General Question

MicaDirtCat's avatar

Do you seem to have long term relationships, sexual and plutonic, or lots of short term ones?

Asked by MicaDirtCat (297 points ) October 24th, 2008

Either way- do you feel satisfied with your decisions or do you feel the decisions were made more by the other person?

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39 Answers

shadling21's avatar

Far too many short term ones. No long term ones.

I don’t think I’m relationship material. I’m always dissatisfied with my own decisions. Even when the other person was at fault, I recognize that there is a part of me that just can’t commit.

EDIT: “Platonic” is a great word. It describes how most of my relationships turn out – I still consider my platonic partners to be very significant in my life.

asmonet's avatar

I love the long haul. :)

jrpowell's avatar

I trend towards longer relationships. I was with my first serious girlfriend for about two years. I was 17 at the time. Most of mine last for about a year to a few years. But I don’t consider “she is cute a relationship.”

MicaDirtCat's avatar

Ha! I actually consider myself a pretty well grammer spoker and a not whorable speller but I found the whiskey telling me to sound out “platonic” and my brain responded with pluto- onic. Awesome, Mica, awesome.

asmonet's avatar

Whorable. * snort *

El_Cadejo's avatar

Long term. Today marks wo and a half years with my wonderful girlfriend Trance24 ^_^

whorable=(my new favorite word)

asmonet's avatar

@uberbatman: Congratulations! Maybe you two can find a bat suit without nipples and…

Ok, I’m going to bed. It’s almost 5am and I’m fluthering for the sake of fluthering. This is pathetic.

laureth's avatar

Buy, even plutonic relationships seem like they would be quite long term! ;)
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/plutonic

That said, I used to be a specialist in the almost-two-year or almost-two-month relationsip. It was either-or… if it got past about 7 weeks, it would go almost a couple years.

Then I got married, and I hope to keep this guy for the rest of my life, and I aim to live past two years more, so… that would be long term. It’s new for me, but I like it!

deaddolly's avatar

haven’t had any relationships in over 19 years….don’t miss them either!

cdwccrn's avatar

long term and few.

GAMBIT's avatar

Long term with my wife and kids.

girlofscience's avatar

Long term, nowadays. When I was a teenager, I had short fling after short fling, and I liked it that way. I wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship.

Then, I met my first real boyfriend and changed my mind. I dated him from 17–19.

After we broke up, I abstained from any type of dating for about a year.

Now, I’m dating my second serious boyfriend, and we’ve been together for two years.

flameboi's avatar

I’m not material for a long term relationship, actually I’d been with my gf for almost 4 months (that’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had) We’d been apart for 3 months though, anyway, can’t complain, things are working…
For my past relationships, I always get kicked out because I’m… just kind of, well, distant, I’m the one that never calls, doesn’t like to party and prefers a nice dinner, or drinks and loves his friends, and likes to stay home watching mtv and loves to read and cook, and of course the fact that I don’t see marriage as an option in my life and girls oh girls just wanna have fun :)
I don’t mean I’m boring, but when girls thing that I’m material for marriage and I tell them “Hey, I’m not getting married, not even if my life depends on it” they just kick me out, my relationships had been “fast and furious” lol

forestGeek's avatar

I have had long term relationships, with a few short ones in between. I definitely prefer long, but I have learned so much from even the shortest.

jessturtle23's avatar

I have long relationships. My bf now I have been with exclusively for 3 and a half years, been dating him for about a year and a half before that and been best friends with him for 10 years. I’m satisfied and if I’m not satisfied in a relationship I’m pretty good at just being done with it. No drama.

lapilofu's avatar

I have a history of long term romantic relationships. I’m not sure I like it that way. I keep trying to keep things casual for a while, but I keep falling into one thing or another.

wundayatta's avatar

Been together 20 years, married 17 of them. Only fucked up once.

girlofscience's avatar

@daloon: Fucked up how?

susanc's avatar

I had a long series of 2 1/2 year gigs and then noticed the arc of those stories was always exactly the same regardless of the person. It got depressing. I got curious about what would happen in the 8th year, the 12th year, the 17th year. Only one way to find out….

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Long term, here. Just got out of a five year relationship and I can’t see myself getting into another one any time soon.

wundayatta's avatar

@GoS, in the way you’d probably expect.

girlofscience's avatar

@daloon: Uh oh, how’d the wife take that?

wundayatta's avatar

@GoS, to say she wasn’t happy would be the proverbial understatement; however she does believe there were extenuating circumstances—I was not the only one withdrawing. Also, due to other mental health issues, I was not making decisions in an optimal way. Finally, I didn’t feel I had a right to ask for anything more. Sigh, it makes me sad to think about this, because I still don’t feel as good about myself as probably I ought to (i.e. worthless piece of shit – now can I let that thought go merrily on it’s way?)

