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krose1223's avatar

How do you motivate yourself? How do you pick yourself up when discouraged?

Asked by krose1223 (3244 points ) September 29th, 2008

I live in a world of chaos and there are not enough hours in the day to do everything I need to. I work full time, I’m a single mom, and I am one credit hour short of going to school full time. It may not sound like a lot, but it is. Sometimes I just get so discouraged and want to give up. I hate making anything less than a B in school, so when I make a C I get really down on myself. I know I’m doing the best I can, but it’s just so hard to study like I want and need to. I love school and I know if circumstances were better I would get the grades I want. It just gets really hard sometimes and it makes me want to give up because I am just not happy with myself. I know it’s part of life, but there are just so many things I wish I could fix. I wish I didn’t loose time with my son. I am so scared of missing out on things with him. Any pearls of wisdom, oh wise flutherians?

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11 Answers

PupnTaco's avatar

I’d get him involved in your daily routine as much as his age permits. He’ll see how hard you work for him.

krose1223's avatar

Yeah I usually read to him at night out of my textbooks. He doesn’t seem to interested though. lol He’s only 15 months and isn’t too much into the genetics I’m studying in basic biology. :-p

krose1223's avatar

geeze too* I always do that.

AstroChuck's avatar

My friend at work had motivation issues until he started listening to one of those subliminal self-motivation tapes. He told me, “These tapes are great! I’ve never felt better about myself. You’ve got to buy the whole set! You’ve got to buy the whole set!”
I ordered some and have been listening to them when I sleep for about a month now and I’ve got to tell you these tapes are great! I’ve never felt better about myself. You’ve got to buy the whole set! You’ve got to buy the whole set!

La_chica_gomela's avatar

awwww!!! so cute! it’s still good that you read to it him, even if it’s your bio book! my mom started reading to me when i was a baby, and she says i wanted to learn to read so badly I would open a book, look at the words, and just babble/babytalk before i even really learned how to talk. i did eventually learn to read (surprise surprise ) and it was long before i started school. i don’t think it’s a coincidence that i made a perfect score on the english part of the SAT (not to brag, oh wait i just did!) ;-) all i’m trying to say is reading really makes a difference! keep it up!

to TRY to answer your question, it REALLY REALLY REALLY does sound like a lot!!!

i go to school full-time, work part-time, and don’t have any children, and i feel SO overwhelmed most of the time. You should be applauded for finding time to read to your son, even if it is out of your textbooks! more power to you!

i don’t have any pearls of wisdom, i feel like you should be giving them to the rest of us. the only thing i can tell you is to try to take it one day at the time, don’t stress out over the small stuff, and keep in mind to just do the best you can.

one thing that helps me stay motivated and on top of things is i keep a day planner, and i try to write down what i need to get done each day, and then when i can check things off i feel good about myself, so i want to do more stuff so i can check off more stuff.

some of my friends also finding that taking one day of the week off (they don’t work on the sabbath) really helps them stay in touch with family, re-charge, re-energize etc, but i’ve never been able to do this. i just keep thinking about what work i should do, it makes me anxious. so that could go either way…

krose1223's avatar

@ la chica gomela- thank you. That was motivating. :) I really do need to start a day planner, that is one thing I haven’t done. It will be on my to-do-list. Tuesdays are my days off of both school and work, but I’m usually exhausted because I work graveyard on Monday’s. It does help though having that day. I usually just stay in my PJ’s at the house and try to take my son to the park or something. I’m just so ready to be finished with school, but that won’t be for a very looooooong time. Thanks for the advice and support! It means a lot.

cak's avatar

I wasn’t going through school with my children, but I was starting a business and doing a lot to get things going. I started with two huge projects and just thought I was the dumbest person on the planet for taking this one. I will say I’m married; however, he has a full-time job and is transitioning into a new position.

In addition to my regular work, raising kids and volunteer work..oh, the housework, too – I (up until about 2yrs ago…but will be starting this again, next year) work 2 weekends a month at a battered women’s shelter – it’s always something.

To find that time with your children (or child- especially a little one!) is hard!

Buy that day planner, PDA, calendar…something!!! The Tuesday you have, is a wonderful day to take that deep breath you deserve and to love and play with your little man. Make sure, though, you do relax (at least a little) that day. You are burning the candle at both ends, it’s so very important that you get rest or at least relax enough to let your body catch up with you.

Play with your son and continue to read to him…even your textbook! You never know, he may become a doctor or a very successful genetic researcher! ;) IF you can, take at least 30 mins – maybe in different time blocks and do nothing but focus on him. Sing to him, play with him, dance with him – something so that you know you are focusing only on him. When you are cooking, tell him what you are doing…just keep talking to him, just by doing that you are really teaching him how to communicate.

My son (he’s now 5) was little when I was really developing my business. I felt like I was cheating him and not taking enough time. He’s a loving, well-adjusted little boy and can probably do long-term strategic plans for a company better than I can!

My daughter is older, she’s 14. What she did was played sports, joined clubs and did her school work and hung out w/ neighborhood friends. I have worried that she suffered from the lack of my time, but she recently told me that she feels closer to me, now more than ever.

Oh…did I mention that the last two years I’ve been in the hospital, more than out? I’ve been dealing with cancer – so even less time with the kids! However, during that time and as it continues. I’ve learned to slow down…because I can now. For you, that time will come. Right now, time is tight, so make the best of it!

You are doing a great job and please, please don’t give up! It’s hard, very hard, at times, but you are doing a wonderful job and just by reaching out like this, it speaks volumes of your character! I am certain you are a great mom and your son loves you very much. You are doing this for him and you.

Don’t forget to take 5 minutes for yourself, here and there. That is just as important as taking time for your son.

You will be fine and are doing great! I’m wishing you the best!! :)

deaddolly's avatar

it sounds like you need some ‘me time’. to re-focus.
you’ll be no good to anyone if you burn yourself out. Continue reading to your son…or go on a long walk with him. try to trim something out of your schedule that you can put off for a few weeks.
When things get to me…i put what I can on hold (wash, cleaning) and just take a breather for as long as I can.

Darwin's avatar

One thing I do is deliberately seek out something good out of every day. It might be something small, such as the way the lilies look in the front garden when the sun shines on them, or something bigger, such as doing something that makes my son say he loves me, but there is always something every day.

Some folks go on and keep a diary of the good things so they can go back and review them when they feel down. I don’t bother writing them down, but I do try to remember them each night before I go to sleep.

And don’t forget, when your son is napping do something for yourself!

flameboi's avatar

I check my timepiece, always works…

Knotmyday's avatar

trollops and whiskey

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