General Question

The_Inquisitor's avatar

If you know something is bothering a friend of yours, what should be done?

Asked by The_Inquisitor (3149 points ) October 21st, 2008

Something troubling is bothering someone you know, like a close friend or a sibling. They don’t really wanna talk about it, or end up changing the subject… should I just get them to stop beating around the bush, and ask what’s wrong? or wait for them to feel comfortable enough to tell me?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

8 Answers

Mtl_zack's avatar

ask them whats wrong, and if they dont wanna talk about it, dont force it out of their mouths. if its really depressing them, do little acts of kindness for them, like buy them a bag of candy, or treat them to lunch, etc… some people would rather if people dont meddle in their business, and it could end badly.

marinelife's avatar

Sometimes people need someone just to listen. Be there for them, but don’t press them. If they start to talk about it, just listen. Really listen.

Don’t offer advice unloess they ask for it.

shadling21's avatar

I agree with the two above. Just think about a time you were in their shoes. What would have helped you then?

augustlan's avatar

I think it depends on the friend in question, and how well you know that person. In most cases, I agree with the first two answers. On the other hand, I have a friend who will never volunteer what is wrong, and will stew in it…letting it eat her alive. From years of past experience I know that once she talks about it and gets it off her chest, she feels much better. For this friend, I will give her a little time, and then basically drag it out of her. She is always grateful after I do.

deaddolly's avatar

Let them know you sense something’s wrong and that when they’re ready; you’ll be there to listen and help if you can.

Mexicanamerican's avatar

I also agree with the first two answers.

Allie's avatar

Ask them what’s up, but if they consistently say that they don’t want to talk about it and you try to force them to they might get fed up and frustrated and end up mad at you, which is definitely not what you want. If you ask a few times and they give in, then cool. If you pester them and they start to get peeved, just back off. Just remind them that you’re there for them and that if they want to talk that you’re ready to listen.

scamp's avatar

Just tell you friend that you notice something seems to be bothering him/her. Tell him/her that you care and want to help. Offer to be there for your friend, but let them know that you don’t mean to pry into their private affairs.

Just say something like this: ” I noticed you seem to be troubled about something. I don’t mean to pry, but if you want to talk, I am here for you. If you don’t want to talk, I am still here for you and want to help you feel better. What can I do for you? We can just hang out quietly if you want, but if there is something I can do for you just say the word, and I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

Then give your friend the space he/she needs to decide whether or not to confide in you. Even if he/she doesn’t accept your offer, they will appreciate the offer, and your friendship. You are a very good friend for wanting to help!

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther