Bi-polar Symptoms?

I’m not qualified at all, but that sounds exactly what I thought bi-polar disorder means

Just based on the latin stems, “bi-polar” means having two poles. From what I know about bi-polar disorder, a person who is bi-polar alternates between two poles without reason. In your son’s case, it sounds like he alternates between mellow and angry. Sounds spot on to me.

yep. Medication can help if he’s willing to take it. If he is willing to help himself this site has some really good info to help manage the disease.

I went to the Mayo Clinic site for information that lead me to self-diagnose. The National Institute of Mental Health site has a section devoted to Bipolar Disorder in Children and Teens. You could compare to what he was like as a youth.

The Mayo site also has information about what to do if you suspect a family member has it. They suggest you get that person to a doctor or psychiatrist as soon as possible. You might want to research specialists in bipolar disorder in your area and make an appointment with one of them. This is what they say:

Helping a loved one with bipolar disorder symptoms
If you have a loved one you think may have symptoms of bipolar disorder, have an open and honest discussion about your concerns. You may not be able to force someone to seek professional help, but you can offer encouragement and support and help your loved one find a qualified doctor or mental health provider. If you have a loved one who has harmed himself or herself, or is seriously considering doing so, take them to the hospital or call for emergency help.

Wow, I am so grateful for these resources. I have looked them up, and they are going to help us tremendously. Thanks again!

In addition to the resources already mentioned, I would suggest reading some of Kay Jamison‘s books. She is a clinical psychologist who has been dealing with bipolar disorder for most of her life, and a brilliant and compelling writer as well.

Best wishes to you and your son.

Thanks, Nikki. I just hope we can get him on the right track before he ruins his life or commits suicide or something.

My son is bipolar and also vacillates between mellow (when all is right in his world) and angry, violent or suicidal at one extreme and between mellow and manically producing streams of incredibly wonderful ideas that we need to do right now at the other (often at 2 in the morning).

Medication does help but it is a bit of a crap shoot in figuring out which medications and doses will work for a particular individual. We have also found that often a medication that works at first seems to lose its effectiveness. Keeping a notebook of medications, symptoms and events that seem to cause him to blow up can be a very important tool in helping his doctor figure out what combination and timing is best for him. Medication is mediated by a psychiatrist, who will most likely see him for only a few minutes at a time so the trends you see in the notes can help communicate your concerns quickly to the doctor.

Therapy with a psychologist can also help in that it can help the person (and the people around him/her) figure out what any triggers might be as well as teach and reinforce coping skills for everyone.

A very, very important aspect of controlling bipolar disorder, other than taking medication as prescribed, is that the person who has it needs to get enough sleep. Since your son has a sleep disorder treatment for that will help him immeasurably in being able to take control of his mood swings.

Because he is a married adult there is very little that you can do about making him seek treatment. Depending on where he lives his wife may be able to forcibly commit him if he is out of control, but no one will be able to force him to take medications, go to therapy, or get enough sleep. What you can do, however, is provide emotional support to his wife (and children if any), research the illness and treatment options in his locality in case he or his wife asks for your help, and seek counseling yourself to help you cope with his effect on your life.

Many bipolar folks are very intelligent and often very creative, but they can only gain control of their disease if they want to do it.

Good luck! Your description of living with a time bomb is very apt.

I’m bipolar and the symptoms sound quite bipolar to me. The best thing I ever did was get on mood stabilizing medication. The second best thing was to get into therapy to help myself get out of the living patterns I’d developed from being bipolar that weren’t having a positive impact on my life. Good luck!

Thanks, Darwin. My son is very intelligent, gifted, in fact. He is willing to seek treatment. His wife took their new baby girl and went home to mother for a while. She is willing to work with him, but only if he does something about his eposides. He is, therefore, very motivated. I am doing my best to provide emotional support. Your response has been very helpful, as well as loser’s response. I don’t know if bi-polar is the right diagnosis for him because I can’t say that we ever see him in an elated mood. He’s either “hangin’ in” or “freakin’ out.” But after reading your responses, maybe the doctor is right.

My son’s manic episodes are a “rage.” Not all manic episodes are an elevated mood. In some ways that’s easier to treat because a lot of bi-polar people don’t like their meds because they loose that “elevated mood.”

I’m the same way. It was tough to give up things like staying awake for a whole weekend so I could cut pictures out of magazines and glue them onto a piece of cardboard. (That resulted in a rather disturbing sight, BTW!) but most of my mania was anger and panic attacks so I was quite happy to give those up. I learned a lot from a sight called Mood Garden. They have a lot of good info and forums there as well as an online moodchart you can use to keep track of yourself. I use it every day.

My mania was so low level, I almost didn’t notice it. Depression was so awful that I was relieved to be able to take pills to deal with it, and in the ten or so months since then, I’ve only missed one day (by accident).

