category and the ‘sex and the city’ movies – I couldn’t get through the book ‘eat pray love’ and I’m sure I would vomit if I tried this movie or book-—and I am a sex worker

livelaughlove21's avatar

@trailsillustrated Sex worker? Is that like a porn star or something?

I wasn’t aware Eat Pray Love was ever a big deal.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@dappled_leaves That is not my experience. I am quite fortunate to have good looks, money, formidable reproductive equipment as well as unparallelled humility. ~

The study I quoted was done by the Nobel prize winner in economics Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt. They use “big Data” to tease out real information from the noise.
They looked at the results of 75 million matches (maybe 90 million) with the associated characteristics of each person and what they stated they desired in a partner.. Then he looked at whether the match was successful or not.

Most women did not specifically say they were looking for a man with money. They say they want someone who “makes them laugh”, or “likes walks in the park” or is a certain height or age range, or education level, etc. .
But, after analyzing the results from 75,000,000 matches, by far, only one factor was the best predictor of match success – the man’s income. Period.
Now you can argue that maybe healthier, better looking males make more money . Maybe. But all the other factors were dwarfed by income. He even cross correlated to pull out and examine the effect of height, weight,. body type. They were insignificant when compared to the man’s annual income. Dubner wrote that “likes walks in the park…was not even on the radar screen”.

Similarly, for men looking for women, the number one factor was the woman’s body weight followed by the woman’s income. Dubner even calculated how much income could offset extra weight. $ X /pound.
That study was done over 7 years ago. I’m sure the data set is larger now.
We might not like the answers but it is hard to argue with 75,000,000 data points.

By the way, I did read the book . I read Freakonomics a few years earlier so I had that in my mind as I read 50 shades..

LuckyGuy's avatar

Also hopefully you caught my little name. If he was a Joe instead of a Christian would that have an effect? Try Rhoda Morgenstern instead of Anastasia Steele.

trailsillustrated's avatar

@livelaughlove haha no it’s a call girl.

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