General Question

upholstry's avatar

What do you do if you're lonely?

Asked by upholstry (683 points ) March 31st, 2009

I, um, knew a guy, who I heard was lonely, in his thirties and not especially attractive, outgoing, or good at meeting women. What does he do with his life?

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22 Answers

Mr_M's avatar

Rule number 1: If he is overweight, he MUST diet.

A_Beaverhausen's avatar

or get a hobby…

AstroChuck's avatar

As long as I have Fluther, I’m never lonely.

Hokey but true.

tiffyandthewall's avatar

there’s this lyric that was the first thing to pop into my head, and it’s like, “i’ll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations, with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection”

i think enjoying your own company is kind of the first step. you can strive to be who you want to be, but don’t be down on yourself in the meantime.

rooeytoo's avatar

I talk to my dogs and take them for a walk. So I would tell him to get a dog!

Facade's avatar

cry :(
@rooeytoo I wish I had a dog

Mr_M's avatar

Try photography.

Bagardbilla's avatar

We are all attractive on the inside to someone. Fortunetly, for us guys, women are far more forgiving in this aspect.
So tell your “Um” guy friend, that he should not judge himself so harshly, learn to love himself, and the sense of serenity and confidence which will spring from doing so will itself be attractive to those women we all love so much.
Good luck!—“um” to your friend.—

Poser's avatar

There are lots and lots of lonely people out there (just ask Elanor Rigby). Our society tends to alienate people. The best bet for your…um…friend, is to get out and volunteer. Hospitals, nursing homes, youth projects. Lonliness is a selfish emotion, it is a form of self-pity. When we do something for someone else, the reward goes to them as well as ourselves.

nayeight's avatar

I don’t know, I’m pretty lonely myself. Maybe he could find another lonely person to spend time with.

intro24's avatar

Join a local club or get involved in a good web community (like Fluther).

kevinhardy's avatar

your hobbies, watch a movie, exercise, make firends online

kevinhardy's avatar

hug yourself, its from an old book

RedPowerLady's avatar

Volunteer and go to community events. I do both and there are lots of not especially attractive or outgoing people who go to the same events and/or also volunteer. They get tons of friends because its a great bonding experience. It also forces you to go because you commit to the event, so you can’t change your mind when it comes time to go.

chicadelplaya's avatar

Call a friend, watch some favorite shows or movies for a good laugh, read, drink some red wine, facebook, etc…

Amoebic's avatar

Web communities are great social avenues. What other things are they interested in? Do they have hobbies or interests? If your um, friend has either one of those, there are probably online groups for people who do those things.

VS's avatar

Some very old advice from a very old source: To HAVE a friend you must first BE a friend. I grew up as an only child, so loneliness is not something I have often experienced. I have spent a great deal of my life alone and liked it. I have a husband and a grown son, but even now sometimes, I feel like I just want to be by myself. I am rarely disappointed in my own company.
I would suggest your um, friend, make every effort to get out as much as possible and meet new friends. You never know when a friend will have a friend that will be just who you were looking for in your life. Um, I mean, in your friend’s life.

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