General Question

krose1223's avatar

What do you consider sex?

Asked by krose1223 (3244 points ) October 31st, 2008

Let me explain.
I had a friend in high school who always got on my nerves because he claimed to be a virgin. He was Catholic so he was saving himself… He had anal sex with many different partners but still took pride in his virginity. (As did some of his partners) I just never got this. Sex is sex. My friends that are lesbian consider themselves de-virginized and they have never been penetrated anywhere with anything other than fingers! Does God prefer butt sex to vaginal sex?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

35 Answers

richardhenry's avatar

The phrase “anal sex” sort of gives it away. Anyone who honestly believes that having anal sex instead of vaginal sex means they’re keeping their “values” or whatever, is kidding themselves.

stratman37's avatar

Just don’t ask Bill Clinton for his opinion!

krose1223's avatar

@ richard I completely agree with you! I have argued with this guy until I was blue in the face. As well as some of the girls he was with. They were all religious so I think it was just a loop hole.

richardhenry's avatar

@krose1223: I wouldn’t worry about it. These guys clearly have a religion they don’t actually believe in, they just feel obligated to follow the rules.

You’ll never convince them, but you should quietly give yourself a pat on the back for not having to lie to yourself about something so fundamental as whether or not putting your penis up someone’s pooper qualifies as sex.

krose1223's avatar

ha yeah I don’t ever even see these people anymore. That was a few years ago but I was reading another thread on here that made me remember how much it bothered me. I was curious what the Flutherians thought. Thanks for your input! Lurve for yas.

richardhenry's avatar

I’m curious, how often would they talk to you about it? That’s a really strange thing to keep bringing up. :)

Edit: Especially to someone who gets really annoyed with you whenever you do. Heh.

jtvoar16's avatar

my two cents:
I agree, if it involves anything with reproductive organs and at some point someone having an orgasm, or close enough, then it is sex, plane and simple!
@richardhenry, me and my friends in high school always talked sex, and I being gay, the subject moved towards the butt awfully quickly! We still to this day, but not as often unless we are sleep deprived.

asmonet's avatar

Haha, watch Saved!

And your friend is no virgin.

krose1223's avatar

@ richard- Well, me and my friends are all brutally honest with eachother. We talk about things that should possibly be kept private. :-p That’s why I love them though. We all love eachother in the end… Except for this one actually. It was a complicated situation, and I just liked proving this guy wrong. :)

PupnTaco's avatar

Was he pitching or catching?

krose1223's avatar

Uh… Pitching?? I guess is what it would have been.

asmonet's avatar

lol, testees.

jtvoar16's avatar

Does anyone else find it interesting that of all the sex questions on Fluther, this one is the cleanest one thus far? Usually by this point there are pages worth of sexual innuendo, hehehe, I suspect that by the nights end, it will be thus! And I shall be here waiting for that moment!

cdwccrn's avatar

if you have to ask, you’re probably having it (sex). If you are getting off( and I’m not talking about the bus) you definitely are.

cookieman's avatar

@Krose1223: You friends are delusional. Sounds like sex to me.

On another note: If your main question had been the last question you asked in the sub-paragraph, this thread may have gone a whole ‘nother way.

El_Cadejo's avatar

If you can put sex after the word and it makes sense, well thats sex sorry end of story. I always hated the whole anal argument. Though i do find it funny that so many girls are willing to take it in the ass just to say they are still a virgin.

augustlan's avatar

I thought God didn’t “approve” of anal sex for any reason. I can’t see how he’d “prefer” it in the mind of a Catholic.

shadling21's avatar

Wikipedia discusses “the Catholic prohibitions against, for example, fornication, all other forms of unnatural sex, contraception, pornography, anal sex and masturbation.”

Basically, most sex acts are considered sinful to (Roman) Catholics. Regardless, anal sex is sex, and unmarried sex is a sin. So you should let your friend know that his explanations are BS, and that he should stop talking to you about it (if it really does annoy you).

