How does it feel growing up?

Why do people fear growing old and gaining life? I don’t think this is universally true. I’m not
afraid of aging. However, as you age, I think you become more conscious and aware of how fragile and precious life is. You form relationships with partners and have children and as you age, the time you have left with them decreases. We also experience more aches and pains as our bodies basically wear out. So for me, it’s not so much about the number (my age), as the knowledge that time is running short and I may not be able to achieve all I want to or to spend as much time with those I love as I’d like.

As to those people who never seem to mature, I don’t really know many people like this and I do think it’s something we grow out of. I see some young people who are totally disengaged from what’s happening in the world. They don’t watch the news, they don’t vote, they don’t care about anything but their pleasure and what they want to do. I don’t think this is the majority of young people, but I suspect these are the people who will still be partying and hanging out with younger mates when they’re in their 40s.

Life is life. I think it becomes more complicated as we have mortgages, children and jobs we can’t just leave. And not everyone does find their purpose. Some people don’t want to and others search all their lives. Whether people are relaxed depends on their personal circumstances, and circumstances change. Some people also learn to find their own forms of relaxation. They choose not to be on that mouse wheel or part of the rat race. That choice perhaps comes with the wisdom of age.

In my head, I am in my late 20s-early 30s. I’m not really there. That’s just how I feel mentally. Age happens to our bodies, not necessarily to our psyche. We may ‘grow up’ and behave more maturely, but our inner child is always there. So is that reckless teenager. We just don’t let them out so often. I love my inner child and I’m very childish! And I hope I will never lose that silly part of me.

“I always felt like the older you grow the better you become.” Bahahahahahahaha…haha…ha…[clears throat]. Sorry.

“I’m wondering why people are so afraid of growing older and gaining life.”
Because you are closer to death. Ok, death can come any time, regardless of your age. However, when you’re a kid, you don’t realise that. The biggest problem for the kid-you is losing your favourite marble, or whatever kids play today. Your biggest fear is breaking your neighbour’s window with football and the inevitable ass-whooping that comes after that. You don’t think about death, death is foreign to you.
However, as you get older, you become more aware of death. You understand it better, you get that it can come at any moment, and older you are, the chances of dying are bigger. You’re expiring. Soon enough, you’ll disappear. You won’t exist anymore.
That’s why people try to run away from it. It’s nothing new. The oldest written work ever, The epic of Gilgamesh, tells about man’s search for eternal life. When his friend died, Gilgamesh realised that he will die as well. He saw his friend’s body rotting and asked himself “Will I end up like this too?” He realised he has the same fate, and was trying to escape that, because he, like every other human ever, did not want to disappear. Death means you don’t exist, this world you see doesn’t exist, your friends, lover ones, they will all be gone, or rather, you will not be with them anymore. You will cease. You’ll not be the part of the world you’ve been all this time. That is terrifying, especially since you don’t know what happens after. People came up with a very consoling notion of the afterlife. Afterlife is like a pat in the back and “It’s not all that scary” talk, Afterlife or not, you will cease, and as you get older, that moment of cessation is slowly getting nearer and more and more possible.

“Also wondering when some people mentally and attitude haven’t change from when they were 21 years old to even 28 years old.”
The first thing that came to my mind is that seven years is not such a long time and doesn’t make a big difference. Then I remembered myself at 14 and…....yeah, it didn’t make much difference in my case. So, as someone who hasn’t changed in seven years, my answer is that some people simply don’t change. It just happens. Maybe the brain develops only for a certain time and then stops developing, and you get stuck at a certain level, even though your body gets older. Shit happens, bruh.
Fortunately, it happens only to some people. Some others do change, and they change a lot, and they change to better. God bless those lucky bastards.

That’s a nice way of looking at things, but I’m afraid you’re overlooking health.

The older you get, the more likely your body is to start having problems, and it is not fun or easy to deal with.

I just had surgery a couple weeks ago, I’m 24 and my body is already a mess. But even as I say that, I admit: within a few days of my major surgery, I was well enough to go to the bathroom without calling a nurse for help. This included bending down to unplug/plug my IV pole. I caught myself thinking, “God what a bitch this stuff is going to be once I’m old and have to worry about throwing out my back when I bend down.” As a young person, though I’ve just gone through surgery and my body is in pretty rough shape and it’s hard to do almost everything, I can still take for granted that doing a basic thing like bending over isn’t going to cause my body harm. Not something you can do as you age.

I don’t mean to be all doom and gloom; I love and appreciate the wisdom of my elders. This is certainly something you only gain with experience. But not everything gets better with age.

I loved my 40s and 50s. They were my best decades. Now, the body is beginning to break down.

I’m in my seventh decade. When I get old, I’ll let you know. Really. I am feeling mentally and spiritually (NOT religiously…) better than I have felt in my life. Marinelife…yah, got to agree…I could use a chassis rebuild and some new shocks.

But DAMN, otherwise, I am just not sure when I will grow up…I think I will just keep maturing..like a Grand Cru…

I have no idea what it feels like to grow up. Really, none at all unless I try to cast back and imagine some of the then-unrecognized turning points in my life and attempt to re-create “how I must have felt at the time”. Growing up is something that just seems to happen, I think, except for perhaps a few times in one’s life when one consciously determines to do something new. And I suppose that I’ve done that more than a few times, too – I must have! – but I really can’t recall now.

It’s like asking “What does it feel like to live for a year?” I don’t know; one just lives (if one is lucky) and then looks back and tries to recall (or forget) parts of the time.

I’m in the same boat as @abcbill – in the same decade and filled with the same feelings he describes.

And wondering what I will be when I finally grow up…

Finally, as regards some people’s ideas and attitudes not changing much between their 21st and 28th years, I have to laugh. Earlier this year I attended my high school class’ 45th Reunion. We were mostly 17–18 upon graduation, and now in our early 60s, married, divorced, widowed, parents and grandparents… and yet several of us remarked that evening that some things haven’t changed a bit. (But, damn, some of those people sure got old!)

@CWOTUS ’‘Finally, as regards some people’s ideas and attitudes not changing much between their 21st and 28th years, I have to laugh. Earlier this year I attended my high school class’ 45th Reunion. We were mostly 17–18 upon graduation, and now in our early 60s, married, divorced, widowed, parents and grandparents… and yet several of us remarked that evening that some things haven’t changed a bit. (But, damn, some of those people sure got old!)’’

woahh thats crazy !

thank you everyone for taking the time to share your thoughts