General Question

tb1570's avatar

What do you do when you have the feeling of being "lost?"?

Asked by tb1570 (3123points) March 1st, 2009

You know the feeling: no direction, no goals, no sense of reason or purpose, no inspiration, no hope, no validity, no sense of worth.

And what to do when the things you normally do to help you cope with this feeling don’t work anymore and in fact often leave you feeling even more “empty?”

p.s.
And turning to “The Book” or any “higher power” won’t do a damn thing for me, so please don’t bother.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

7 Answers

dlm812's avatar

Normally, I turn to family or friends for support – not answers, but support.

If this doesn’t work/help, then I usually take a whole lot of “me” time. I put everything else in my life on hold and do things just for me for a little while. I find that I get this feeling of being lost because I am stressed or my life is too full of doing things for other people – I am no longer in-tune with myself. “Me” time usually consists of riding for hours out in the woods on my favorite horse by myself, or going for long pointless drives in the country. These moments allow me to be in a simple setting where I can think, reflect, and relax.

Every person is definitely different on this, however, so I am interested to see others reply to this thread.

essieness's avatar

I try to find happiness and contentment in my most current situation.

marinelife's avatar

The feeling that you are describing is not within my normal range of feelings. Is it possible that you are suffering from depression?

aprilsimnel's avatar

It sounds like depression, of which I have some experience with. If you need to see someone to make that diagnosis, do so.

I’ve learned that the first thing to do is accept that this is how you feel. It surprised me how much judgement I put on myself for having the feelings I had, but doing that doesn’t help. That makes things worse. So accept that they are what they are. That makes it easier to separate yourself from your feelings (because you are not your feelings!), which in turn will help enable you to make the effort to help yourself.

They don’t have to be big changes, even little ones like moving your body in some form of vigorous exercise for 20 minutes every day. I have a jump rope and I’m lucky enough to live in place with a sizable living room that I can jump in. It helps to move your body. Get at least 15 minutes of sunshine. Eat properly. Sleep properly. Find some way to help someone else, even if it’s only once a week. Be grateful for something everyday, no matter how small. It doesn’t have to be to some old man in the sky, just be grateful in general.

Sounds corny, right? But body and mind work together and you can’t neglect your body without repercussions in the way your brain works and vice versa. A lot of times we feel depressed because we feel disconnected. And if we’re grateful for what we do have and use it to the best of our ability at any given time, it helps a LOT.

A lot of times we feel depressed and disconnected because our thoughts are steering us in the wrong direction, and we mistakenly believe we are our thoughts. We are not. I’ve recommended it before and I will again: Feeling Good by David Burns breaks it down very simply and gives you some other tools that can help you help yourself. Once you are free from the spiral of nasty thoughts, the things that you feel deeply and passionately about will become clearer. The best are ones that connect you to people in positive ways. You’ll know it when it happens.

And don’t beat yourself up if things aren’t happening as quickly as you’d like. It takes time to feel like you’re in a place where depression isn’t pressing down on the healthier parts of yourself; just keep doing the work, examine your thoughts objectively, examine your behavior towards yourself and others objectively and keep going from there. I’m working my way out of a deep funk right now because I pushed away from doing this hard work earlier in my life and I’ve paid dearly for it. Being here to be able to answer questions like this helps a lot.

Good luck to you!

adreamofautumn's avatar

That feeling is definitely within my normal range of feelings…honestly exercise is the best immediate relief from it. In the long term I spend a lot of time writing, reading and making insane plans that may never happen (move to another country, bike across the USA, etc) in intricate detail. Even if they aren’t exactly realistic, they give me a sense of purpose for a short while.

exitnirvana's avatar

When I feel that way, I start to ignore the bigger picture for a while and try to focus on the little, day to day things that bring a smile to my face. Life is overwhelming sometimes, so its much easier to handle it while dissected then confronting it all at once. Short-term goals are key :)

augustlan's avatar

I feel this way on a semi-regular basis. I’ve suffered with depression for pretty much my whole life. While it is under control for the most part (thank you Effexor!), bits and pieces of it come back from time to time – especially in the winter. Once I realize what is going on, I usually take a day and wallow in it. Let yourself really feel all those crappy feelings. When you’re all cried out, dust yourself off and move back into the world. One thing that I cannot stress enough: It will get better. It always does. Hold on to that thought, no matter what.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther