Women, what devices do you use to talk to men in bars, do you make the first move?

Smile and say hi. Find something silly to comment on. “Nice shoes! Are they Puma?” Guys are pretty easy…
The best thing (maybe the only good thing, actually) about being a smoker is being able to ask cute guys for a light.

So THAT’S why they asked me for a light? I wish I knew!

@Mr_M it could also be that they just wanted a light :)

I’ve only ever been to a bar as company with others so I don’t talk to strange men.

Don’t go to bars, and don’t talk to random men in bars. If I ever had the inclination to go to a bar, one of the major deterrents would be being hit on by men there.

Maybe if I got to the point where I was unable to meet people in a way where at least part of the initial meeting was not superficial attraction, i’d consider it. But in all honesty, i’m not into meeting people for the first time when the prime motivation is sexual or romantic… i do much better when both of us are also motivated merely to be friends (even if there is attraction).

I am not beautiful or one that people want to even think about hitting on
but I am loud and outgoing and tend to be the one buying the drinks for men when I am interested

@Likeradar Way to tear down Mr_M’s ego. :)

@dearest_prudence It takes a really admirable (if maybe unconscious, on your part) the guts/outgoingness to do stuff like that!

I hate bars BECAUSE I get hit on men there.

Prudence: Its really not a matter of beauty as much as it is a matter of having breasts.

@resmc- thanx, I think
but it is something that I now except w/open arms

@delerium- I have breasts
I am now down to a d-cup thank you very much
breasts are all over the place, it takes more than that

@dearest_prudence Is it a trait that just comes naturally? Or does it take effort? (or even a little of both?)

It depends, the easy, subtle way is to make and keep eye contact. But of course guys can be daft so sometimes you have to get close and touch lightly.

If they are particularly daft you might have to get up and rub gainst them. If they don’t get that they are lost cause.

I’m not so much interested in people’s judgments towards people that go to bars, I’m just a bit shy and would like to know what you, women do to break the ice?

Don’t worry, tara, we do actually understand.

I usually find that giving them something that THEY can mention and smiling at them to encourage them works.

For example, i’m almost always sketching and practicing life drawing. I usually hide it, but can be more blatant if I feel inclined. With an encouraging smile they almost always are inclined to sit down and ask. Then before they walk away again, introduce yourself. That usually starts conversation back up.

@resmc- it comes quite natural, as long as I am comfortable w/the people I am out with. If I feel a need to inhibit myself, I probably wouldn’t be out w/them in the first place I guess

You know I wonder how much different bars are in NZ compared to US? Could it be that different?

@dearest_prudence – There’s actually a chance i may have that trait, to a lesser degree. But the conditions needed for me to be that comfortable in my surroundings are rather rare… and those aren’t the exact same conditions needed for me to be out with friends. Those first conditions also probably has something to do about my ‘intuition’ (not really intuition-intuition, more assumptions based on possibly incorrect superficial details) about the guy in question, tho. Tys for shedding some light on what otherwise was a rather odd occasional extroversion!

@resmc what does [rather odd occasional extroversion!] mean?

@tara3845

How similar are Kiwis to Aussies? Australian pubs are vastly different than American ones.
America is a strange place, and I’ve lived here most my life.

@ Am not strictly either intro- or extro-verted. It takes a certain mood, and most notably a certain group of people around me to be very extroverted, and even more to be that assertive(tho it’s still a sort of extroversion, maybe? not sure, am beginning to confuse myself XD) along with that. (Meaning, having that much assertiveness to be bold that way with guys i don’t know).

[that was supposed to be @dearest_prudence… unable to edit that in, sorry]

@resmc, thank you