What are the consequences of supergluing a person's anus closed?

I would like to know how this question came up….

But I would assume it would make certain activites tough, you might die if your bladder burst… And there would probally be some tearing/other damaging of the skin around it causeing premenate damage the area when you had it unglued

Getting you ass kicked would be a consequence of even attempting at supergluing someone’s anus closed…

The person could die, but they’d likely request medical attention before then. Poop’s gotta go somewhere after all. Your intestines are only so big, I have no clue about their elasticity (and this is pure speculation, I should note) but I imagine the person would eventually be full enough (or moving around in pain from the pressure on the other organs) to cause them to tear and let poop into the body… Not a pretty thought.

@Deathcabforhottie One does not eliminate urine via the anus.

A super embarrassing conversation with the 911 operator and any ensuing rescue workers?

First off, how would someone go about this? I’m pretty sure I’d wake up from a sound sleep if someone even touched my butt…let alone try to put super glue on my anus.
I believe the consequences for the person trying to do it? They’d get a foot to the mouth.

I don’t think you want to find out, specially if you are the prepetrator…. I imagine the quarrel you’ll get in lol…

@Deathcabforhottie the bladder would not burst that is for urine. the small intestines or large intestines might go but you have like 5 feet of long intestine and 25 of small. But i would seek EMERGENCY medical help

Grab both cheeks and yank hard. It would hurt, but it is only a few layers of skin.

Who would think of doing this and better yet, why?

A possible consequence of straining at stool could also occur with a blocked anus – an anal fistula. The stool, with nowhere to go may burrow through tissue to get out. An opening would occur near the anus & the stool would escape. If you glued the anus & the fistula closed, a second fistula may form. In this case, when the crazy glue wore off, the person would have three assholes.

Believe it or not I have a friend (and no, it wasn’t me) from high school who put superglue over the opening of his penis (at least he swears he did). He told me that it didn’t completely close it up and that he peed in two streams. The next time he went he was peeing normally. I believe superglue is water soluble and that the urine just dissolved it. If you had your anus superglued shut (and what a great idea that would be!) I would either hop in a warm bath or get in the shower and let the nozzle spray away at my purple starfish. Of course if that wouldn’t work I’d drive to some obscure hospital in another town and let them figure it out.

If it so happened that the poop took advantage of a weak spot in the intestines, such as a diverticuli, the poop could burst out inside the body & a massive life-threatening infection would occur. So if your anus is glued shut & you’re feverish, go to the ER.

Crazy glue is not water soluble, @AstroChuck, it’s just the skin around it gets soft & more flexible when wet, so it tends to crack off, the penis being one of the more flexible areas of the body.

So that hot bath would help if you repeatedly contracted & released your anal sphincter under warm water, a risky action though, that would encourage a burst in the intestine or a burrowing of a fistula as well.

I believe this was an episode of Law & Order SVU perhaps?

I just can’t imagine anyone gluing his penis or his anus. Why don’t you get a paper route or suck your thumb or something productive?????

The person’s gonna get real mad.

@psyla- If it’s not water soluble then perhaps the uric acid’s what did the trick. Perhaps you could get someone to pee on your anus then.

Of course, when I say you, I dont mean you. I mean you in a general sense. That is unless you have something to tell me.

@ratboy
I don’t know, but how about expunging this thought from your head or removing yourself from the general population.

Incarceration.

Jail time on an assualt charge, as well as being sued for more money than you will earn in your entire life! When you go to jail, you will wish for superglue, compared to what is actually going to happen….

@brownlemur I am just now watching it on my DVR and saw this question….must be related. If not, we need to worry about ratboy!

Perhaps ratboy should be renamed scatboy.

@AstroChuck Best answer ever.

A really big emergency room bill and a place on the list of biggest idiots ever with that ER crew.

Probably rather serious in a number of ways…

SWEET. ANYWAY UM IM PRETY SURE YOU COULD GUESS THAT THEY COULDN’T SHIT. SO OTHER THAN THAT IT WOULD BE PRETY HARD TO WALK,AND NOT TO MENTION THE PAIN OF GETING IT UNSUPERGLUED,SCARS,AND IM PRETY SURE HE WOULN’T BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE,OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT IT WOULD BE FUNNY AS FUCK; NOT THAT GREAT OF AN IDEA:(

I do love this question. How is it that it’s only managed to garner four GQs?

I wonder if he ever gave it a try??????

Implosion? And massive pain, one would assume.

I can tell you this much… The alternative only works on South Park. So if you’re watching too much Jack-ass, I suggest you go for the big hand to the face instead.