General Question

slack's avatar

Why do girls get mad at guys so much?

Asked by slack (4 points ) September 12th, 2008

this girl that is kinda my girlfriend is always getting mad at me for little things and its kinda dumb.

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34 Answers

poofandmook's avatar

Without details, we can’t really answer your question. What one person thinks is little could actually be a huge thing to someone else.

gailcalled's avatar

Maybe you’re too young to be dating?

gailcalled's avatar

Or maybe she is too young to be dating.

Judi's avatar

Some people have an expectation of exactly how a relationship should work and when those expectations are not met they get mad. Like galicalled said, it’s usually a sign of immaturity.

kevbo's avatar

I think we’ll find out when the results of the LHC experiment are published.

Nimis's avatar

She’s probably actually mad at you for something else. Ha.

JackAdams's avatar

In general, men bring this (female anger) on themselves.

I walked into the kitchen one time, and said to my wife (at that time), “Hi, Honey! Anything I can do to help?”

She threw a casserole dish at me.

I found out later on, that I should have entered the kitchen about an hour earlier, when my help was really needed.

I also found out that I should have been able to read her mind (from my home-office down the hallway), to know that my help was needed.

So, because I didn’t read her mind an hour earlier (and then immediately go to the kitchen to help her), it was all my fault that a casserole dish was hurled in my direction.

I added to the problem (and her anger) by saying, “Well, how about I take you out to dinner tonight?”

Men can’t win…

SuperMouse's avatar

@Jack, your post had a bang up beginning, then proceeded immediately downhill. Did you know she was cooking dinner at the time? Were you purposely hiding in the home office? Would you really have had to read her mind, or had she been asking for help preparing dinner regularly? I’m just saying…

By the way, in my world your offer of a dinner out would have broken the tension and I would have been in the car before you could say “Cheesecake Factory.” It would not have added to my anger. Casseroles freeze, that’s why God or was it Betty Crocker? invented them!

AstroChuck's avatar

Because we guys are pigs.
oink.

Mitsu_Neko's avatar

lol astrochuck

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

A lot of people have high expectations for how someone they’re in a relationship should act. This causes them to get angry. A lot.
There’s really nothing you can do about this except realize that this is going to happen and make the best out if it (meaning don’t get angry back, learn not to repeat these “little things” that you do to piss her off, and so on).
I’m curious as to why you referred to her as your ‘kinda’ girlfriend when in your profile it clearly states you’ve been with the same girl for 3 years.

Mitsu_Neko's avatar

maybe this is another girl he is kinda with??? maybe that is why she is upset

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

@mitsu, hahaha yeah maybe.

Mitsu_Neko's avatar

If I was the other woman I would be pissy…..jeez I get pissy when he hangs out with female friends and I am a full grown relativey mature woman

JackAdams's avatar

I found this article online. Perhaps it might help:

The Female Brain, Explained
By Laura Schaefer

Wouldn’t it be a relief to finally understand what is happening behind her pretty eyes? Why is it, for example, that the woman in your life is serene one moment, apocalyptic the next? How can she remember details about your life you don’t even recall? And what’s with her taking everything so personally? Chalk it up to female brain chemistry. Here’s how to tailor your courtship to her cortex, hippocampus, etc.

Pay attention to the little things

She’ll see shades of meaning in small gestures, because significant regions of the cortex — the outer layer of a brain that conducts much of its high-level computing — are thicker in the ladies. Therefore, an off-hand comment like, “I’d rather watch the game” might say more than you meant it to. Likewise, a small act of kindness (from a kiss on the cheek to simply calling ahead to make reservations) will blow her away because she’ll consider both the gesture and the thoughtfulness behind the gesture.

To keep up with her memory, take notes

It’s a scientific fact: Women remember everything. The hippocampus takes up a larger percent of the female brain than the male brain, which is good to know because it’s where memories are formed. So while you remember, maybe, the day you met, she’s recorded your first flirtation, first phone call, first date, first kiss, etc. Bottom line? There’s a reason the PDA and the Google calendar were invented: Use these electronic tools to keep up with her mighty hippocampus.

