Say I'm the tech guy at your company... Is it wrong to tape upside down tacks to all the caps lock keys in the building?

Yes, it is wrong. Instead, you should use a miniature version of the Canadarm that is programmed to slap the typists hands every time they use all caps inappropriately. ;o)

There is no reason for people to be using the caps key. No reason.

Well, unless the reason is to write screaming emails/word documents. And that’s no good!

That sounds like something I would do…although cleaning blood off of keyboards after hours doesn’t sound like a good time to me.

Just get new keys made up that say “System Failure” or some such and replace the caps lock button with them. That should scare off all those who know little enough about computers to think typing in all caps is acceptable.

No, what you need is to set up the caps lock keys so that they randomly hop off the keyboard, and go spinning into the darkest corners of cubicles, never to be found again. Then you can come in and berate the poor typist, and garnish their salaries an exorbitant (we’re talking $500 shovel territory here) amounts of money for replacement keys. You get to keep the leftover amount.

Ooooo, I like daloon’s idea!

I’m guessing you’re on windows machines, so what you should do is find a little program that makes the caps key work as a shift key. I used to use this on all my old computers to prevent people from WRITING THOSE STUPID ALL CAPS LETTERS.

I can’t find the program, but you might be able to by googleing around.

I would like the tack installed on my caps lock key. It is infuriating to strike it by accident and not realize it until ten lines later. I never write all in caps on purpose and hate the proximity of caps lock.

Set a macro in word that makes all writing that is written in caps to lowercase.

So you’re the one!!!! Oh buddy you just wait till after break! I AM SO GONNA ALL CAPS FIGHT YO ASS!!! My finger is infected thanks to you and your tack, caps attack.
really though
I suggest a swift wedgie or salt in their coffee.

@Mtl_zack, not bad, but I would not want anything to happen automatically and nonnegotiably. That is what I hate about Microsoft. The first thing I do with a newly installed version of Word is turn off everything that takes over my controls, from case fractions to list formatting. I don’t even want a single lowercase i corrected; it could be a Roman numeral (or, of course, somebody’s poetic style).

But—sometimes you need all caps (e.g., styling of function names). What I’d like is a keyboard function that emulates an old manual typewriter—i.e., a shift lock key that gives you all caps when you combine it with the shift key. Why don’t we have that?

Take comfort in the little things.

Fuck with their heads, not their fingers.

How about a trojan that anyone on a forum could send to a user causing electric shocks for all the screamers? And if the lock stays on over 5seconds the browser closes and won’t reboot for ten minutes?

So wrong. So funny!

For the people that are ignorant I’d let loose anecdotes that teach them how inappropriate using all-caps is:

‘Where I used to work this guy used to use caps all the time which actually means shouting – one day his co-worker got so pissed he chopped his keyboard up with an axe!’

For people that know and for some reason are just being idiots I’d respond in kind:

‘THE MEMO WAS SENT OUT LAST WEEK. ADJUST YOUR JUNK MAIL SETTINGS. NOW I WILL CHOP YOUR KEYBOARD UP WITH AN AXE.’