Oh, I see. Loser, you sound like my son. He can get obsessively involved in doing some task, and if it doesn’t go well, he gets more and more agitated until he spirals into an out-of-control temper-fit thing. We always called it his “Donald Duck” fits. He has every intention to not let it happen again, but he doesn’t seem to be able to stop himself. All of your information has been invaluable to me. Now I feel more confident that the diagnosis is correct, and can move forward by reading up on the links you’ve sent. Thank you!

My sister was bipolar for years. She cured herself buy supplementing certain amino acids and has zero symptoms. This is one of those “illnesses” that the pharma industry loves. In olden days it would be called “the human condition” now it is an excuse to take pills. Be a good consumer and take those pills!

@Mizuki: I think I understand where your pill taking comment is coming from, but as someone who’s life has been dramatically improved as a result of modern pharmacology…
Just don’t be dissin’ my meds, k?

I’m not sure one ever gets “cured” from bipolar condition. One just has periods of relative calm between episodes of mania or depression.

I don’t think bipolar was ever considered “the human condition.” It was always seen as abnormal, and a lot of crazy folks were locked up because of that view.

And no one wants to take pills. For having a sister who is bipolar, you seem pretty ignorant, Mizuki. These pills are not fun, and they don’t get us high or anything like that. If the meds work, and that’s a big if, then we don’t have to suffer from minds out of control. I know people who have gone through more than a dozen meds, and still haven’t found something that works. Some of them have been hospitalized way too often as a result.

So maybe you could take your smug, but ignorant attitude to some club somewhere where you all can sit around and make fun of crazy people. Be just like the rest of humanity. I’m sure you sister will be sending you roses at Christmas, because she is so grateful for your help.

There’s a man in my group who, at one point in his life, was travelling in the wilds of the Congo. Their jeep was stopped by soldiers one evening. The soldiers began stripping them of their belongings and clothes, and it soon became clear they intended to kill my friend and his travelling companions.

As they came towards him to strip him, he tells me, he stopped caring about his life any more. He attacked them, and in the end, I think all the soldiers were dead. My friend now walks the streets at night, in dangerous parts of town. He is sometimes accosted by black guys, who think they can scare anyone off just by acting tough. My friend isn’t scared. He’s never told me a story where he didn’t end up on top. Literally. Usually the cops end up thanking him for getting another bad guy off the streets (and beating them up in the process).

Sometimes when folks with bipolar are really hurting, they really don’t give a shit anymore. They’re convinced they’re going to die anyway. They can be pretty dangerous at such time.

I’ll tell you this for free. I make it a real big point to stay on this guy’s good side. I sure as hell don’t ever want to piss him off!

@Mizuki – If it weren’t for the meds my son would be dead twice over. So far he has tried to kill himself twice, once at the age of 7 and once at the age of 9. Twice he has also realized that he is out of control and asked to see a doctor.

I am glad your sister appears to be doing well but don’t blame the drug industry for the disease. In the “good old days” the bipolar folks didn’t very often live terribly long. They either killed themselves in despair or died from taking risks of one sort or another.

Yeah, fifteen percent of bipolar people are still dying by their own hand. There is only one disease that has a higher suicide rate: anorexia. Bipolar is a very serious disease, and kills one in six folks who have it. Not good. Very scary, both to those who have it, and to those who love them.

Mizuki, your comment hit me as judgemental, too. My son has not actually tried to kill himself, but has often talked about “blowing his brains out.” He’s even had a gun to his head more than once. I am a great believer in modern meds, and peoplewith anxiety or depression should take them if it improves their lives.

Skagg,
When your son is having a good day, please try to convince him that it is dangerous for him to ever have access to guns. My first husband made the same threats several times and if I ever blame myself for his suicide it is because I didn’t insist that the guns be completely out of our house. If holding a gun to his head isn’t trying to find the courage to kill himself I don’t know what is.

I know. He’s a grown man and there is only so much I can do. Both his wife and I have told him, begged him, pleaded with him to loose the guns. He told me recently that he did sell one of them. I think his others are in storage and not easily accessible. Don’t blame yourself for what happened to your husband. If a person is determined, there is really nothing you can do. You can’t be supervising them every minute. That is why I want my son to get on a regime of meds and counseling to level out his moods – because I can’t be with him all the time.

I am so sorry Judi, that’s terrible!

@skagg;
There IS a gun shortage out there these days. If he ever wanted to sell them now would be a good time. He would probably get top dollar. Maybe you can encourage him that way.
@ loser;
Thanks. It was 20 years ago this January. The hard thing is that these things leave a legacy. Our son (now 24) is bi-polar. He lives 100 miles away from me now and I sometimes wake up in a panic wondering if he’s OK. He has been pretty stable for 3 years but just finally started going back to school this year and the stress has put him into a depression.

This is the manic side of bipolar, I have no doubt in my mind. Find him a good psyc, and get him on meds