How can I make $1000 quick?

Sell some of your belongings.

tutor a rich kid.

Be willing to do what no one else will.

Sell an organ, or sell a relative. Or better yet, sell a relative’s organ.

donate blood and hair.

Get a cash advance on a CC

^Only do this if you are desperate. Interest rate would be astronomical.

@chyna You realize that was not serious right?

No I didn’t.

Send a bunch of stuff to an auction.

Bake 1,200 super-delicious oversized cookies and sell them for $1 each ($200 for ingredients).

Advertise yourself as a “masseuse” somewhere.

@talljasperman “tutor a rich kid.”

He’d have to be a pretty dumb rich kid. :/

Go on Wheel Of Fortune, pick “R, S, T, L, N”, then choose a vowel or two. Even if you keep spinning bankrupt, they have a $1000. minimum for losers.
Or, steal a police cruiser, and sell it to a chop shop with a sense of humor.
Sell a kidney on the black market.
Donate sperm. It pays way better than blood, you have better limits on how often you can donate. (I don’t know anywhere that pays for hair. Locks of Love is a charity, and does not pay.)
Wash some ones, and print Bens on the paper.

Stand at the vehicle entrance of the local Walmart with a cardboard sign that says, “Stranded Deaf Veteran”, can in hand.

Or, the answer to the question, “Why can’t a stranded deaf veteran get a hand in the US?

Pick up alonely’s at the airport and take them for an inner sight seeing joy ride.

Start a black market firefly business.~

I could find that loose change lying around somewhere, pocket money?

Sell your laptop.

Get hit by someone who has great insurance coverage.