What is the worst possible pun/joke you have ever heard of?

Did you hear about the guy that invented Lifesavers?
– they say he made a mint.

A ham and cheese sandwich walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Hey, we don’t serve food here.”

Why do chicken coops have two doors?
– Because if they had four they’d be chicken sedans.

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
Judge says, ‘First offender?’
She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

@Seek That last one isn’t suitable for a-minors!

What do you call a terrorist group made up entirely of Gorillas?
Boko Harambe.

Why was the scarecrow promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

Mickey Mouse to Divorce Judge: “Your Honor, I didn’t say Minnie was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy!”

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose!

Geez, some of these are bad enough for Christmas crackers.

Hey, @zenvelo, what do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

Oh! We can’t forget lightbulb jokes!

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
– Two, but it’s cramped.

How does an Essex girl turn on the light after sex?

She opens the car door.

How far can a frog go in water?

Knee-deep.

Have you seen Ejaculation Man?
He is coming.

What goes green green red green red red red?
A frog in a blender.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear

Two peanuts were jogging in the park. One was a salted.

What did the guy say when he walked into the bar? Ow!

A messy, twisted bit of twine walked into the bar.
Bartender says, “Ey, someone just called looking for a string. Are you a string?”
He says, “No, sir, I’m a frayed knot.”

What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall? Dam!

OK, @cookieman reminded me of something really silly I did once. I was in some bleacher’s standing up, looking for something in my purse. An AAA battery somehow fell out of my purse and on to the seat in front of me, next to a lady. She looked at it, I looked at it, then pulled out a little one serving thing of salt I also had in my purse and threw it on the battery…..Then I had to ‘splain the joke to her.

Q: Which object has four wheels and flies?
A: Garbage truck.