Follow her calm lead versus instigating bar fights

She’s much better at reining in her aggressive impulses than you are. Doctors at the University of Pennsylvania measured the size of the orbitofrontal cortex, an area of the brain involved in regulating emotions. They then compared it with the size of the amygdala, which creates emotional reactions to events. They discovered that female brains have a much larger orbitofrontal-to-amygdala ratio (OAR) than male brains do. That suggests women are better than guys at responding calmly to rudeness or aggression. “The orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) is the main ‘modulator’ of amygdala action,” explains researcher Ruben Gur. “So if you are at a party and someone insults you, the amygdala, which is a very primitive and old structure in human brains, will be yelling ‘Kill the guy!’ The OFC is the part of the brain that will say: ‘Consider the context; there are people around.’” Thus, if you want to impress her, quiet your own amygdala and behave as gracefully as she does.

Write her a poem or at least a cute email

“Women excel in something called verbal fluency, or being able to come up with appropriate words, given cues,” says Dr. Larry Cahill of the University of California at Irvine. In general, women’s brains are wired to be more language-centric than men’s. Researchers at McMaster University found that female brains have a greater density of neurons in parts of the temporal lobe cortex, which is the area of the brain associated with language processing and comprehension. This could help explain why women often know the right thing to say, send great cards and love notes, and choose words with such care. In wooing a love interest, it wouldn’t hurt to get the help of a trusted female friend. She’ll know just what to say.

Be her serotonin

Women’s brains produce significantly less serotonin — the brain chemical that helps make us happy — than male brains do. So if she has a tough day at work, treat to her to a transfusion: Try a pep talk, soothing back rub or long hug.

Laura Schaefer is the author of Man with Farm Seeks Woman with Tractor: The Best and Worst Personal Ads of All Time. For the other side of this story, read The Male Brain, Explained.

Nimis's avatar

Consider the context; there are people around.

This is where she logs onto Fluther and reads the ever ubiquitous advice Assassination is always an option.

MacBean's avatar

I’ve found that girls get mad at guys for pretty much the same reasons guys get mad at girls. People are annoying.

gailcalled's avatar

@Mac; that is cynical for one so young…are you serious?

aanuszek1's avatar

Three magical letters P – M – S

MacBean's avatar

@gail—I don’t mean all people are universally annoying, which is how it sounded, now that I’m looking at my answer again. What I meant was that I don’t think it’s more common for one gender to get irritated with the other. People annoy each other in general; it’s just what happens in life.

wildflower's avatar

Maybe she gets mad because you don’t explain yourself….

qualitycontrol's avatar

I’d be mad too if my boyfriend’s name was “slack”. Get a job, that will make her happy. Or even better, communicate more effectively, I felt like I was reading a headline for a newspaper article when I read your question: “Woman Angry, Man Fails to Compute”

Mitsu_Neko's avatar

QC: the fact he calls her his kinda girl doesn’t help

qualitycontrol's avatar

yeah, what is exactly is she then?

gailcalled's avatar

@slack; For starters, make sure you ignore aanuszek1’s less-than-helpful answer of PMS. No woman is “always” premenstrual.

JackAdams's avatar

While it is indeed true that no woman constantly has PMS, it is in fact true that a lot of women sometimes use that as a “victim card,” to engender sympathy and special treatment that they have not otherwise earned legitimately, and which they do not deserve.

Women, as wonderful as they are, are not above doing dishonest things, and we have prisons full of them, for that very reason.

sarapnsc's avatar

Where, when and how? Show me proof !!!!!!!!!!!

JackAdams's avatar

The proof can be found at the nearest state prison (from your location) where female inmates are housed.

sarapnsc's avatar

I don’t have time to go there, do they have mail order?

JackAdams's avatar

I think you misspelled the word “mail.”

gailcalled's avatar

Some men, ” ... are not above doing dishonest things,” either.

BBQsomeCows's avatar

guys are socially conditioned to not-share emotion.

a functional relationship, like marriage, requires this sharing

uh oh

kittykat's avatar

yeah excuse em wa!!i think it is you guys who always think that they can do whatever they want and think that it doesnt hurt the girls feelings!!!!well let me tell you something, it is not dumb, it is a proven fact that girls are nk more sensitive than guy and yet it is our fault!!!i think not!!girls(and boys)tell me your opinion

gailcalled's avatar

@kittykat: My opinion? What a garbled answer.

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