General Question

Jude's avatar

How do you get closure and move on (when dealing with the end of a relationship)?

Asked by Jude (31966 points ) December 23rd, 2008
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

18 Answers

augustlan's avatar

Cry. Get busy. Repeat as needed. In time, you will be okay…just remember that and let time do it’s work.

cak's avatar

^^^^ best advice! :)

wondersteph's avatar

Deal with it as needed. Cry. Be pissed. Laugh. But let it go.
I get really lonely and tempted to call or message ex’s. If you’re the same way, stay busy! Get your friends over. Talk to them about it. Get involved in things you love to do – paint, draw, listen to music, read, GO OUT!

seekingwolf's avatar

Remember that it’s okay to cry and grieve for a while. I can’t stress this enough.

My first love was when I was 14 and it was with someone MUCH older (uh oh, I know) so when my parents found out and he was essentially ripped out of my life…it took me about 3 years to actually move on. Why? Because I didn’t grieve. I didn’t actually acknowledge the loss and cry about it. I just forced myself to move on too soon.

Sometimes, people just go right into “rebound” relationships or busy themselves too quickly afterward. Don’t do that. Just take your time and grieve, but then get into activities again when you’re done so the grieving doesn’t turn into moping.

Best of luck.

loser's avatar

I have a couple of friends who actually went through divorce counseling. I can only agree with the suggestions here though. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and time will heal. Hang in there!!!

susanc's avatar

Yes, crying and smiling both —> endorphins.

If it works for you, write about it. Sorting your experience is
important work.
Maybe you’ve noticed that grief comes in unpredictable waves.
Be patient. You’ll ride it out.

GAMBIT's avatar

Since I’ve been on fluther I have seen this type of question come up three or four times. From this I would say that you are not alone. Hang in there someone that is right for you will come along in time.

bythebay's avatar

susanc is right, grief is like a bad hangover. Just when you think you’re well enough to move about, another wave knocks you back down. Give it time. Your relationship didn’t develop in a few days, you can’t expect to get over it in a few days.

Give yourself time to be sad, don’t dwell, move forward.
Good luck.

warpling's avatar

My biggest problem is dwelling, think about things, but don’t think too much about changing past actions.

emilyrose's avatar

Exercise will help your emotions immensely and may even be a way for you to find a new interest you didn’t know you had.

0x2eleven's avatar

Make sure that the relationship is ending on good terms, not in cold-blood. If it looks like it’s going in a bad direction, fix it before it’s too late. Also, make sure you say everything to them that you’re thinking so you’ll have fewer regrets later on.

Grieve, but don’t allow yourself to dwell on what’s happened. Do what it takes to keep your mind off of the problem. Do something to make yourself happy.

Trustinglife's avatar

@jmah, so, is it over? You’ve posted questions about it a few times here, and I’d like to hear the latest.

augustlan's avatar

Me, too.

PredatorGanazX's avatar

Hahahah Trustinglife is a bit aggresive there…

Get urself a new hunk or start dating Craig David Imah ..

Jude's avatar

We’re still working in it. She’s been away since the 24th. Not sure what’s going to happen. right now, I’m just like a big ol’ ball of nausea.

loser's avatar

So sorry. Hang in there!

BoyWonder's avatar

Best way is to break clean with nothing hanging in the air. And make sure both parties are in agreement of breaking up.

PredatorGanazX's avatar

That’s a real tough one to do. Most people will just buzz off.

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