General Question

girlofscience's avatar

Would you sleep with someone to advance your career? Why or why not?

Asked by girlofscience (7449 points ) October 9th, 2008

Obviously, there are so many variables here, so I’ll try to make this hypothetical situation more tangible:

You’re single, as is the person propositioning you.

Neither one of you is interested in the other romantically.

This would be a one-time thing.

The person propositioning you can guarantee you the promotion / raise / grant / prestigious position.

The advancement at hand is a large career booster.

The person propositioning you is reasonably attractive, but significantly older.

P.S. – I am not in this situation at all! I am just interested in your answers.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

46 Answers

nikipedia's avatar

More importantly, what would @girlofscience do? And what would my idealized version of @girlofscience do?

tinyfaery's avatar

Depends on who it is? Maybe he/she could be the cherry on top.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

No. Definitely not. I don’t tend to feel comfortable having sex with someone I don’t love. And besides that I want to get promoted because I deserve it, not because I’m good in bed.

cookieman's avatar

I really want to say no. But given the guidelines as you’ve laid them out, it’d be awefully tempting.

arnbev959's avatar

I would. I don’t see much of a problem with it. Maybe it would be an undeserved promotion, but I think I’d be able to convince myself that I’ve worked hard and that it’s about time I got a promotion anyway.

My answer would change if one of the variables mentioned in the question concerned another person who would be more qualified for the position, but who wouldn’t get it if I were to.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

No, I wouldn’t. Same reasons La chica mentioned. If I get an advance, in any way, it will be because I earned it, not because all I had to do was spread my legs. It’s easy (pun totally intended), but how could you possibly be proud of your so-called “achievement”?

marinelife's avatar

No, because you would forever after know why you got the job/raise/what have you.

Also, someone else would find out and it would get all over the company and your peers and underlings would think you were a slut.

Third, the person you slept with would not respect you even if it was their idea.

Finally, hitching your wagon to such an unprincipled person’s star would undoubtedly come back to bite you in the ass at some point.

augustlan's avatar

What Marina said.

megalongcat's avatar

Sure, the body is another means of monetary goods anyway. Humans have traded their bodies for goods since the dawn of time, it’s nothing really new.

augustlan's avatar

I would actually sleep with someone for money before I’d sleep with them for a promotion. Sex for money is a “pure” transaction. The money is earned, the promotion would not be.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

I agree with augustlan.

susanc's avatar

I would absolutely do it. At my age, it’s the only way I’ll ever get to sleep with anybody again. And I get a promotion into the bargain? Absolutely.

AstroChuck's avatar

Under the conditions you listed, absolutely. Any male poster who claims otherwise is lying through his teeth. We men are pigs. And that’s just the way it is.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

AstroChuck seems to have forgotten that he’s 12.
;-)

AstroChuck's avatar

Just being honest. Age isn’t relevant.
By the way, I do have scruples. As a married man I would never do that.

SuperMouse's avatar

Without bringing morals in to this, I would worry that it might not turn out well. I mean what if he is horrible, grosses you out, and you have to fake it? What if he thinks you are horrible and decides to demote you instead? What if, as Marina mentioned, he brags about his conquest and your officemates see you as an unprincipled slut who slept her way to the top.

Way back when I was working in corporate America I was promoted rather quickly to work as an executive VP’s personal assistant. I did NOT sleep with him (or do anything else untoward) to get the promotion, but because of the speed with which it happened, the rumor mill ran amuck. As long as I worked at that company there were those who believed I jumped in the sack to get that promotion. It was an uncomfortable feeling, but since I knew it wasn’t true I was able to ignore them. If I had actually slept with him I’m sure I would have been bright pink, nervous, and defensive in their presence.

waterskier2007's avatar

i think astrochuck is absolutely right. any guy can come on here and say he wouldn’t but that is a complete lie and we all know we wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to kill 2 birds with one stone, getting laid and a job promotion (etc.) is always a great thing

syz's avatar

No. If advancement depended on sexual favors rather than being based on my skills and work ethic, not only would I not have sex with the person, I’d quit and go somewhere else.

jca's avatar

if the person were attractive and i had a guarantee there’d be no more advances or propositions, i’d consider it. if he were repulsive, dirty, whatever, no way. i’d need a guarantee i would get the promotion. i know there’s no way to guarantee the promotion in reality, and no way to guarantee there’d be no more advances, but this is hypothetical.

jca's avatar

p.s. the boss would have to be a man, as i am a woman. that’s just my other qualification for this to happen.

susanc's avatar

Well the classic way to get away with this is to say you were in love, and make a lot of
uproar about how s/he told you s/he loved you and wanted to marry you but then reneged.
Be the victim!!! Everyone loves a victim!!!

