How are you going to tell your child about his father if you had insemination?

If it was me, I’d focus on the idea that you chose to have your child. That you know they’re perfect for you because you decided who would provide the sperm that would go into making them. Just make it age appropriate and stress the love that led to them existing. As they get older, provide more scientific and detailed explanations.

I believe that being honest with the child from earliest days is very important so that they are never ashamed. Remember that this life will be normal for your child. Make sure you let them know that they were so wanted that you were willing to do this.
I have seen some excellent discussions on this site, just enter “insemination” into the search bar. Ask the sperm bank for references to groups that can give you more information.

There is nothing you can tell the kid about someone you never knew.

A person close to me had a child with a man she dated very briefly – but then didn’t acknowledge him (left off his name) on the birth certificate. (Basically a sperm donor – though he wasn’t pleased when he found out. He committed suicide shortly after the baby was born – so he never had a chance to even fight to see his son.)

Early on she swore us all to secrecy intending to never tell him about his origins.
She had never changed her last name after she divorced years previously (had not reverted to her maiden name) so she gave him her EX’s last name (which matched hers until she remarried – so I guess I see the logic).

Eventually as he aged he noticed that the ‘surrogate’ dads (including my husband) in his life were great..but that HE didn’t have a dad that stayed with him all the time. When it was time at school to write a nice letter to your dad, or a craft for Father’s Day…he felt the gaping hole and wanted to know where/who his dad is or was.

It took very little time for this mom to change her mind – I think maybe by Kindergarten or First Grade she told him who his dad was, that he was dead and took him to see the grave marker.
I’m not sure that she’s told him HOW he died or how upset (to this day) his family is that they don’t have a relationship with their sole grandson…but at least he has an answer when people ask about his dad. He can tell anyone who asks about his soon-to-be step-dad, his longtime dad figures and that his biological dad died.

One more bit to add (to this already lengthy) answer:

I had a dear friend who, in her mid-thirties, had pretty much given up hope she’d marry and have children. She researched and put a lot of time into arranging things for her to become a single mom. She definitely had all the resources – financially, health-wise, good income, a home with plenty of space and a nice yard…She looked into adoption but then really wanted the experience of pregnancy.

She also had an affair with a married man at this time (don’t judge – it was a weird situation), and when she broke things off she was very sad and uncertain about the future.
Just then another friend she socialized with became widowed. (She had been friends with both him and his wife. The wife died suddenly leaving behind two young children.)

They mutually mourned (each of their own loses) together and bonded as friends..and then ended up falling in love. She instantly became a mother to two young children, then they went on to have two MORE children together.
She was approaching 40 when she married. Her youngest is a toddler now as she approaches her mid-forties.

While she was pregnant with her first baby she and I mused together whether her husband would have been as accepting of a baby that she brought into the marriage that had been conceived by a sperm donor. We figured he would – but that might have been a deal breaker for other men who were looking for women without children to marry.

I say all this to ask:
If you have years of fertility ahead, if you still have a chance that you might have a family with a partner some day perhaps proceed with caution.

Do your research. There are a LOT of websites out there to support single moms who have made this decision. Read about their way of handling this and their responses to insensitive inquiries or how they told their child about his/her conception.

**Side note: These are real people but NOT me. I can’t know what they really thought or how their decisions have turned out for them.. You can only know so much from the outside, y’know?

I apologize for this answer not being exactly of the question, but I feel as if there is similarity between the two issues. I was adopted, but was told from the very beginning that I had been. It was never kept from me, and it was never an issue between my parents and myself. That’s why I feel as if there is similarity. It was not anything that was made an issue. I agree with @Earthbound_Misfit that the focus should be that you chose to have your child, and with @canidmajor that this will be normal life for your child.

I think I would chose someone who would’ve been willing to let the kid meet him in the future, or at the very least someone with a well research family line ,picture, and a history of his talents. I think unlike any other creature, we actually have a desire to know about our genetic make up. I would not have a kid from insemination if I felt I couldn’t deliver that sort of information to them.