When I'm writing about a toilet, should I capitalize the word John?

Your honor is intact. Lower-case “j”.

your first instinct was correct.

Capitalization makes it a proper noun, as in “my son John.”

Capital letter of course, it’s not called the throne for no reason and you know how royalty likes to be treated. <grin>

^^Wrong.

well crud, here I thought I found my area of expertise

(Try capitalizing “Well” as a substitute usage fix.)

@gailcalled
A bit rude, if you ask me.

By the way, (as many of you know) I hate toilets! Never Capitalize it out of hate!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>:( >:( >:(
Anyone have a tranquilizer?

90’s_kid: Isn’t this a question about when to use upper case?

@gailcalled
Always trying to crack me? Well, stop. Because now, I am getting seriously furious. Do not get overconfidence, please.
I said “Never Capitalize it out of hate!!!”
I really mean that the answer is no, but making it funny. There, you just went and killed my joke. I hope that you stop bugging me, because I have to say the you are my biggest problem on Fluther.

As Fred Allen used to say, almost, “That’s a joke, son?”

[mod says:] Flame off please.

Only if you’re referring to the inventor of the modern commode, Mr. John Crapper.

For real.

um, actually, that should be Thomas Crapper And even then, it’s not so clear.

umm, it doesn’t matter what you’re writing about. “John” is a proper noun so it should be capitalized.

I know this is a really old thread, but since I found it by having this same question, I figured a bit of clarification might be a good thing here in case someone else stumbles upon this and needs to know the answer. Since this thread left me still confused, I turned to Merriam-Webster. It looks like we don’t capitalize “John” when referring to either a toilet or a prostitute’s “client.”
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/john

I’m going to trust old Merriam-Webster on this one. :)