El_Cadejo's avatar

<hugs daloon> your not worthless :)

flameboi's avatar

daloon, we all have the right to make mistakes, we are not perfect

augustlan's avatar

As a teenager, always fast, furious and fun! Then I was married for 17 years, got divorced and thought I’d date again…nope. Fell in love with the first guy and married him 3 years ago. I guess it’s my nature, now. My friendships are long and few. Just the way I like them.

hearkat's avatar

My romantic relationships are long term… I did once have a “friend with benefits” and that went on for nearly a year.

My platonic friendships are also long term… two of my bffs were in my 1st grade class with me – that’s 36 years! And my other bff I’ve known for 26 years.

chicadelplaya's avatar

It’s interesting. In my teens and most of my twenties I stayed in long term relationships (3 total). Now in my thirties, they just seem to get shorter and shorter AND with less “quality” men. Kind of bums me out, honestly. I would love to find someone I have an awesome connection with and settle down. Sometimes I wonder if that will ever happen. I also wonder if I’m really just afraid of commitment. Hell, I don’t know…

MissAnthrope's avatar

I tend to be single most of the time, punctuated with short relaionships, dating, flings, whatever. Then, every so many years or so, I’ll have a long-term one. I’ll be 32 next month and to date, I’ve had 2 or 3 long-term relationships (depending on whether you consider 6 months to be long-term).

I have no idea why this is. I think I’m a fairly awesome person and definitely a good catch.. it’s not like I’m not relationship material or anything. It sucks, mainly because I am one who likes to settle down and go the long haul.

fireside's avatar

I’m pretty much the same way, Alena.

I’m 33 now and chased away a lot of good women that wanted relationships while I was just having fun. Now that I am interested in building a solid long term relationship, the only women I seem to find are not interested.

I just figured it was a guy thing, but now that excuse is no longer valid.

MissAnthrope's avatar

It’s not even like I’ve turned down a lot of relationships, though. Sadly, not many romantic opportunities seem to arise in my life. It’s probably something about me, as other people seem to have little problem weaving their way in and out of various relationships. I just haven’t figured out what it is yet.

chicadelplaya's avatar

@alenad- I seem to be experiencing the same thing. My friends tell me when I get to a truly comfortable, happy space in my life (going through a long transition period right now), then I will attract and draw in that someone really special. Make sense to me. I think people are attracted to truly confident, happy people. I’m just speaking for myself, of course.

oceansmist's avatar

Long-term…even when I was a young teen and I have no regrets about any of the relationships I had. I was never one for short flings or one-night-stands. I always wanted more substance out of a relationship and I felt I could only truly know the “real” person over a longer period of time. Anyone can be great for a few dates but they also tend to mask their true personality and quirks and for me, I want to know the good and irritating qualities of a person. How else will I know if the relationship will really work and that we’re really compatible?

TaoSan's avatar

a veeeeery long relationship that unfortunately turned semi-platonic :)

ronski's avatar

I am in my first real long-term relationship for almost 4 yrs now and I love it and I love my boyfriend. I only had short-term relationships before that were pretty unhealthy.

It is strange, because I have some friends that seem to be constantly getting into long-term relationships that last for long periods of time. They never seem single! And I have other friends that never seem to be in long term relationships, and only have short flings that fall apart. I wonder if this is because they are confused about what to look for in a mate.

What I realized is that my friends who stay in longer relationships look for the same things in a mate that they would look for in a friend, and my friends who don’t stay in longer relationships don’t do that. They often settle for less than they would settle for in a friendship! That was my own mistake before too!

airairariel's avatar

i don’t much have the patience for long term relationships
but i love keeping my friends for as long as they will.

onesecondregrets's avatar

I am all over the place when it comes to all relationships.
With guys? I’ve had short term (few month stints) and I’ve had long term (year and a half). After the year and a half relationship I went into rebellion and had flings. Not until recently have I met anyone who has expressed interest in being with me but I realize I’m difficult to be in a relationship with. I’m distant, weird, and do not know what I want ultimately. I hate it. I would like a long term preferrably.

With friendships, for the most part I have friends around that I’ve had for a good 10 years. New acquantances come, just like boys as they go too. I’m a floater or something.

Relationships perplex my mind. :(.

sjmc1989's avatar

Somehow Im always looking just for a short relationship that is full of lust, and pleasure without all the emotional baggage that comes from long relationship but I always end up having a long term relationship. I just want the sexual and company aspects of a relationship without the fighting, bitching, and emotional exhaustion that goes with an “actual relationship.” IS that so hard to ask!! Sorry can you tell I’m sexually frustrated? Sorry for the rant but I feel lots better. And Im not ok with my decisions and I was totally helpless. :)

NewZen's avatar

You asked: Do you seem to have long term relationships, sexual and plutonic, or lots of short term ones?

I’m confused. I do not have all that at the same time. It’d be too confusing. Are the long term ones sexual and plutonic (on Pluto?) or are the short term ones platonic and, well, short term? Very confused here.

I have short-term relationships if we break up quickly – and long term relationships when it works. Fuck pluto.

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