How to really move on from my ex boyfriend?

#1. Stop all communicating with him, absolutely completely. Block his number, delete his emails without reading, don’t answer the phone.

#2. “Closure” doesn’t really exist, you need a clean break and distance from the relationship to get perspective. And keep reminding yourself of all the arguing and petty things you both have been doing.

#3 Don’t expect to end up “winning” or being “in the right”. You were both in the relationship, you both made mistakes. All you can do is end it as quickly and cleanly as possible.

All relationships end, even if they go until one person dies. So accept the fact you were in one that had promise but it did not work out, and be confident you will find someone when the time is right.

Good luck, welcome to Fluther, and cut off all communication with him right now. Don’t even say goodbye.

Yes @zenvelo is totally right. Run for your life! Should you decide to stay, understand that you will be in for a lot of trouble. You will end up supporting him financially too! Get out.

@zenvelo have some nice points, but there are a few things I need to point out:
– You know he has lots of issues but they’re not your responsibility. He’s a grown ass man (and a father too), he needs to be able to pull his own weight.

- Never allow yourself to buy something for someone just because the person who ask that is your significant other. He can take advantage of your kindness. If you must help him then offer to lend him your money to pay for his own needs and he needs to return it to you once has the money for it.

- there’s no need to feel insecure about your boyfriend. Not all women he talks to has romantic relationship with him. You can’t control who he wants to befriend, the same also applies for him. It’s wrong meddle with his friendship with other people, especially if you have no valid prood that he’s cheating on you, you will come off as accusing and embrassing him. There’s also no use to prevent that, if he really wants to do it there are many opportunity for him to do it behind you.

- Ask yourself, can can you see a future with this man? Throwing away your career and life opportunities for unprecedented love life will not be wise as it will haunt you sometime in the future.

- Infatuation will wear off. He’s not the only man in this world that can make you happy. There are other better men, go search them if you must, or they’ll find you at one point in your life.

- Forget about the phone you gave him. Learn from your lesson. Quickly dispose of him to start a new chapter in your life. And good luck.

I didn’t read all the details because it’s too long, but I just saw “I’m still paying for his phone bill.” FIrst, anything you are paying for, stop paying for it. Cut off any account you have in your name and be done with it. If he gets upset, which he will, who cares because your next move is you are going to dispose of him. He’s 3,000 miles away so let him be mad. Like @zenvelo said, cut him off totally. This should be something you do asap (today is Friday so it’s a good start to the weekend!). Block him from all social media, text, phone calls, etc.

Like others have said, drop the phone service if you are still paying. In fact, cancel the entire thing and then get a new number. He will still be able to find you if he tries but I doubt he will make the effort.

Drop your MySpace account for the same reason. If you are only checking the inbox very occasionally you don’t need it anyway. Block him if you don’t want to drop it.

Block him on every other social media you may still have and/or he may know about.

You will not be able to get anything out of him either monetarily or emotionally so just chalk it off as an expensive lesson in life. Actually, emotionally all you might get out of him is grief, pain, anguish and guilt and who needs more of that.

Get out and get on with your life with real people who are there with you. Spend time with friends, find a real boyfriend from people you physically associate with, not online.

Cut his phone off now! You are paying for him to talk to other girls. Block him from contacting you.
Most of all, stop being a door mat. Get your dignity and self worth back by surrounding yourself with positive people.

To summarize the good advice:
– Walk away; don’t run.
– Don’t complain; don’t explain.
– Stop paying anything to him (attention or space in your head) or for him (his phone or any other bills that he has).
– Don’t interfere with any of his other relationships; that’s on him to work out.

And finally, heal yourself and learn some lessons from this. You certainly do have some issues; you have a ton of them, as you have admitted. But there are deeper lessons for you to learn about your own self-worth, too, which I do not think you have even recognized yet. In addition, you knew that he had tendencies to want to stray from his “committed” relationships – and yet you went back to him. Twice. You need to learn some hard lessons there, too. I’m all in favor of giving people a second chance when it seems to be merited, but you can’t give unlimited “second chance” opportunities. And your own sense of honor and worth has to inform that.

You’re getting off easy! It’s going to cost you $500 to get out of the phone contract? Cancel the phone and close down your MySpace account.
This could have been way more expensive had you moved!
You were going to give him your financial aid money????
Yikes!

OK, here’s what you do.

Stop communicating with this loser who cheats on you and drinks to much and asks you to pay for his phone. Why on Earth were you going to give him your financial aid? He was just using you.

Cut the phone off your plan. Forget trying to put it in his name. He can do that if he wants to. Why are you still paying for him to communicate with other women? Just go to your provider and take that phone off your plan.

Every time you think about him fondly or with longing, deliberately think about some of the terrible things that he has done to you: cheating on you, starting back cheating on you with the same woman. yelling at you for contacting her and telling her the truth.

@alcanzox: It really makes no sense that you are paying for another person’s phone, especially a cheating man who is 3,000 miles away.

What every one else said. Plus thank your stars you’re thousands of miles apart, instead of in the same town.

I’d like to add one thing, you said, ”...made the choice to move out there and be the best girlfriend I could be.”
That, to me, was a flag that it appears you tend to take on the responsibility for other people’s happiness while sacrificing your own, that you take on the responsibility for a relationship working, to the point you sacrifice your own identity and are willing to do things you don’t want to do just to make someone happy.
That is not a good thing. People who are willing to do that tend to end up in abusive relationships, being stepped on and dismissed. They don’t love you. They use you for what you can do for them, and pretend like it’s love, because they can. It’s a miserable existence.

Do any other Jellies get that impression?

I wonder if this new jelly will ever even come back and read our sage wisdom?

@Judi oh trust me, I have and I really do appreciate it.
It’s just really hard when you’ve emotionally invested, but it is a learning experience and it’s really good to have all this input from all of you.
I just have to keep strong and realize to not cry that it’s over, but smiled because it happened. :)

Time heals all wounds.

Cry all you need to but don’t let him have any idea you’re crying. Never speak to him again

@alcanzox If you haven’t done it already,you must completely remove the phone account. He is still connected to you otherwise. And you are still hooked. I am sorry for all the pain and hurt he has caused. You take your power back and remove the phone account and give yourself a big pat on the back and a couple of “attaboys”!

@alcanzox: Please update us if you’d like to. Thank you! :)