General Question

pleiades's avatar

It's a official, I'm a hermit, care to welcome me to the club? What has your life been like up to now?

Asked by pleiades (6523 points ) 2 months ago

I love not going out! I realized amongst my peers (we’re all in the age range of 25–30) that I find myself questioning why on earth do they still go out so much? Ok not in such a demeaning way. But more in the way of, geez, I have records to listen to, I have articles to read, I have music to learn and all of this happens at home. I honestly no longer give a damn to go out for beers and see how everyones life panned out that week with their stagnant un-life changing jobs.

Of course it doesn’t mean I won’t do it. Just not on a weekly basis. Maybe like once every 4 months. Have I become cynical? Or is this normal behavior for a project oriented type? I really could care less for a social life.

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16 Answers

Coloma's avatar

Part maturity part personality theory/temperament.
Intellectually inquiring minds do not want to be with others simply for the fact of having bodies surround them. Digging your own company is a virtue and being able to entertain and amuse yourself is also a trait of the more intelligent personality. I’m an extrovert by nature but I have always had a hermit side and love my solitude.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Always have and always will be that way. I don’t know if I just feel more fulfilled and comfortable at home or if I am a bit anti-social, but I would rather not go out. When I do go out, seldom do I come back home feeling that I enjoyed myself. Weird? Maybe, but I don’t care.

jonsblond's avatar

Congrats and welcome to the club! You are going to save a lot of money being a hermit.

johnpowell's avatar

It is a Friday night. I used to be pretty bummed if I had nothing to do on a Friday. Like you I kinda stopped caring around 25. I became cool with doing what I wanted instead of what I though I should be doing.

jca's avatar

It’s not called being a hermit, it’s called growing up.

Haleth's avatar

You know… I’m in the same age group as you, and I’ve pretty much always felt that way my whole life. Hanging out by myself is basically my resting state, and spending time with other people takes an extra push.

But there really is something to be said for good company. If it’s the right people, they’ll invigorate you with their different viewpoints and make you think new thoughts.

I’m super introverted, and I’ve finally become okay with it. But in recent years, it seems like people are becoming self-congratulatory about being introverted, and it’s actually a way to avoid challenging themselves. It would be kind of like saying, “I’m so lazy! It’s so great sitting on the couch eating cheetos all day!” And everyone else who eats cheetos high fiving each other over that, now that their lifestyle is finally accepted.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m in full Walden Pond mode most of the time and I think happy hours are totally heinous bullshit. It’s just easy to get trapped into your own little bubble.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

There doesn’t have to be a deep meaning for everything. You aren’t in the mood right now for the bar scene. You’re doing something else. That’s cool. Go when you want. Being single and free is a great place to be!! Do your own thing.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I’ve always felt that way about going out to bars and clubs, and I’m only 24.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I was in my mid 20’s also when I stopped caring about going out.

KNOWITALL's avatar

WHat @haleth said. Hermits sometimes need a reminder that we can & should help others.

hearkat's avatar

Welcome to the quiet masses. I’m an introvert, and my fiancé is also introverted. We’re at the mid-century point now, but I’ve always preferred hanging out at home or at a friend’s house to going out to clubs and crowded places, even in my teens and 20s. In addition to being introverted, I also have some sensory issues, where I get overwhelmed by too much noise or movement around me. This graphic guide to handling introverts has been very popular abound the web.

Mariah's avatar

I’m not so much of a hermit in college as I once was, but I always have been and always will be very capable of being happy alone. I have so many solitary hobbies that bring me joy. I am pretty proud to be so emotionally independent and I have a lot of friends who would be better off if they could learn that skill.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

@hearkat I love that graphic, it’s the honest truth.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m 46 and I still love going out. Going out dancing that is. I never drank, so my gig was not to go to a bar to drink. I don’t go out dancing much anymore. I like going out to dinner also once in a while, we eat out about once a week. I like to go out to be out. Out of the house, someone else serving me, no dishes to clean, walk around, be around people.

I love staying home too, I like both.

Mariah's avatar

I’m curious why so many think this is related to maturity. What’s immature about wanting to go out and socialize? I think we might be conflating maturity with energy levels. We tend to “settle down” as we get older and have less energy.

For my case, I was more of a shut-in when I was younger and less mature, but my energy levels were low then due to health problems.

dappled_leaves's avatar

@Mariah “I’m curious why so many think this is related to maturity. What’s immature about wanting to go out and socialize?”

I agree. I am also more social now than when I was younger. Partly, I think this is due to being more self-confident, which I think does come with age and maturity.

Not saying it’s a bad thing to become a homebody, especially if you love that lifestyle. But it’s not a “welcomed inevitability” for everyone.

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