My opinion? God can’t prefer one kind of sex over another, since He does not exist.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

I don’t think Catholics have a lock on this. When my daughter was in middle school, girls from another school were giving guys blow jobs at a local movie theater in an upper middle class neighborhood. Most of these kids belonged to an evangelical church youth group.

krose1223's avatar

@cprevte and shadling

I was being sarcastic about the God thing. That was also just part of my argument to him.

laureth's avatar

To me, sex is as much about the attitude behind what you’re doing as the physical action. It is clear that your pal is having sex, no matter what part of his body he’s using.

This is how I can say that rape is NOT sex, but sometimes when I kiss my husband, it’s so intense and so wonderful and emotional that the kiss itself is a kind of sex.

susanc's avatar

So, say there’s a 15-year-old girl blowing a 15-year-old boy in an upper-middle-class neighborhood movie theatre. The boy gets off but the girl just performs and spits into her empty popcorn container. He’s had sex. She’s had an unpleasant mouthful. And that’s a shame, if not a sin.

cookieman's avatar

@susanc: Now there’s a visual I could have lived without.

wundayatta's avatar

Um, what was the question?

MissAnthrope's avatar

I’ve actually thought a lot about this, mainly because there doesn’t seem to be a standard definition that can be applied across all orientations. Basing it on the notion of hetero sex doesn’t seem to be right or fitting. What I settled on is that any partnered sexual activity that results in one or both partners achieving orgasm is sex. I mean, even mutual masturbation is intimate and very sexually charged.

There are many people out there that rather boastfully pat themselves on the backs for their so-called virginity, when they’re doing everything else but coitus. I find it ridiculous and hypocritical.

susanc's avatar

O, cprevite, I didn’t mean to bum you out.

Bri_L's avatar

I have always considered it vaginal intercourse.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

I was just talking about this tonight! In my reasoning (something these fake virgins obviously aren’t doing) it seems like God would be even more pissed, because you’re not only “fornicating” but practicing “sodomy”. It’s two sins in one!

Even if you convince yourself you’re still a virgin, there’s not way you can get around the fact that there was a butt hole involved.

cookieman's avatar

@susanc: S’Okay. Just one more reason not to go to the movies.

susanc's avatar

lol cpre. thanks for the good naturedness.

oopslc89's avatar

i consider it sex when any part of me is in any part of her. man that was good….......thats what she said.

lapilofu's avatar

I think people are a little overly obsessed with the definition of sex. There are a lot of different sexual acts, and whether or not they are “actually sex” doesn’t have any practical bearing on how enjoyable they are or who can practice them or really many practical effects at all.

I think a lot of it has to do with this idea that “virgin” and “non-virgin” are two completely distinct states—a line that you cross over at some point and become a different person—but the truth is simultaneously more and less complicated than that. Losing your virginity in the conventional sense of the word may or may not be a big deal in reality. And it may or may not be a bigger deal than your first kiss, your first time trying anal, your first time having sex with someone you actually love, your first time giving or receiving oral, your first time orgasming in the presence of someone else… the list goes on and on.

My point is that we obsess over this definition, when frankly it’s just not that important. I would really encourage people, if you’re not sure whether or not something qualifies as sex, just avoid using the unmodified word altogether and speak specifically about what you are referring to.

shadling21's avatar

@lap – Well said.

ithinkiknowthis221's avatar

well to me anything with the word sex in it or has any contact with a person in any sexual way it is sex thats just my opinion.

dont know if this helps but good luck

elanakin's avatar

If you’ve had anal, you’re definitely no longer a virgin.

Wow, why be religious if you’re going to try to avoid the exact laws that define your religious views. Being of Jewish decent, I really hate when people claim to be kosher and then make exceptions left and right. If you don’t want to eat kosher all the time, stop claiming to be kosher. It’s just like when vegetarians say “but I do eat fish.”

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther