Have you ever heard of a birthday party where the guests are expected to pay for their own meal and bring a present, or is it just that I have lack of experience living in this world?

That sounds like a load of crap to me. Most of the parties I go to are family, and the host always takes care of the food. I always ask what I can bring, and if the answer is nothing, I’ll still bring a snack or something that will go with the menu. Nothing huge or overwhelming, but just something that the family will like. It’s always appreciated. But to tell the guests your meal is on you. That doesn’t sound like I’m a guest.

I’ve done this with my friends on occasion, when we were going through financial issues. The birthday child would pay for dessert, maybe, or drinks – and the presents were usually small ones. It saved one person having to spend a big sum.

However, these “parties” were not what I would expect when formally invited to a birthday. It was more of a get-together. The situation you are describing does seem very unusual to me, yes.

I already think it’s weird that a seven-year-old is having a birthday party in a tavern!

Ballsy, I don’t think so. Honest is what I think it is, especially since it’s part of the invitation.
If she send a text later with the ‘clarification’ that would be tacky at least.

I’d say it certainly depends on that family’s financial situation – which is often none of our business. But if they felt flush enough that they could host the whole party maybe they would.
Maybe they would rather everyone do it that way, too. Or maybe in their experience the parties they have been invited to are pay-your-own affairs.

It’s their party and they’ll fee if they want to.

Sounds legit. It’s a 7 year old’s party.. not a wedding. Why should the parents of the birthday girl pay for every guest? Guests don’t have to go.

If they’re having financial problems, why not just have the party at home with cake and soft drinks?

Sounds pretty high living to me. But if I remember correctly, you’re in upper Westchester county, right? Apparently that’s par for the course in that neck of the woods so they’re figuring everyone is as flush as they are?

Those would be my best guesses from having been born and raised in L. I. and teaching for many years in Bklyn. So, in my mind,upper Westchester is kind of like another world, money-wise; differeny from the humbler one to which I’m accustomed.

Anyhow, that’s my two cents worth and if it were me, most likely not be attending. And depending how close the kids were, perhaps sending a card or a small token gift.

BTW: for many years I also worked part-time as a children’s party entertainer (face painting and balloon sculpture) and was sometimes hired for parties at a non-home event and the parents throwing the party footed the bill for everything. But most were at places like McDs, Chucky Cheese or Pizza places with modest food prices.

There was only one that was at a high end fancy place and the parents of the birthday child paid for everything and everyone. It was plain to see they were well-heeled and had money to burn. (and ironically also for a seven year old) and I thought it was pretty over the top and the kid seemed pretty overwhelmed.

What you describe in your Q sounds very sounds quite similar with the exception of the guests being expected to pay for their own meals.

But at least they’re letting you know well upfront. But I still think it’s kind of tacky. That’s my personal opinion.

I’ve never heard of it for a birthday party, but I attended a wedding that was set up like that (the only one, ever, that was like this). I felt very un-comfortable. If they couldn’t afford to put on a party, they shouldn’t have had any, or as many guests as they did, or they should have just served punch and a small cake.