krose1223's avatar

No I wouldn’t. The thought might cross my mind but I couldn’t live with myself. That would have to be a lie I lived for the rest of my life because I wouldn’t ever want anyone to know. I don’t ever want to have to lie about something that big. It would be too hard on me, and I wouldn’t trust the guy. Who’s to say he wouldn’t go blab to everyone then I’d lose my job just as soon as I got the promotion.

mea05key's avatar

Hahahha. Its humiliting if people found out that u use such a despicable way to advance in your career. I believe once its exposed, you will be a clown to everyone that knows about it. AND that is the furthest you can get in ur career. So no i wouldnt take the chance at least for now.

babygalll's avatar

No. If you have to sleep with someone to get a job then you obviously are not fit for the job. Wouldn’t you want to get a job because you know your work. If you know you are good in bed…why do you have to prove it your boss just to get up there?

stratman37's avatar

It’s better to not have honors and deserve them, that to have honors you don’t deserve.

Mark Twain

augustlan's avatar

I knew there was a reason I liked Mark Twain!

girlofscience's avatar

I just think it is funny that some people are evaluating this by saying “what if the girl is bad in bed”... I really don’t know any way that a girl could be so bad in bed that it would be such a problem she would be demoted. My boyfriend once dated a girl who was a “bad in bed” as a girl can be, but she was still a nice girl, and he didn’t hate having sex with her.

googlybear's avatar

Only if shaved…I hate hairballs…

maybe_KB's avatar

Give me my dream job
A blindfold
And some incense

PredatorGanazX's avatar

A difinite NO NO .

What ever reason that is sleeping with someone need to be a mutual consent and at no circumstances otherwise.

maio's avatar

no quite…unless i was single, and the guy was really attractive to me, and we had a type of relationship.

ekglad's avatar

totally. it would be benefical.

Johnny_Rambo's avatar

If Catherine Zeta Jones were my boss, she could give me a paycut in return for a roll in the hay.

Poor But Happy

jackfright's avatar

no, i can’t do older women for some reason. some sort of mental block i haven’t had time to delve into.

otherwise, yes, so long as i know the person well enough to know she’s not the sort to blackmail others.

craig_holm's avatar

Not unless my boss is my wife.
...whoa! What a coincidence!

jenna's avatar

If I was single, and he was single, why the hell not?! You’ve gotta look out for number one :D

mamabeverley's avatar

If I knew I was qualified for the job and the only way I could get it was under these guidelines, then hell yes! Way back in the day, my mom was a claims adjuster, she was the first female claims adjuster in her area. To get back at her, her male manager made the climb ladders in a skirt and heels! She had to walk on a roof in heels! By way back, I mean 1982 for all of you young ones out there! Of course, she bought “frilly ruffled panties” so when the contractors looked up her skirt, they could get a thrill. It was not too long after the frilly panties made the rumor mill and her boss let her wear pants. It took all the fun out of it for them, I guess.

Horus515's avatar

Oh definitely! It’s a recession people! We have to make sacrifices! We all have to tighten our belts! Or in this case, loosen them a bit…

FreddieMack's avatar

No because it is unfair to other employees. Also, if you boss gave you a raise because you had sex with him/her, that is very unethical for their workplace.

avalmez's avatar

In general, i agree it would be as wrong as pay-for-sex is wrong. But when you consider the situation more generally, it’s a question of compromising in order to gain.

Many of us have been in situations where if we would just be willing to compromise ourselves in someway, we’d get that elusive promotion or much needed raise.

I’m sure there have been times in all our lives when we viewed a certain compromise as more of a peccadillo than a sin. And, other times when a compromise was too close to how we define ourselves to allow us to easily commit the compromise.

This latter case is unique and personal to each of us. Suppose the compromise wasn’t to have sex or something clearly wrong or immoral, but a compromise that in some way “violates” who you are? i bet you can think of someone you know that abandoned themself for gain. sorry, just food for thought…

Gossamer's avatar

yes I would because I am still unemployed

cornbird's avatar

I would not. Sleeping with someone for a promotion is a violation of your self worth. You should not have to sleep with someone just to get a promotion. You would feel much better if you worked for it. Besides that I think the person would always hold that as a blackmail on you. It could fire back in your face.

Response moderated
Exhausted's avatar

No, I would not. In the scenerio you described, the promotion is a carrot dangling in front of you to get you to give them something they want. You have no way of knowing if the person will give you what you desire. You will get a lot more satisfaction if you acquire the status with your own efforts. If you are qualified you will get there eventually. If you take this short cut, get the promotion and you are not really qualified, you will not be able to maintian the position and it will eventually come crashing down anyway. Trust me, you will feel much better about yourself if you know you EARNED the promotion with the quality of your work. You will be secure in your position and know you can maintain it because you have a right to be there.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther