How do you turn your brain off?

Do things that require full concetration and leave you little or no time for thinking.

Alcohol won’t help.

I’m sorry you lost someone.

You either have to let it go or figure out a way (on your own) to shut it out. That’s pretty much it unless you want to go the route of taking medication and/or talking to a shrink, but it’s a break-up not a divorce. Life goes on.

Try concentrating really hard on your breathing. Try yoga, in which you concentrate really hard on your breathing in different poses, so you really don’t have any time to think.

Keep yourself busy. Fluther a lot. Go out with friends. Pick up a new hobby. Get involved. Volunteer. Soon, you will find yourself thinking about this person less and less, simply because your mind is occupied with other things.

I’ve also convinced myself that I can stop my organs from working when I’m really high, but I don’t think that’s what you’re aiming for…

I am really sorry to hear it. I would try to pick up something you always wanted to learn. Preferably in a setting with others.

Hmm… Anybody have any tips on learning to play bass guitar? I bought one, played Money a few thousand times, then gave up. Maybe I’ll take it back up.

Do something to take you out of yourself. Find somebody who needs your help. Tutor someone. Take a class and study like crazy. Paint your house. Take that guitar down to the music shop with you and ask who gives lessons. Do something you’ve never done before, something that creates brand new memories that have nothing to do with your ex. Wallowing is the wrong answer, and trying to drink it away is really just a wallow.

Breathe, be kind to yourself and don’t deny the pain. Eventually it will go away but it takes longer if you don’t give yourself permission to feel the pain. You won’t die although it feels like you will at times.

What you resist persists.

I have a switch underneath a flap of skin behind my left ear.

Oh Chuck… You’ve got it all so damn well figured out…

Drown yourself in booze and cocaine.

and sarcasm

^ BAD IDEA

1. Take a notebook, write down the problems due to which you had to leave the relationship in the first place (whenever you get sad, take a look at this note)
2. Write down all the annoying things about your Ex
3. Try to dispose photographs, soft toys, things associated with your Ex
4. Try to be more sociable, mingle with friends…...the worst thing you can do now is to be alone and brood about the past.

If I want to turn my brain off I wake up.

Stay busy, like suggested above – a lot of good advice; however, you need to understand that sometimes, you need to process the pain. I know you don’t want to do it all at once, that’s okay, but don’t run from it – eventually, it catches up.

Deal with what you can, then get busy doing things, again. Eventually, you’ll think about it less and less – it takes time.

How about exercising? You can occupy time, keep yourself busy, and generally sleep better when you do get to bed. (I always find it hardest to turn my mind off when I’m trying to fall asleep)...

I also tend to be less stressed when I’m getting out to do something regularly, which can only be a good thing.

I’m sorry to hear about the breakup, good luck.

Another thing: Make sure you give yourself time to grieve. Suppressing it all and not giving yourself time to think about it won’t get you over it as quickly. Maybe give yourself an hour today, then in a few days cut back to 45 minutes, then a few days after that, half an hour, then a little bit after that, 20 minutes, and so on and so forth, until you only need five minute and then no time at all. Allowing yourself to do this will also make you promise to yourself that you won’t think about it otherwise, though, and that’s when the other activities come into play.

@TitsMcGhee – Good point! Trumi, As always, all our problems begin and end with tits!

@Bri_L: I try to do more of the latter, but, you know…

@TitsMcGhee – No request for change was meant. Just a compliment to a well thought out contribution on your part and a bad joke based on a homer simpson quote.

Art. Pull out the crayons and play-doh.

I find taking pictures or videos of things that interest me can help pass the time.

Television.

Youtube.

Throw self on bed and cry little heart out. Get up, dust self off, and move forward. Repeat as necessary.

I’m sorry you’re going through this trumi. {hugs}

Running!

nikipedia, you fucking beat me to it! (so ga from me) i had this huge revelation over the last few days that i don’t run because “i love running” like i always thought. i run to turn my brain off. i literally cannot think about anything when i’m running even if i wanted to, which i don’t. i just let the loud backbeats of the music i listen to pound in my ears and keep putting one step in front of the other while i admire the scenery. it’s better than getting drunk.

When something absolutely won’t leave my mind, I write it down. I just get out a journal or even on my private blog and just write/type every negative thought that comes into my head. It’s like venting to someone, but without having their input. I find it very relieving.

alcohol

@crisedwards That too. Though usually not the best choice, for me anyway.

@Bri_L: Well, I do like compliments….

@essieness: I write too, but since my last breakup, I haven’t been able to write as poetically as I used to… Hmmmm…

@TitsMcGhee Hmmm, is right. I had something really profound to say and I forgot what it was. sigh

Buy every TV series there is. Watch them since you wake up until you absolutely need to sleep. A wine bottle along would be great as well. The next day, repeat.

I have been going through this, too. I have the “always something there to remind me” problem. It’s been over a month since the breakup, so it is getting a little better.

I have been keeping busy by going to the gym (swimming laps is my equivalent to running, with the rhythm of the strokes and focusing on the breath); but I also enjoy the yoga classes.

I’ve also joined some social groups that go for walks and get together for various activities. This gets me out of the house and introduces me to new people and activities.

When the emotions get a bit too much, I write in my journal. If I’m unable to write at that moment, I will use logic to help ease my mind, because as much as it hurts, I know that it is his mistake and his loss.

Your circumstances may be different. If there are regrets and perhaps some guilt that you are troubled by, you may want to compose a letter to express that. But take your time – days or weeks even – to put it together, review, edit, analyze and revise. When something pops up in my head that I want to say or ask, I jot it down (I use the Notes app on the iPhone – very handy) then incorporate it into my letter (or journal entry).

Doing this seems to help me take a step back and examine the situation a bit more objectively. It has helped me recognize the things I did that contributed to the problems we had.

What nags at me in the middle of the night are those questions that only he can answer. Unresolved confusion and contradictions tend to eat away at me. So accepting that he probably doesn’t really know the answers himself is all I can do to comfort myself.

This relationship was a short one for me, but it was a life-changing experience. So I recognize that while I am sad that he gave up on us; I am a better person for having known and loved him.

I hope it helps you to know that you’re not alone, and that some if my suggestions will be beneficial to you. Hang in there.

Dancing, meditation workshops, walking meditations, jamming with a few friends. These things can help you get out of your word mind and into your body mind. If you are there, you can’t think about whatever it is you don’t want to think about. Even though, when you come out of it, you can think about it, it’s not quite as bad. The effect, I have found lasts anywhere from an hour to a day. I’ve heard it lasts even longer for other people.

The point is not so much how you do it—you’ll find your own way— it is that you do it, and that you spend some time figuring out what works best for you.

Ambien

sleep more