Won't Western parents want their children to look after them?

The responsibility mentality is some kind of a “specialty” of the Eastern culture. It has existed for many centuries. For a society that values social hierarchy, that isn’t so surprising. But for a society that emphasizes inviduality like the West, the mindset doesn’t seem to apply. To the Westerners, everyone is an individual and needs to think independently. They don’t really care whether you are their child, soon enough you have to be on your own and they don’t need to depend on you either.

That said, anything taken to the extreme isn’t a good thing. Westerners may seem indifferent to their parents, but Asians may seem too dependent. A Western child is expected to have certain practical knowledge and soft skills, while an Asian one lacks of those things.

You ask: Won’t you want them to look after yourself when you need it the most? Why won’t you influence your children so they grow up feel indebt and responsible to their parents? That brings is to another question: do I love my child, or do I just want a free caretaker?

I think every system has its pros and cons like these 2 systems you described. It depends on the environment you have been raised. You will be more comfortable living in that fashion.

You’ll find so many asian children who have abandoned their parents after being raised in the environment you have described. What do you have to say about it? Both these are 2 extremes it would be great if we can find balance between the two. It totally depends on case by case basis though what does that balance mean to them.it will differ for every family.

Many westerners take care of their parents when they no longer can take care of themselves. The parents move into their adult child’s home, or sometimes move to be very close to where one if their children live. You don’t need to live with your parents when they are ages 45–65 to live with them when they are 65 or 75.

It’s true western culture tends to be less obligatory to the extended family and to parents, but we are not absent of it. We get a bad wrap that isn’t completely deserved. My MIL criticizes Americans for kicking their kids out of the house at 18, but my experience is Americans do no such thing. They send their children to college at 18, but some kids commute from home, and some kids start work instead of school, but very few are kicked out the day after high school. My SIL, the daughter of that same MIL, moved to a one bedroom apartment and basically gave her young adult children no way to move back if they needed to while they still were in college. I don’t have any American friends who did that.

Most countries that keep the children at home for years tended to be macho countries, where the parent had a lot of control, and the tradition was the kids stayed at home until they got married. That doesn’t fit with the expectations in many countries now, especially not for women, now that women have more autonomy over their lives. However, some cultures aren’t about maintaining control over the kids, but more about tradition, helping the children save money while living at home, and the child is given independence even while living at home. It also matters how big the home is. It’s hard to have 4 adults living in 1200 sq. ft. Living in 3000 sq ft is much easier.

It really depends on the particular family and the particular situation.

In this culture, children are not bred as servants. They are to enjoy their childhoods and experience their own adult lives. They also don’t owe their parents anything. My husband and I both helped our parents in their old age because we loved them.

Am hoping to sort of meet in the middle. Hope my kid grows up, branches out, gets a life of their own, and live an adult life without being dependent on their parents, just like my kid’s parents did. However, I hope that as long as we’re all alive we’ll be a part of each other’s lives, just as my kid’s parents did.

I would like to live in a family compound where each family has its own personal space but all are within stone throwing distance of each other.

I know I could not have lived with my father-in-law and my wife could not have lived with my mother so strife would have been the order of the day in either case.