Do I need to send a wedding gift if we hardly know the people and we decline the invitation?
Asked by
bentley (
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)
July 21st, 2009
My boyfriend of 10 years and I have been invited to a wedding. The bride is a second cousin of his who he has only met once. I have never met either the bride or groom. To be honest, we’re not sure why on earth we were invited. If we decline, would we still be expected to send a gift even though we don’t know these people at all??
I understand that gifts are a nice gesture and not expected at all…but in this case, I am really stumped.
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9 Answers
You are never obliged to give a gift, ever. If you do not attend the wedding, you are certainly not obliged to send a gift. In this case, I see nothing wrong with declining the invitation and sending your best wishes (but nothing else).
As for why you were invited, some people like weddings with tons of family and friends, so I would guess that is the case here. Many people still consider weddings as an opportunity for a family reunion.
A gift is just that, a gift. The minute you feel yourself obligated or expected to give something, it’s no longer a gift. If you don’t want to purchase something for the bride and groom, don’t. Whether you go to the ceremony or not is irrelevant.
No, you are not obliged to send a gift.
Most likely they don’t even care if you show up. Some mothers get crazy at wedding time and insist the couple invite everyone and anyone they’ve ever met. Don’t worry about it. You don’t need to send a gift or attend.
I was going to say just send a card – but then I could picture them opening it up and shaking the card and wondering where the check was! So forget it! Those greedy people…..
I always send a gift when I am invited to a wedding, even if I can’t make it and I am not that close with the couple. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. It can really be more of a token in the case that you are describing.
I certainly wouldn’t does that make me a bad person?
No. Consider a nice card. It sounds like the invitation may just be their way of fishing for a gift.
Or, it’s equally likely that your bf was invited at the request of his cousin’s mother or grandmother, etc. We went through several rounds with our families about who it was acceptable not to invite.
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