General Question

girlofscience's avatar

Lunchtime Poll: You win five million dollars from the Publisher's sweepstakes, and the same day as that big Ed guy gives you the check, aliens land on the Earth and say they're going to blow up the world in two days. What are you gonna do with the money?

Asked by girlofscience (7434 points ) October 17th, 2008

Some answers:

1. “That’s easy. I just slide that wad over to my father, ‘cause he is like one of the top brokers in the state.”

2. “If I got that money, I’d give it all to the homeless…every cent.”

3. “I’d go to Egypt… With a girl.”

4. “I’d use the money for an end-of-the-world get together.”

5. “I’d pay Madonna a million bucks to have her sit on my face and have her ride it like the Kentucky Derby. She should pay me, though.”

6. “That’s gotta be the most spooky-ass question I ever heard.”

7. “All right, this is important. After taxes is just the beginning, and then there’s social security, legal fees…”

8. “You go to the zoo and you get a lion. And then you put a remote control bomb up its butt and push the button on the bomb, and you and the lion die like one.”

9. “Whaaaaat?”

What would you do?

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42 Answers

Allie's avatar

Try to bribe the aliens with this really special thing called money. I wouldn’t mention how our economy sucks though, that makes it less valuable.

=)

flameboi's avatar

Easy, I’d go to Italy, buy a ferrari and lots of armani and prada stuff, have a nice ride in the mediterranean coast, obviously with some company, and my friends… I’d enjoy as much as possible :)

girlofscience's avatar

@flameboi: You would want Armani and Prada things for 2 days?

flameboi's avatar

@GoS
Actually, I guess I’d wear what I already have, but a new suit never hurts :)

girlofscience's avatar

@flameboi: But what good would that do if you only had 2 days to use it? Why not spend the money on experiences rather than goods?

skabeep's avatar

I would trade it in for pennies and swim in it

EnzoX24's avatar

Finally be able to fund my Death Ray and take over the Earth before those green sonsabitches have a chance.

judochop's avatar

I would buy a custom chopper and outfit it like madmax. Ride it naked to the mountains and fund a huge top secret naked society guarded by Enzos death ray.

scamp's avatar

I wouldn’t do anything. Everyone knows it would take more than two days for a check that big to clear the bank. Is this a trick question?

wundayatta's avatar

Serious answer: I try to find a way to do what I can to help negotiate with these silly aliens. Maybe using the money as a way to grease my access to the serious negotiators. Either that, or I use the money to bribe my way into the alien’s presence, so I can talk to them, and explain to them how there are a whole lot of better things they could do with earth than blow it up.

Silly answer: Well duh. Like I get out my secret translation station, and translate to the oh why not Armani sector, where I recruit the Lamborghinans to come as drive these aliens off the planet.

Realistic answer: I probably hang out with my wife and kids, and we all hold each other, hoping for the best.

nocountry2's avatar

In the grand scheme of things, 5 mil is not that much money, at least not enough to negotiate with. Therefore, I would rent out a bad-ass fully stocked mansion in Bora-Bora and fly every last one of my family and friends and their families out so we could ride things out together in style and relaxation.

Grim's avatar

buy a panda, find the best chef in the world, have him make me a panda burger.

judochop's avatar

oh Grim. That is indeed grim. I’m making my oh no face.

Grim's avatar

I only have an oh yes face… :D

Grim's avatar

Oh and I guess I would buy another panda to ride around on while eating my burger. actually as many pandas as I can get my hands on… I mean seriously… who doesn’t love pandas?

galileogirl's avatar

BUY ICE CREAM

robmandu's avatar

@grim, does it look anything like this?

flameboi's avatar

@GoS
5 million is a lot of money, I’m sure is not going to hurt my budget if I use, let’s say, mmm… $10.000 in a few nice things just for the pleasure to posses them, in the end everything resumes to pleasure, pure pleasure

Malakai's avatar

I don’t think $5 million (and a check, no less) is really going to be that valuable in the scenario you’ve given.

I doubt commercial airliners would be flying to vacation spots in the Pacific… Would shops even be open? Who the hell would go to work if they only had two days left to live?
It would be pure chaos.

