General Question

aanuszek1's avatar

Can the collective write a (sequel to the) short story?

Asked by aanuszek1 (2268 points ) November 13th, 2008

As some of you may recall, there was an interesting story written sometime ago by the collective. Can we write a bestselling sequel? I doubt it. But it’s worth a go. Six words each post, and no back to back posts. Also, please don’t insert those nasty “Hey stupid! Six words only!” cliffnotes.

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142 Answers

aanuszek1's avatar

I’ll start:

As I stepped out of the

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shower, I tripped and fell on

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the end.

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the soap, at which point I

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startled the cat who knocked over

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a spittoon. After mopping globular juices

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out of my orifices, I wondered

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why my brother left the spittoon

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on the bathroom floor.

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When I see my brother again,

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I am putting the spittoon in

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his favorite easy chair so that

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he sits on it and ruins

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the cheesy floral pattern that covers

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those stupid bermuda shorts he got

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from his blind girlfriend last year.

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She’s a sweetheart, but the clothing

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she picks is the weirdest stuff

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like this shirt she gave me

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that shows my tattoo of a

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drunken monkey sailor who’s had his

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virginity stolen by a dirty, freaky

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Monk in southern Africa who

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haunts my dreams and makes me

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wonder why I even bothered to

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make him pumpkin pie from the roots of

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the Feces tree that grows around

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that giant shithole. Next time I’ll

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be sure not to stub my toe

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on the petrified lump of stinking

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skunk carcass. I really should clean

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the carpet where the rotten flesh

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is still sitting. Boy I’m lazy!

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As for that burning rash I

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should go to the dr. and

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have him smell it, seeing as

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it looks a lot like my

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brother’s shorts, but then again I

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need to stop smelling my brother’s shorts

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and switch to smelling his funky

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new line of cologne for men

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,”Essence o de Cheez-Whiz” which actually

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attracts farm animals of every type.

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which led to a rather embarrassing incident

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involving two sheep and a large

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alpaca named Bob

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who is minus one leg but

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sings a beautiful rendition of The Wind Beneath My Wings

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Then there was the sacrificial chicken

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who refused to be sacrificed and led a chicken coup

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that ran roughshod over the entire

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farm, including poor old bob the alpaca

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and then ran over the goat who

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kicked the famer in his jewels and

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ceased all production of the perfume.

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Now it was time to start making

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spill-proof spittoons, so that I

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wouldn’t waste any when I drank

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Boy, do I like to drink.

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This way, my brother won’t leave

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and my big sister won’t try

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to steal my glorious collection of

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vintage spittoons, which I have locked

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away in the safe for my

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safekeeping, guarded by 3 large Albanian

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sumo wrestlers who have ran into

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a spot of trouble with a gang of kamikaze midgets little people

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who robbed the Wallmart last

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friday night wearing only their colored

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to distinguish themselves from the rival midgets little people on the other side of town

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that looked even more like demented

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cream corn

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that has escaped from the can

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that Ward the chinchilla boy

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stole from the local market in

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the most daring robbery ever

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Catmandoo

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(that was Robmandu’s secret superhero alias)

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,shouted Ward as he stole the

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creamcheese

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cream of mushroom soup from aisle 7

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or burn it!

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…Ahem Ahem… Six Words…cough cough….

Ward was very interesting, hailing from

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the supremely lovely country of Canada

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, though he was a spy for

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yearning for that sweet

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dream the famous rock group

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slice of American pie, which he

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promptly stuffed

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into his mouth, not even savoring

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the end of the recording

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of his favorite band of musicians

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who played his fave song called

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ode to pie”, which was featured

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on the website “Music 4 Deaf Folks” last year, during the great

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sock monkey recall, which was really

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catastrophic, seeing as the Germans had

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no knitted puppets for their kids.

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The situation was made worse when

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the angry children turned on them

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with an ear-splitting cry of

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“They all lived happily after.”

The End

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Thank you, Astro Chuck.
You win.

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Chuck cheats!

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I guess the sequels are never as good

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a large spider monkey on a

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crazy acid trip in the amazon

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met up with a friendly baboon.

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Not long after, monkey love ensued.

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In the quiet moments that followed,

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many cigarettes were smoked. Then, suddenly

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and without the slightest warning, a

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huge fart escapes the baboon’s ass. the monkey is

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paralyzed

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with embarrassment. the baboon says

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“Dear me…the bananas must be

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escaping me.”

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Just then, a large cloud of

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locusts descends upon the unsuspecting horde

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and is repelled by the gas

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with such a reverberating gust that

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no one is aware of

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because the force knocked them out!

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The locusts proceeded to eat all

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the socks in the nearby village

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while chester was about to release

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the angry German children. When they

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huddled together and prayed for their

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story to end.

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So it did.

<THE END>

Oh RichardHenry, we have a job for you…

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Err…not to sound mean (as it was mildly entertaining),
but don’t think it warrants RichardHenry’s attention.

aanuszek1's avatar

Yes I know, I was only kidding :)

If I have time I might compile it.

AstroChuck's avatar

How exactly is this a sequel?
No beaked aliens.
No Nordic tree penguins.
I just don’t get it.

aanuszek1's avatar

@AstroChuck
Don’t forget about the whiskey, oh how I loved the whiskey…

bythebay's avatar

Well I never read the first story, but this one certainly made me giggle! You’re a creative bunch ;)

Jeruba's avatar

Yes, where is the first story? I want to read about the Nordic tree penguins and the beaked aliens. The only tree penguins I know of are the coastal bearded tree penguins.

augustlan's avatar

Here it is!

Took me forever to find it!

Here is another link about the short story.

Jeruba's avatar

Ah, indeed. Thank you, Augustlan. I can see why there’d be some deep nostalgia for an experience like that, Albert Hoffman and octopi and all. So who is writing the music?

Yetanotheruser's avatar

The (newly) famous group called

Albert Hoffman and the Nordic Tree Penguins

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