General Question

Myndecho's avatar

Parents do you care about your children seeing porn?

Asked by Myndecho (945 points ) April 7th, 2009
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

48 Answers

Mr_M's avatar

Well, not in CHURCH! That’s for sure!

MissAusten's avatar

Yes. I would be very upset if my children were exposed to porn. However, they are 10, 5, and 4. If they were older, I’d certainly try to be more understanding about it. Curiosity is only natural, and I’d want them to understand the difference between porn and real life.

Besides, it’s only a matter of time before they find the stash of Playboys.

Jude's avatar

I think that it’s wrong. Period.

Myndecho's avatar

@jmah
Could you elaborate on why? I’m not saying I agree or disagree.

Chattty1's avatar

I think when the childs mind is just being formed with ideals and what they think about themselves and others it is important to protect them from pornographic images so it doesn’t confuse their sexual or individual identity in their future. Porn is usally fantasy acts and does not reflect reality, I think a child that is exposed to those images at a yound age is apt to be confused about sex and have a distorted view about his or her sexuality in the future.

casheroo's avatar

Porn, as in people having sex? Or pictures of naked people?
Depends on his age, and the content.

Myndecho's avatar

@Chattty1
I have always heard this but this isn’t a easy thing to prove. Like most people my age I’ve seen porn from a early age, I’ve seen shows saying boys are unsatisfied with the size of their penis because of porn, and maybe this is true personally I like the size of my man hood and I don’t THINK porn has effected my feeling about sex.

A_Beaverhausen's avatar

how old are your children? i mean, elementary aged children shouldnt be subjected to that! thats illegal im pretty sure. once they hit puberty i would say is the point at which its appropriate.

Likeradar's avatar

@A_Beaverhausen I think it’s appropriate for children of any age to see tasteful naked people. We all have bodies, they’re nothing to be ashamed of. And teenagers know about sex, so I don’t think we should pretend like it doesn’t exist or that they’re not curious or having it. But I think porn is totally not appropriate when a child hits puberty. So much porn puts women in a position of submission and features bodies outside the norm. Children’s bodies often hit puberty before their minds are even close to mature- I would have a huge problem with my (future, hypothetical) child being intentionally exposed to porn when they are 10, 11, 12… porn is for mentally mature and healthy adults.

bananafish's avatar

@Likeradar, I was going to post my own answer, but you obviously are reading my mind. You said it!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@A_Beaverhausen You don’t have kids, do you? Appropriate? NOT!!!

casheroo's avatar

@jbfletcherfan Wait, what? She is giving her opinion..just because she does not have children yet, does not mean she can’t have an opinion…

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I don’t have children either, but if I did, I agree completely with Likeradar.

Most porn distorts the reality of sexual activity. It places not only unrealistic expectations on body image, but also presents a number of questionable fantasies (like women being extremely submissive to the point it’s disgusting, or flat out being degraded for the sexual satisfaction of a male) that no child would be able to analyze. They literally would not be able to objectively analyze what they would be seeing, because their brains are not even done developing. Watching porn that young has the potential to create and shape what kind of sexual creature they become and I don’t think that’s fair at all.

wundayatta's avatar

I have a girl and a boy, ages 12 and 9. A year or two ago, the popup protection on our computer stopped working, and my daughter, who was trying to get to webkins or something, came to us, saying that there was something disgusting on the screen, and she really didn’t want to see it.

It was a come-on (no pun intended) for a porn site. I was impressed that my daughter knew that she didn’t want to see this, and that it was very inappropriate for her. I fixed the pop-up and virus protection, and we haven’t had any problems since then.

As to nudity…
Last night, we were talking about paintings in the house. My mother-in-law has recently moved to a nursing home, and her children have sold the house to pay for her care. They have been distributing the furniture and whatnot from the house. My mother-in-law is a painter, and there were something like 200 paintings in the house that had to go somewhere. So a lot of them are coming here.

We were talking about where they might go, and the kids got interested in discussing the content of existing paintings. In particular, they wanted to discuss a very large painting, painted by my brother (also, obviously, an artist).

The theme of the painting is hypocrisy, and it shows a Puritan wandering through the woods (on his way to meet with the devil, but still, he’s got his Bible in his hand), and he sees all these devilish things, so, despite the fact that he’s cutting a deal with the devil, he throws up his hands in horror. There’s a satyr hanging upside down to one side of his field of view, and a nude woman, lying on the ground, painted in a sort of classical style.

