Do you, or anyone you know, have a child with ODD? If so, have you found anything that helps?

Oppositional Defiant Disorder?
Just to clarify.

yes

I do not have a child with ODD, but I have professional experience in the area. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is the best cognitive therapy I have come across. ODD is not a chemical diagnosis. There is probably some underlying imbalance which can be handled with meds. These are very difficult kids; seek a therapist, for him as well as yourself.

Not my own son, but a nephew: One thing that is overlooked by most treatment programs is exercise. Sis got a private tutor for her son, and he goes swimming every single day of the year, before any lessons or other formal training. The family also rides bikes together every evening. Sis lost weight to a very healthy size, and nephew thrives.

He gets his social conditioning through Little League Baseball, Soccer, and Boy Scouts, where he has advanced to a Junior Camp Counselor, all supervised activities.

It’s my daughter who is 11 and she has seen counselors and theraists and psychiatrists and lots others for years now. On top of the ODD, she is also hyper (gets it honest, go figure) AND she is profoundly gifted with an IQ somewhere in the 140’s or above (they can’t get an accurate measure because, according to the last person to /try/ to test her….“she’s not taking this serious, she’s just playing with me”.....and yet she still scored a 144). Anyway, she takes concerta to help take the edge off the hyperness, and seroquel for…........well, I’m not sure any more. I know it’s an antipsychotic, but I’m not sure I remember why it was originally prescribed. She is literally too smart for her own good, she hates being different, hates being smart, has a very hard time making friend (despite all the activities we keep her in), and I’m tired of all the docs just wanting to throw meds at the problem. Even before she ever started school, we knew she was different…..........special….........but it took her getting expelled from Christian School kindergarden to really start pushing us to find out just how “special”. Now, all these years later, we still have nothing solid to work with and no new leads for anything good to try. I think I’m starting to get desperate.

@hyperlilredhead May I suggest you go online and find a support group near you? My Sis swears that her “group” has saved her life.

I didn’t know there were support groups for such things, but, seeing as there are support groups for just about everything under the sun, I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ll see what I can find. Thanks

My son is ODD, as well as ADD and Bipolar. We have known he was “different” since he was three, but over the years have gradually come to know how different. He is 14 now and so far (knock on wood) never been arrested, but he has had to be hospitalized a number of times for attempting suicide and for out-of-control aggression.

I find that Tenex (aka Guanfacine) helps lessen the amount of anger he seems to feel and reduces agitation. It may not work the same for everyone, but we can see him visibly relaxing within 15 minutes of taking it.

Exercise that he likes helps (in our case bicycling, baseball, and SCUBA). It should be a mix of organized sports so he can work on social skills, and free form exercising, such as cycling, so he can go as hard or as easy as he wants. Also, adrenalin-fueled sports will sometimes give an ODD child the “kick” they would otherwise get from anger, so they learn more productive ways to feel good.

A regular sleep cycle is absolutely essential because no one functions at their best without the right amount of sleep. It is just so much more obvious with someone who is ODD. Often Seroquel is prescribed because it makes people sleepy and so can help him go to sleep when he should. My son takes 800 mgs at night which will get him to go to sleep in about 30 minutes if we can get him to lie still. He also needs the Seroquel because when he is going into his manic phase he tends to hallucinate.

Therapy with the right therapist helps. This is not just for the child but also for you. It can be a lonely struggle living with someone who is ODD, and it is great to be able to kvetch to someone who can also help you map out better or just different strategies.

Also, learn to pick your battles. Some things matter a lot more than others. If your child wants to wear mismatched socks, so what? But if your child wants to break something, especially if it isn’t theirs, or hurt someone then that is a battle to fight. You need to learn how to hide your “buttons” so they can’t be pushed – ODD kids love to argue (my son says it “feels good” to be angry) and will grab every chance they can.

Learn how to be very, very consistent with rewards and consequences helps a huge amount. If need be write it all down, make charts or schedules and lists of rewards and consequences. In addition, try to keep clutter to a minimum so there are fewer distractions. In essence, create a “residential treatment center” at home.

And as @YARNLADY suggests, a support group can be a boon, whether online or in person.

Good luck!

@Darwin “loves to argue” could be a sign of a really good debater, or golden gloves boxer. Also, consider directed distruction, such as a bottle breaking session, followed by a gluing mosaic session.

@YARNLADY – Unfortunately both debating and boxing require hard work and adherence to certain rules, neither of which my son is willing to do.

He would only do the bottle breaking bit if he thought it bugged me, and he would never do the mosaics.

@Darwin he sounds like quite a challange, my best wishes and thoughts are with you

@YARNLADY He’s cute when he’s asleep. That may be the only reason he’s still alive.

Poor desperate lady! First of all, Everything I’ve learned about ODD I learned in the previous 10 minutes and Wow. Wow, I say! I wish you all the best in this, @hyperlilredhead. Please consult your child’s psychologist (rather than the psychiatrist) about the ideas I’m about to suggest as they are behavioral suggestions rather than chemical suggestions. I’m always curious about mental “disorders” and their treatment. I’m not sure if @Darwin‘s child has that same high IQ like your daughter does but if not then I think some of Darwin’s ideas could help your child even more than they’ve helped his: “be very, very consistent with rewards and consequences helps a huge amount.”

I have a theory that all humans act on the best information they are aware of in a given moment. It would mean that the reason this works with Darwin’s child is because the child realizes that reality seems always to work this way: punishment A for crime A and reward Q for good act Q… Because of his father’s consistency in allowing his child to experience this as “the real world” and as “irrefutable truth”.. the child learns after some time that he has no choice but to interact with his reality taking these things under advisement. His behavior follows.

Similarly, I suspect that your child will act however you want her to act as long as she herself believes that that way is best for her, all things considered.

My suggestion for your daughter, then, is that you find ways to help her understand why she must act a certain way. In Darwin’s case, time and consistency provided his son with evidence that some actions result in his pleasure while other actions do not. That became his answer as to “why” he must act a certain way. (It’s like putting your hand on a hot element.. you only do it once on purpose) With your daughter however, being as extraordinarily smart as she is, I would guess that you could get her to act however you wanted maybe even without a reliance on Punishment.. She may be ready for reasoned argument.

If she learns and is convinced that she can get exactly what she wants from the humans around her simply by doing some specific “magical enchantment” or another depending on her desire and if she learns and is convinced that she can’t get what she wants from humans by doing whatever she’s been doing so far.. then because she’s a human, my theory is that she will cease to act in the way that does not result in her happiness and she will begin to act according to the “magic tricks” she has come to learn that seem to work for her because All humans tend towards whatever makes the most sense to them.. as individuals in their individual experience.

Does she read? I would suggest books on dealing with human relationships. Books like “How to win friends and influence people” teach such magic tricks as I was referring to above. It’s a book that needs to be studied though. It’s a fun read but it is a learning tool, not just a one time read through. Lessons like that require inculcation no matter how smart you are. They take practice and re-reading to stay familiar with the ideas.

I would have to know more about how she misbehaves at school to give more specific suggestions. But I think there are ideas that a smart child can appreciate as to why some behavior is unacceptable and counter-productive.

Again, I wish you all the best in this. And I would love to learn more about such matters. Do let us know how things progress.

ODD = Teenager? xD

@NaturalMineralWater – Actually, in my experience Bipolar = teenager. Definitely Bipolar.