Is it ever too soon in a relationship to use the word LOVE?

My current boyfriend and I only knew each other for about five days before he told me he loved me, and I think he means it. So maybe not.
Then again, lets see where our relationship stands a month from now before we make any assumptions.

Omg if a guy told me he loved me sooner then 7 months or really a year I’d RUN! That is weird and I wouldn’t believe it was love anyway. It’s called lust. I get turned off when men try to hard.

Hmm my memory might be a little fuzzy, but is this the same girl you were asking sex appeal about. cant remember if that was you or someone else.

Anywaaaays that is an interesting question, I guess there is really no sure time, however I learned something from studying Russian. In Russian there is no way to really tell someone you like them as more than a friend, you can’t say I like you because that translate as you like them as a friend, and you can’t say I love you because in russian love is a permanent emotion, like it is suppose to last forever. SO if you are telling a girl you love her in Russian, you better be backing that up with an engagement ring.

Of course in English the phrase I love is thrown around a lot more loosely, like I love pizza and I love the tv show the office etc. But really this is just us exaggerating when we say we like something. Anyways I don’t really know where I am going with this story but when you say I love you it should be a feeling you can commit too. So if you can see yourself committing to someone then that is the right time to say I love you.

People throw that word around way to much. Even when they don’t mean it.

@missjena too hard, way too much.
Sorry, I have to do that.

The answer is ‘No’.

I am to lazy to add letters or periods sometimes

@missjena too lazy

aww, wait, was that a taunt?

I didn’t add a period either I do this on purpose

I think the emotion of love takes different amounts of time to develop for different people so it’s hard to put a specific time on when it’s a good occasion to tell someone you love them. As a relationship develops, there are signs and feelings that come forth and these are indications regarding the intensity of that relationship which would hopefully tell someone just how deeply they feel for someone, in a certain way, and if love is part of that equation.

It’s quite annoying missjena, could you at least try to use correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation? If it’s an accident, I get it, but if you do it on purpose it’s just annoying

Oh yeah, and the actual question:
Some people who have been married for years don’t love each other. It’s not the length of the relationship, it’s the people in it.If you really do love her, then tell her that. Really think about it. If you don’t love her, don’t say it. It will ruin the time when you do realize it, if you ever love her.

you guys really if we are writing English essays for our school or university then lets crucify someone for their poor spelling and grammar, other wise let it drop as long as its readable. This is just an online forum.

Not if you’re doing it on purpose. Then it’s just annoying.

There really is no right or wrong answer to this question. Every individual is different. For some a month may be too soon, others not soon enough.
It was about a month of dating when my husband and I said “I love you”. 18 years later, we are still very happy. If it feels right to you, say it. Hope it works out for you tennessee! :D

@jonsblond Exactly, it’s how mature the people are, and how both of the people feel. If you feel like you love her, then say it.

jonsblond, you and blondsjon are just messing with me by changing your avatar all the time!

@chyna We like to keep things interesting. :)

Thank you kidkyle!! I agree! I’m on my iPhone I hit 2 keys at once as it is. Leave me alone if my grammar doesn’t agree with you mangeons.

Sure you can love someone within a month. Lot’s of people have met, gotten married the same day, and lasted a lifetime. Of course, others haven’t lasted.

I knew I was going to marry my wife about a week after we first got serious, and about four weeks after we met. It’s been 24 years now.

Sure, hormones play a part, and you should take a while to get married, so you can be sure that your initial feelings are staying true. But you gotta follow your feelings or you will live a shadow life.

I never said that. I said please try, you said you were doing it on purpose. If it’s an accident, then I don’t mind, because you can’t control it.

Is it ever too soon? Yes. But it is not a matter of calendar time. Rather, it’s a matter of inner state.

I know more than one couple who felt something click when they first met and talked to each other. They felt as if they’d known each other all their lives. That’s what they said then, not something they made up or imagined later. I’m thinking of four or five couples who have been together for more than 30 years now. I don’t know how soon any of them started talking about love, but it was almost as if they didn’t have to.

For others it dawned slowly. Just as real and just as right, but not instantaneous.

It is certainly too soon if you feel any uncertainty. If you are not sure what you mean by “love.” If you are overwhelmed by a rush of feeling but have no clarity of perception. If you are having the same feeling you’ve had many times before, when it turned out to be a mad but passing infatuation. If you have to protect the feeling for fear it will run away. If it comes and goes. As someone once wisely said, “If there’s a doubt—there’s no doubt.”

Mangeons your picking on me not in 1 question posting but 2. I don’t really care if you think I’m annoying. Just answer the question asked and tryyyy and stop focusing on me so much. K?

burn

I was ANSWERING on your other question, and I’m not picking on you! I was simply stating something about it, and asking you to stop NICELY, and you overreacted! How is that my fault?

@daloon Didnt Angelina Jole and Billy Bob Thorton get married after one date? Ok, that’s not a great example, but it could’ve lasted.

@missjena and peyton here would be the place to start correcting grammar…. the entire page is riddled with errors and typos.