The kids, of course, had to deal with the naked woman when trying to understand the painting. My daughter was able to talk about her, but clearly, my son was much less comfortable. We’ve never given out any messages that bodies are bad or nudity is bad or anything. But still, my son won’t get undressed in front of anyone. He is reluctant to go to summer camp because of that. He’ll change in a toilet stall instead of in a locker room.

So it goes. It’s not porn, but still, I think it’s clear that both my kids are uncomfortable in one way or another. My son by any nudity at all, and my daughter, by explicit sexual images.

My attitude is that this stuff is out there in the world, and they need to know how to handle themselves if they get exposed to it. Clearly they are not interested, even disgusted by it, which is fine. I just don’t want them coming on it unexpectedly, and being shocked or dismayed, or having their psyches hurt in some way or another.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@casheroo I didn’t mean that Beaverhausen couldn’t express her opinion. That’s NOT what I meant at all. What I MEANT was that if she had kids, she may think a little differently about it. I think having your own children makes you a little more protective of them as to what they witness. Letting kids puberty age see porn is just wrong, IN MY OPINION.

mamabeverley's avatar

I agree that letting younger teenage kids see porn is wrong, but they are. We cannot stop it. My 6th grader came home a told me a boy brought a Playboy so school, so I guess it could be worse! As to distorted body issues, has anybody bought a Cosmo lately? How about a Hanna Montana doll? Those girls are so skinny you know they are starving! When Miley Cirus(sp) did that Vanity Fair layout, they all talked about how controversial it was,(too much skin) I did not hear one person talk about how you could count every rib on her body! Before we worry about porn which if you are careful, will be less accessable, we should worry about what they see everyday and don’t realise how it is affecting them.

A_Beaverhausen's avatar

no. but i was a kid.

Jack79's avatar

My daughter is 4, so yes, I think she’s a tad young for it.

Though she’d probably just wonder why all those people are naked but haven’t jumped into the swimming pool yet.

Horus515's avatar

Depends on the age of the children. My boy is 7 months old and I would be shocked. SHOCKED! And dismayed at the prospect. When he is in high school I will not be suprised. Afterall I once hid a playboy in the gutter spout outside my parents house when I was 12. Then one day it rained :(.

DREW_R's avatar

After they hit puberty it is their call. I wont supply it but it doesn’t bother me if they indulge safely of course. They will anyway with or without your approval.

joshua23's avatar

i am not a parent but i was exposed to pornography at an early age and it has been hell for me with relationships and finding myself it is still very difficult for me but i am still trying to find a way to get better about it i am up to any suggestions i am a 23 year old male

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

my kids are 3 years and 3 months so I don’t think they’d care if they were watching porn and I don’t see a need to show them, whatsoever

however, later on, I think it’s fine

CMaz's avatar

I remember when I caught my son (he was 15) watching a porn in his room. He had a VCR player and a sweet 32 inch TV.

That weekend we had a garage sale and both items were sold. That was a privilege that from that point on had to be earned. Otherwise, he had to watch TV in the living room.

As a parent, it broke my heart that my Son would never see life the same again at such a young age.
The video consisting of two big bucks with a severe case of elephantiasis between their legs tag teaming this petite young girl.

CMaz's avatar

Well, life is harsh. And, life is about consequences to your actions.

As a parent you provide for your child. You offer opportunities and things just because you love them. If they fail to appreciate it or are mot mature enough to handle it. The next time around it is on their dime.

It is called accountability, and that IS what makes or breaks the world from going round and round.
It is done out of love, because the world is a harsh place.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

I’m unsure of what age group of children you’re referring to but I wouldn’t approve of my young (1–14 yr old) child seeing porn. Eventually most kids get curious and search the Internet but I’d hope to keep my kids from seeing that kind of thing until at least age 15.

dutchbrossis's avatar

I agree with Simone. Later on it is fine. I definitely wouldn’t punish my 15 year old for watching it. That seems way to harsh to me also.

CMaz's avatar

“I definitely wouldn’t punish my 15 year old for watching it. ”

I would and have. Some things have to just be a line in the sand.

dutchbrossis's avatar

I know. I saw your answer. That just seems ridiculous, kids, teenagers especially get curious and watch that stuff. That doesn’t mean take away their tv and vcr for having hormones and trying to learn about their sexuality.

