General Question

departed's avatar

Can a gay man fall in love with a woman?

Asked by departed (63 points ) March 23rd, 2009
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

20 Answers

skfinkel's avatar

What do you mean by love? And why not?

syz's avatar

I guess that would be up to the gay man in question. You’re lumping a whole lotta people into one description.

cwilbur's avatar

Can a straight man fall in love with another man?

Liztarsh's avatar

yes! love is about two people finding each other. not about gender.

Jeruba's avatar

I don’t see anything wrong with the question. It isn’t about all gay men, nor does it presume that any action would follow. I think it asks if it is possible for some one man who self-identifies as a homosexual to develop a romantic type of emotional attachment to a woman.

I don’t see why not. If any gay man can say yes to this, then there’s one case, and that’s all it takes to answer the question affirmatively. But being neither male nor gay, I’m no authority.

@departed, we often use the “Details” section of a question to amplify a little bit, set some context and maybe give an example, so responders know where we’re coming from.

Dansedescygnes's avatar

“Gay” is just a label that people apply to themselves because they view it as the most accurate label to describe them. Someone may find that they’ve only been attracted to men so far, but then later may discover an attraction to a woman. Technically that means they’re bisexual. But if they want to continue to identify as “gay” for convenience purposes or just for themselves, then fine. So yes, it is possible.

marinelife's avatar

Welcome to the collective.

It depends on your definition of love. Since love ranges from the platonic to the spiritual to the sexual, of course. Romantic love is from a hostorical standpoint a fairly modern construct.

Is it likely? Probably no more likely that a heterosexual person falling for a person of the same sex. In this day and age, very unlikely.

aviona's avatar

I have a friend who considers himself gay and pretty recently ended a very long relationship with a woman. It was very dramatic. They lived in Florida together and he actually moved back here to California to get away from it all. She got pregnant…long story, like I said, very dramatic. I’m pretty sure they loved each other.
But then would you call him bi?

Zaku's avatar

Possible for some, sure.

marinelife's avatar

Edit: historical (Bad typing skills strike again.)

delirium's avatar

As Ani Difranco says: Love is genderless.
As Ms. Delirium says: Sex isn’t.

delirium's avatar

Also the “Can a man love a woman” song is stuck in my head now.

essieness's avatar

I think this is interesting. I work with several gay guys, and last week one of them asked me out. On a date. He was very serious. Another one has shown some interest in me too. Both have recently ended relationships with men and I’m not sure if they’re just feeling jaded and wanting to try out something different for a while or what. It’s flattering, but I would be hesitant to accept an offer for a date for fear that it might turn out to be a phase. Plus I’m involved with someone else.

Jeruba's avatar

Should you introduce them to each other? They do seem to have certain tastes in common.

essieness's avatar

@Jeruba I know right? They dislike each other actually…

alive's avatar

ya sure. i think anyone can be in love with anyone… but really what it comes down to is a “mental block” if you reject a certain gender as even a possibility then it is very unlikely that you would ever fall in love with someone of that gender (or sex, depending).

plus when you add gender bending into all this, it can get quite confusing. straight womnn dating F to M trans person. or straight man dating M to F person. or gay man dating F to M person, or a lesbian dating M to F person. it is all very complicated but i think if your mind is open to many sexual possibilities you might fall for someone you did not expect to (based on their traits, not their sex/ gender)

i suggest the movie Chasing Amy to answer this question (it is about a lez falling in love with a dude, but same concept, AND it has jay and silent bob! a total plus!)

as the “famous” line from the L Word goes, “most people are straight until they are gay. and gay until they are straight.” haha

timeand_distance's avatar

If they drink enough, sure.

caeliste's avatar

As a lesbian, I would say that the chances are slim, but anything is possible. For me, though, I can be sexually attracted to men but I don’t develop romantic emotional attachments with them. That only happens with women.

dqhertype's avatar

There seems to be something in the air. This is somewhat happening to me, or at least it seems that way. Suddenly, men that I strongly associated with being gay and gay only are, if I’m not reading my cards incorrectly, dropping maybe not so subtle hints.
Now, no one can gauge how superficial or not this stage of the game may end up but I am human and with a reasonable amount of practical intuition that leads me to believe to an extent, yes…. this is possible.

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