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aviona's avatar

What is the defintion of "rebounding" after a relationship?

Asked by aviona (3237 points ) April 5th, 2009

How would you characterize it?

Does it have to be a one night stand necessarily? With a stranger? Is there a certain time period it has to fall within after the breakup to be considered a “rebound?” If so, how long after the breakup and is there a direct connection, do you think, to how long the relationship, itself, lasted? If it is more consistent and occurs more than once with the same is it still a rebound or is that bordering on a new relationship? Opinions/experiences?

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14 Answers

MrGV's avatar

To me it’s more of a short term relationship to help the person get over their ex.

ohmyword's avatar

Nailing someone else, dating someone else, or kissing anyone else in a too soon time frame. It’s “rebounding” because it can’t be a real relationship. That’s how I’ve always defined it at least.

adreamofautumn's avatar

Oh i’m an expert at rebounding. In my opinion it’s getting into a situation (usually seeing someone else, sometimes just sleeping with someone else) incredibly soon after the end of a relationship, in hopes of easing the pain of losing the relationship.

aviona's avatar

hahah @adreamofautumn “Oh I’m an expert at rebounding.”

@everyone…what about the time frame. A week after the breakup? Say it’s a month or two months later, would you still consider that a rebound or does that have nothing to do with it? Does it solely lie within the intention of “getting over” the previous relationship?

ohmyword's avatar

It obviously depends on the length of the previous relationship… but if I had to generalize, I’d say anywhere from the first week to the first month and a half. After about two months, it’s no longer a legitimate “rebound”.

adreamofautumn's avatar

@aviona I think it has to do with where you are emotionally. If it’s been a year and you haven’t dated anyone and you’re still in love with your ex and just trying to get over them, it’s still a rebound.

YARNLADY's avatar

I don’t think a time frame is the guide. If someone goes out with people they don’t even like, or still has feelings for their former, than it’s a rebound.

fundevogel's avatar

I’m pretty sure its just drowning your sorrows in another person’s genitals.

Be responsible, hit the bottle not the blonde.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Not everyone goes through rebounding, and it’s not a necessary part of getting over a relationship. Rebounding can either be a one night stand, or dating someone for awhile that’s not really your type.

Among my friends, one got divorced at 45 from a man who made her feel worthless. She became friendly with, and subsequently slept with, her 25 year old tennis instructor. Twice. It gave her confidence, made her feel desirable. She met the man she’s engaged to by happenstance in her neighborhood. Another friend is dating man from an entirely different background than her own, who makes her feel attractive. She cannot picture him fitting into her life in the long term, but he’s interesting, and she likes being with him.

From my own experience, depending on the nature of the breakup, there is a tendency to want to find a person either exactly like your ex, if the break-up was not your choice, or the polar opposite, if you left the relationship for a reason. Happiness probably lies somewhere between the two extremes.

zephyr826's avatar

Some told me once that for every 6 months a relationship lasts, the recovery period is at least a month. Thus, for a 3 year relationship, the rebound would occur during the six months following. Of course, that’s just an average.

cwilbur's avatar

It’s when you enter into a relationship that you might not otherwise have entered into, before you have recovered from the end of the prior relationship, because you can’t stand being single.

It’s not about time so much as it is about emotional state.

wundayatta's avatar

It sounds to me that a rebound relationship is something you do to take your mind off the ex. You’re having fun, and not expecting anything else. The problem is when you start having feelings for the person. You wonder if those feelings are real or if they are overly influenced by your desire to be in a relationship, and to put a bandaid on the pain you feel from your loss.

The problem is that it could be either. The feelings could be real, related to the person, or they might be the bandaid. Unfortunately, the bandaid/reality problem can happen two weeks after to two years after. It all depends.

I think if you have feelings for the new person, it is worth allowing them to develop, to see what happens. You want to be cautious, but not too cautious. If the feelings are mutual, he’ll understand. He won’t push you any faster than you want to go. If he’s pushing you beyond your comfort zone, that’s a sign (but not a perfect sign) you’re doing the rebound thing.

Why? Are you seeing someone? Do you like him more than you thought you would?

SeventhSense's avatar

@fundevogel
LOL drowning your sorrows in another person’s genitals.
I guess it all depends upon the size of the pool

Macaulay's avatar

I don’t think anyone can put a time limit on “rebounding.” When you’re in that situation, you’ll know – regardless of time.

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