MissAusten's avatar

@dutchbrossis I’d be concerned about a teen trying to learn about sexuality by watching porn. Porn is fantasy, and my priority as a parent would be to help my child develop healthy attitudes about sex and members of the opposite sex. Finding out a my teen had been watching porn would prompt a serious conversation about the differences between porn (fantasy) and sex (reality).

Then I’d have a drink or three.

dutchbrossis's avatar

@MissAusten i understand that and a conversation like you said is a good thing. Make sure they understand certain things. I was just saying that punishing them for being curious is just ridiculous

CMaz's avatar

“kids, teenagers especially get curious *and watch that stuff.”

If it is provided for them to watch.
What they have and see, while in your home. Directly or indirectly, comes from the parents.

dutchbrossis's avatar

If it is provided for them to watch.
What they have and see, while in your home. Directly or indirectly, comes from the parents

While in your home yes, but while they are out of your home they are exposed to different things. Then with parents that will punish them for being curious, will try to be sneaky about it in the home.

CMaz's avatar

I smoked pot when I was out with my friends. I did not smoke pot in my house.

#1 It’s called respect and its lesson is broad and long reaching.
#2 My parents did not leave pot around for me to smoke.
#3 If I got caught high or with pot. I got what I deserved for being disrespectful and irresponsible.

Never experienced #3. :-)

dutchbrossis's avatar

So you would rather not have an open relationship with your kids, but whatever they do that you don’t want them doing you want them doing it outside your house so you will really have no clue what they are doing ?

CMaz's avatar

Never said that. Open relationship is all about respect.

You just don’t get a subscription for Playboy while on my watch. Handled properly, it will be respected.

dutchbrossis's avatar

So it is okay if your kid goes somewhere else and gets playboy and reads it there, then it is okay because at least it is not under your watch. So it is respectful to do it behind your back ?

CMaz's avatar

Been there done that, we all have to some extent. Just understand the proper way to navigate those waters.

These discussions become nothing more then I want, I have and you are not going to take it away from me. THAT is childish behavior. That is were parents come in to teach their children how not to get in that situation and avoid that mindset.

Re read my pot analogy.

One day you (generally speaking) will be free to do what ever you want. Hopefully you will have the self control and respect of others for it to not get you into trouble.

That is what a parents job is and there is a time for everything.
Under their roof it is time to learn.

dutchbrossis's avatar

So let me get this straight. You want respect, you have respect, and no one is going to take it away from you ? That is childish, according to you. As far as under the roof is a time to learn, that is correct, much better they go out into the streets, maybe a mans house they meet and watch porn, not under your roof. Or you could explain to them that is not what love or sex is really like, but thinking that you can control a 15 year old boy from being curious and watching porn is ridiculous. I couldn’t see punishing my child for natural curiosity, better he does it in my house then someone elses

CMaz's avatar

You seem to be getting punishment and following the rules (respect) mixed up.

dutchbrossis's avatar

hmmmm. Looks like you avoided everything else that was said and said that I am “mixed up”

Ron_C's avatar

I they can read the bible, they are already exposed to porn so you might as well let them watch it too.

I kept my kid away from both. Kids have a hard enough time growing up these days. There is no reason to subject them to further mental abuse.

CMaz's avatar

Come on @Ron_C. :-)
You are comparing “Bible Porn” to to a “sweet sexy girl” getting tag teamed by a room full of big bucks. Or a couple of chicks taking turns with a horse?

Ron_C's avatar

@ChazMaz IU guess you’re right. The bible is much more sadistic and nasty.

CMaz's avatar

I’ll give you that. ;-)

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Hmmm good question. Though I may not be a parent I would be upset depending on the age. any where between 0–11 is no good to me and I would punish them. any where between 12— when you die is more acceptable since they are older and it’s more understand able. I’m only thirteen to let everyone know and I know my mom or sister wouldn’t allow it since I would be “teaching” my self to disrespect women. But I do know the difference between porn and reality. But on this subject. If they asked anything I would help ‘em out on it. I would only allow it to certain circumstances.

Ron_C's avatar

By the way I agree with @ChazMaz selling his kid’s TV and VCR. Besides I don’t like the idea of a TV in the bedroom. For kids, I think it fosters anti-social behavior and kids with raging hormones don’t need that added temptation.

What surprises me is that so many people think that ChazMaz’s punishment was harsh. I think it works to bring balance back into the home and lets the kids know that there are definite lines that cannot be crossed. Kids need boundaries, consistency, and reasonable rules for behavior.

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