Will AstroChuck be opening a school for smartasses, and if so, what subjects will he teach?
I ask this with slim hopes it will happen, but I seriously want to be able to have as smart an ass as AstroChuck’s. I’d love to take a course with him, and I’m curious as to what subjects he would teach. Any ideas?
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Why would smartasses want to go to school? I mean they think they know everything already! And I’ve got to tell you, that’s really irritating to those of us who really do!
I want a seat in the front row if he does!!
Agreed, Scamp. I would go. He’s probably teach a couple of courses:
General Jackassary 101
Humorous Retorts 101
And then someting boring like Acounting 101.
Everything can’t be fun and games.
“Creative Mail Routing: Thinking Outside of the Box”
100 Creative Uses For the Rule Book
How to Avoid Coloring Between the Lines
How to Maintain Your Youthful Appearance
Practical Jokes 050: How long will the class wait for the instructor to show up?
We seem to be doing… well, you seem to be doing pretty well, even in the absence of the teacher.
Perhaps a philosophy class thrown in:
Do smartasses fart, or are they too smart for that?
Or more to the point, if a smartass farts while fluthering, does anyone smell it?
@shilolo That would make a funny T-shirt logo… Too Smart To Fart!!
How to Come Up with Kooky Questions No One’s Ever Thought Of.
Contemplating your navel: yoga 101
Hmm…
Why do dogs lick their penis?: Yoga 201
“How to get Free Magazine Subscriptions” subtitle: “How to handle customer complaints about late periodical literature deliveries”
How to Win Friends and Influence Nobody
Being a Smartass for Dummies
“Why Naval Lint has Nothing to do with Sailors”
@Sueanne_Tremendous I think we found our substitue for the days Chuck is on vacation or if he has to take a sick day!!
Dog avoidance manuevers 101
Shoot from the hip responses 511
Lurvenomics 354
Lurvanese 101 – 104 (become fluent in the language of lurve)
Fluther Self Marketing 245 (you too can become a fluther celeb)
Hip Hop dance class…..
How to get lurve?
:s I don’t know…
“Wisecracks for Smartasses.”
How to Make Lurve not War
Fluther Humor – Less is More
Making a Frizzer Work for You
If I may suggest the name: AstroChuck’s School for Wisecracks and Smart Asses
Please, please let this question come true!
This has been here for 6 days? Where the hell have I been? PnL just gave me the heads up on this thread.
Well, I guess it won’t also be called AstroChuck’s School of Omniscience.
Usually if the professor doesn’t show up in half an hour, I leave.
Six days, Astro! Six days! You should be flattered.
@Nimis – half an hour? Really?? I am all about the 11-minute rule.
@PnL Depends on the class!
Though it’s more like 20 minutes
because our classes would start 10 after.
@AstroChuck: actually, since you didn’t show up, we had to start without you. But I’m sure you’ll raise the level of smartassdom to never before seen heights, now that you’re to take the podium.
Where do we start? Is it like boot camp? We all learn to shout “SMARTASS” in unison every time someone lands a good one?
Actually, I think every one of you has done a great job with that before I even got here. However, I grade on a curve so that’s going to work against some of you.
[waiting for the other shoe to drop]
Youve got a long wait. I teach in my slippers and robe.
Please tell me you’ve got something on under that robe. If not, tie that sash tight!
Sorry. And that robe has been known to open a bit without warning.
And please refer to me as Professor Dude.
Oh dear. I think I might have to make a play for the professor, he’s clearly sending out signals.
Nah, that’s just the dry-erase marker in his bathrobe pocket
Now, all I’m gonna be thinking in my Sociology class is peen when my professor searches every pocket for his marker. Thanks, jerk.
I’ll show you my marker, if you’ll show me yours.
I still have a blackboard in my classroom. No whiteboard and no dry erase markers.
But lots of chalk.
@asmonet: all right! Unless I miss my guess, my marker is getting really excited about seeing yours!
This thread was all about Chuck until he actually showed up.
Haha
That’s just ‘cause we’re all struttin’ our smartass skills for the prof. It’s the practical exam.
I wouldn’t go so far as to call it “practical”
Never heard of the SAT (Smart Ass Test)?
@ Harp Where I come from, we took the ACT (AstroChuck Test) instead of the SAT.
Okay. Open your packets now.
I brought a No. 2 pencil!
:D
Damn! I have number 3 pencils and number 1 pencils, but no no. 2s. If I bring one one and one three, will I be allowed to average them?
Or two #1’s.
Or break a third off of the #3.
Sorry. It has to be done in red crayon.
I failed.
I know I failed.
Dammit.
@asmonet: hey! You cheated! It was your idea that we should bring pencils, and you knew it was red crayons all along! I’m going over to the pranks question to find a suitable response.
Aw teach, can we have a makeup test?
No makeup tests! it’s unfair to the men
Not all the men sweetheart. <insert Paul Lynde laugh here>
Well, I’m kind of a diabolical genius. Deal, daloon. :)
I’m finished and I’m pretty sure I aced it! Stop copying Daloon, you should have studied!
@SuperMouse: He totally tried that on me too. Block with the forearm! Block. With. The. Forearm. ;)
Can we just have our highest scores reported??
(Daloon, stop that!)
Daloon is a very bad boy, very bad indeed. ;)
maybe he needs a spanking (or is that the other thread?)
Hey kids, I got this F the hard way. I earned it!
Smith Barney, eat your heart out!
[daloon wonders how many people will get the reference without googling it—be honest now]
And for being such a bad boy, I shall submit to any punishment Asmonet has in mind, so long as there is a lot of whipped cream and bananas involved.
janbb, you can watch, to make sure there is hanky-panky involved.
oops. Did I do a booboo? Hell no!
I could make a joke about earning an F…But I’m too classy.
I own handcuffs. Fact.
I did google, because I didn’t catch the ref, but that’s cool. I’m more disturbed by the result I got. The most racist essay I have ever had the misfortune of reading. I mean, wow.
I hesitate to ask what search terms you used, but this is what I meant. Here’s an example. In this one, you can see John Housman saying it.
Oh, oh teacher, can I have extra credit?! I totally knew the reference Daloon was making! Smith Barney earns money the old fashioned way, the earn it! See?! I totally knew it and didn’t have to google it! I also know that Merrill Lynch is bullish on America! And I stopped someone from cheating off me, shouldn’t I get extra credit? Shouldn’t I? I really think I should.
No, I am not an apple polisher!
@ SuperMouse – brown noser
Put a | + after the F and make it and A+. See?
Fod God’s sake, guys, a school for smartasses. :)
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