And to answer the question… no I don’t think there would be a time that would be too soon to say the “L” word so long as you are willing to commit to a person like Lkidkyle suggested.

It’s perfectly true that careless and lazy spelling and punctuation grate on many people. Some of us are sensitive to those things and view sloppiness as a discourtesy. Others are much more casual about them and don’t consider them as obstacles to communication.

In a forum like this I think we have to look at those things much as we view other people’s table manners. Those who are careful about which fork to use won’t enjoy watching someone who eats with his fingers. But it can be as impolite to correct someone else’s manners as it is to forget to use your napkin. The trick is to learn to tolerate an acceptable range of behavior while knowing which limits to enforce.

@Jeruba. Very well said. Lurve.

I think love is a use for a feeling we have. If we have the feeling, why shouldn’t we use the word when we feel it, even if it’s just one date?

To answer my own question, people get scared. They wonder how a person could feel so strongly after one date. Yet…. yet….

Surely the other person must have felt something, or how could the one? This doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Or, if it did, it truly is a sign for the other person to run.

However, just because you feel love, doesn’t mean it will last. I’ve had relationships last 24 years, 5 years, 2 years, 1 year, and then assorted little relationships that lasted less than a year. I certainly felt I loved the other person in all the longer lasting relationships. Most of these relationships—nay, in three of these relationships, I knew I loved the person within a month. Sometimes sooner.

Just because it doesn’t last, doesn’t mean it isn’t love. And just because love ends, it doesn’t mean you’ve been burned, and you should be twice shy. I think it’s better to fully throw yourself into relationships, then to hold yourself back out of fear. Then again, and this is going to sound arrogant, but I think it’s true, I am pretty good at finding good people. None of my relationships have been mistakes. I’ve learned from all of them, but I never got “burned.”

I was hurt, and badly, very badly, but I was not burned. I think that’s because of an attitude I have about it. Relationships are wondrous things. I don’t feel like anyone ever took advantage of me. They can only do that if I think of it that way, and I refuse to think of it that way. I am learning, and I may make mistakes, but mistakes are the best way to learn. You can’t get better if you don’t learn, so you’ve got to make mistakes.

It’s called limerance. You’ll be over it in a few more months. Good luck!

@missjena you’re picking on me

No, I will not live it down.

@peyton_farquhar And this is helping tennesseejac in what way?

@jonsblond hey. I was the first person to answer the question. Don’t say I haven’t contributed to the intended discussion.

you say “i love you” when you have resolved yourself. in other words, the answer of true love came after you slept night after night—by yourself—and you tossed and turned about how and when to say it.

when you get to this point, certain transactions have already occurred that are way past infatuation. it’s something about him or her that you cannot figure out, but you cannot be happy in yourself until you commit the feeling.

love 101.

@peyton_farquhar I never said you didn’t contribute. Your last comment could have been a pm to the person you are trying to correct.

@charliecompany34 The voice of reason, or actually, the voice of knowing. Very nice.

@peyton woooohooo I’m glad I’m getting 2 u. I am not bothered by little things in life like grammar on an online forum. If I make an error I won’t press the delete button to fix it. Muahahahhahah. Nothing bothers me esecually grammar on a forum. When I’m doing more important things then my grammar is impecable. Until then I’ll continue 2 type how I lplease and watch you take your time and correct me. Entertaining

Yeah really if you have such a problem PM me. Jeez they are trying to talk about love here and not grammar

@missjena lolwut

[mod says:] Though some might not care about typing in text speak, it is against the Fluther guidelines. We all make the occasional typo, but doing so deliberately is a direct violation of the aforementioned rules. If anyone has any further questions about this, please feel free to PM me.

@tennesseejac Falling in love is a wonderful experience, isn’t it?. If you’re sure of what you are feeling, go with it!

yes i went out with someone for three weeks… after we were getting up one morning i accidentally let slip…“oh I love you” in a “non-serious kind of light-hearted but thinking it – shouldn’t have come out of my mouth” kind of way. He dumped me the next day!

@missjena: Considering that you claim to have majored in English and plan to be a teacher, the proper use of grammar and spelling should matter to you, and should come automatically, regardless of which forum or media you are writing for. It sickened me when typed notes full of errors were sent home from school with my son… I wanted to correct them and return them, but I knew that it likely would make the teachers harder on my son.

As to the question at hand, there is no timeline for using the word “Love”. The greater issue is whether the person using it knows what they mean. Very often, what is perceived as love in the early stages of a relationship is actually infatuation. Other people equate need and attachment for love. Very few people mean true, unconditional love when they say, “I love you”.

@LKidKyle1985 that is kind of scary that you are putting those two questions together, but YES you are correct, sir.

Ummm, it all changed when we kissed Friday night :)

I know its way too soon for love, but what do I call this incredible feeling that makes my heart tap dance when I look into her eyes?

You could easily call it love, like most of us said, it’s really not too soon for love. :)

I’d call it happiness. Embrace and enjoy my friend!

I’d call it falling in love. Enjoy the fall!