Malakai's avatar

BUT I would spend the monies on weapons and supplies with which to fight the advancing alien hordes.

GAMBIT's avatar

I Guess the family is going to Arbys.

Les's avatar

Forget the money! I’d grab my towel and hitch a ride on the next Vogon spaceship I came across.

bodyhead's avatar

I would immediately buy a bomb shelter and outfit it with as many books and entertainment possible. Of course I’d take care of the necessities such as food and fuel for the shelter. I’d get air purifiers and as many green energy manuals as possible.

Then, I would run out and buy as much ammunition and guns as the government would let me buy.

The only thing left to do after that would be to grab everyone who hasn’t pissed me off and bring them down in the shelter with me. There would be plenty of room for four of us and a dog.

Anyway, you understand where I’m heading with this. I would let the world burn up (or save itself without my help), while I sit in my shelter happily reading my books.

fireside's avatar

Usually the banks would front you at least $100, but if they knew the world would end too they might not be so keen on cashing in that deposit.

Zaku's avatar

Yeah, unless the aliens only tell you their plans, good luck finding people clerking at Prada or Ferrari or Arby’s or wherever. I’d tend to assume we were all being messed with, and try to get with the people I care most about, watch other people freak out in funny ways, network to figure out what’s really going on, etc.

bodyhead's avatar

Of course, with my luck, if I did win 5 million dollars I would definitely die two days later.

saranwrapper's avatar

Hookers and blow!

deaddolly's avatar

i’d grab my family, animals and friends and go back to Hawaii to die in paradise, surrounded by those i love.

jamjar's avatar

I’d round up all my friends, buy as many weapons as possible with the money I had, and try my damn best to take down those alien mofos. I’d probably try and recruite Will Smith for a helping hand.

aidje's avatar

@jamjar
Will Smith is handy in an apocalyptic pinch.

Lazario's avatar

Probably pay a lot of people a lot of money to have a lot of sex with me. Or just eat a lot of food and watch a lot of TV. Good stuff, too. Or just go shopping at a lot of cool places. Or buy guns and go shoot a lot of Republicans. Or… wait, the aliens would tell everyone they’re going to blow up the world, right? In that case, I think money would have no meaning to everyone else. There would be complete chaos. And looting! In that case, I would just steal from a lot of Republicans.

steelmarket's avatar

That’s it, @jam ! I’d buy the space shuttle (NASA would be having a fire sale), ride it up to the mothership, and upload a virus to them ! No, wait – I’d give each alien an iPod and a $10,000 in iTunes money. All the time that it would take for them to download the tunes and listen to them, that would give John McClane time to get up there and take ‘em out.

Ort's avatar

@Malakai is right, if the aliens really meant business and the world believed their threat was true and Keanu Reeves wasn’t around to convince them otherwise, money would soon have no value as nobody would want to work. What good is money to dead people?. Everything would be chaos and gridlock and probably everything would be free or Burningman style favor economy. Lots of big public street parties, people trying “crazy” things (public orgies, violence, funny stunts) and lots of people praying that it was all just a hypothetical posting on Fluther…

DREW_R's avatar

Buy arms and start killing aliens.

digitaldogs's avatar

I’d buy my own island in the South Pacific and build an underground bunker to evade the aliens if they attacked.

firefight's avatar

An ax to break down the door to the roof my apartment building where I would spend the next two days listening to the radio, meditating, getting high, and having sex. What fool would be silly enough to sit in any store and collect money from people in the last two days of all earthly existence?

jamcanfi74's avatar

First thing I would do is go to Ireland and see the whole flipping place from north to south and not miss a thing. Then I would come back go to LA and find Colin Farrell and well…. I don’t know what I would do after that, I think thats going to take up my whole time.

Dr_Dredd's avatar

Buy Marvin the Martian’s Illudium P-36 Space Modulator.

OneBadApple's avatar

Well, since “Big Ed” McMahon has been dead for maybe 4 years, I’d offer him half the money to tell me how to get back from…...you know…..there…

(I’ll worry about where the hell I’m going to live later)

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