What are you getting better at lately?
Asked by
janbb (
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October 6th, 2016
I realize as I look at my paintings from week to week that I am getting more skilled at getting the effects I want. I’ve also noticed that I am slowly getting less defensive about my shortcomings and less riled up by others – although I still resent being called a “dickface” two weeks ago!
What are you getting better at? Let’s share some lurve!
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50 Answers
Calming down during a panic attack.
Sleeping. I’ve struggled with insomnia most of my life, but lately I’ve been sleeping through the night, which is usually impossible. Hopefully, it will last.
I’m getting better a recognizing my attempts to control. I’m also getting a little better at trying to detach from situations in order to release my need to control. It’s very difficult. Control is baked into my molecules.
As we were hanging up after a conversation, my mother closed with “Find a good church and go to it tomorrow.” She’s 85. I’m 53. She’s still trying to control me.
As I said, it’s baked into my molecules. It is a topic of discussion at every single therapy session, and it has been for many years.
@tinyfaery We should talk. I need me some sleep!
@Hawaii_Jake This Mom is trying to let go of controlling behavior! I empathize!
Leaving things alone that aren’t mine to manage or control. That’s a really hard one, but Al-Anon helps. Controlling behavior comes in a hell of a lot of flavors, including “helping.”
Recognizing when I’m going off on someone unfairly. Stopping before it escalates. Likewise, recognizing withholding behavior, which is frequently how I respond to perceived offense.
Drawing portraits. I’ve been taking an art class for a year and a half and can see real improvement. I have a good teacher. Lately I’ve actually done a couple of things that please me.
Wow! I just set some boundaries with a guy friend. I am getting better at some things!
Being much less depressed but for no reason that I can figure out!
I seem to be getting much better at de-prioritizing stuff, and getting rid of it. Since I estranged myself from my mother a little over a year ago, I find the concept of getting rid of things, no matter how attached I once was, is much easier now.
Not acquiring more stuff is a piece of cake now.
@Jeruba Good for you! I had to some codependence work years ago after divorcing. Yes, “Helping is the sunny side of control.” That saying always stuck with me I am also quite wary these days of those that want to foist their “help” on me/others, as I have learned that usually this “help” carries a debt, gah..no thanks!.
I am getting really good at juggling 3 different work gigs. I am quite the bouncing ball these days. A rolling stone gathers no moss, but man, for as busy as I am I think my ass should be shrinking more. lol
@canidmajor been there, done that too, amazing how much I have detatched from stuff in the last 15 years. It feels good huh?
Swimming regularly (instead of just saying I’m going to go to the pool) and making serious improvements in my back stroke. Feels good while I’m doing it and feels good that I’m following through with it.
Pottery. Got a bunch of pots ready to be fired and a bunch more on the way including a vase that I am hand decorating I have high hopes for.
Having confidence in myself as a programmer and employee.
I feel like I’m actually getting worse at a lot of things. Maybe I’m just getting better at recognizing my own faults and flaws.
@RedDeerGuy1 please, teach me your ways. I just had a really bad episode today and the comedown is kicking me in the ass.
@AnonymousAccount8 I stay comfortable and have a selection of comfort foods available. I take a bath with the warm shower on in the dark with the fan on. I listen to radio in bed. Fluthering helps. I call 811, a free nurse in my area. I talk to my mom on the phone. The Parmacy said to sit comfortably and sip warm water . Watching the science and technology on tv. Name brand cola helps too. I am experimenting with grounding exercises. From puzzle peace counseling. Com
@AnonymousAccount8 When you have a panic attack:
1. Sit down.
2. Count 5 breaths. (In and then out is one breath.)
3. Answer this question: Where are your feet? Think specifically where your feet are. Say out loud where your feet are specifically.
4. Answer this question: What does the chair feel like on your butt? Describe the feeling specifically.
5. Answer this question: What does the chair feel like against your back? Describe the feeling with as much detail as you can.
6. Repeat.
The idea is to get grounded. A panic attack detaches us from our surroundings, and we get lost in our heads. Grounding gets us back into the present, and we can regain calm.
^ YES. Panic attacks run in my family, and even my young son experiences them sometimes. He runs through the five senses to ground himself.
Name…
Five things you can see
Four things you can feel
Three things you can hear
Two things you can smell
One thing you can taste.
@Seek My advisor just gave me a paper copy of that grounding exercise. I would rather have a hug, but I will give it a chance tonight if I need it.
My jobs. I finally feel 95% on top of the many varied responsibilities I now have in my two jobs. I think there will always be 5% more or less that will be a struggle.
@janbb “I still resent being called a “dickface” two weeks ago!”
You mean the nasty note on your car, after you’d done an iffy parking job? That story upset me, too.
What have I been getting better at lately? Gourmet vegan cooking. I started using Blue Apron eight months ago; some of the unusual ingredients and clever techniques have pulled me out of my old “comfort zone,” making me more adventurous. I’ve learned new things that I’m now incorporating into my own creations.
@Love_my_doggie Yes, that note. Luckily it hasn’t happened twice or I’d be checking myself in mirrors!
Okay @janbb allow me to call you a flat footed, beady eyed, beak face. There, a new insult to obsess on. lol ;-)
I’m getting good at procrastination.
Accepting that I don’t need to please everyone, every time. It doesn’t hit me as hard when I see people get upset when I don’t do the same thing they want. My secret: repeating this mantra: I am not anyone’s servant, I can’t please everybody.
I also realize that I’m getting better at dettaching myself from uncontrolable situation, especially when my parents become unreasonable again. I don’t argue, I just let them do the talking.
@RedDeerGuy1, @Hawaii_Jake, and @Seek: thanks for the suggestions, I’m looking forward to trying them out as soon as my next crisis invariably occurs.
I’m getting better at taking decisions by listening more to the head than heart by accessing current situation as a third party.
Putting things off and it is not a skill I am happy to be showing so much improvement in.
^^ i didn’t know that counts as a skill..)
Playing my ukulele, practicing with a couple of groups.
Coughing up phlegm. Two weeks of full-on practice.
Passing on questions that don’t particularly intere…oh shit ::slight regression::
Not letting my work stress me out quite as much…well, most days.
69… 0 days without buying something from the bakery. Lemon Meringue pie last night, but hey, I gave about half to my neighbors so it’s okay, right? lol
Sure @Coloma the half you gave away had no calories, at least not for you!
@Coloma It’s not okay in the least! It’s awful! You didn’t share with me.
@rojo,...Hey if you eat pie at midnight the calories don’t count because it is neither today or tomorrow yet. lol
@Hawaii_Jake I still have two huge slices left, I could fed-ex you one overnight express. haha
^^ you should share with all..)
^^ She’s sending it to me.
I guess this means I must buy more pies. lol
Coloma’s got pie! Party at Coloma’s house!
^^^ Would that be @Coloma‘s new house?
^^ what are you warming the pie with…~~??))
Pasting on a fake smile, in fact, I’ve got a drawer full of them.
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