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clodoveo's avatar

Why do you, or do you not believe in love at first sight?

Asked by clodoveo (78 points ) July 24th, 2009

I don’t because I think that the concept of “love at first sight” underestimate what really love is.

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26 Answers

Phobia's avatar

I agree with you. Love at first sight is more like lust at first sight. Love goes so much deeper than what you can learn on just the first meeting/date.

1000oceans's avatar

i agree also. i mean you can love someones hair “looks good on you those curls…” but i feel love is also more deeper than what you get by first looks and the first impression

its more of a feeling, not necessarily something you see right off the bat

dynamicduo's avatar

I don’t, because I’ve looked into the science behind love, such as the different chemicals our brains trigger at certain times, and I can see very clearly that love is influenced significantly by these hormones. Plus I value love as being more than a superficial or instantaneous attraction.

Hambayuti's avatar

I used to when I was a young and foolish girl. But after having all those heartbreaks from guys I thought I had fallen in love at first sight with…I learned.
<—— Now, I just cover my eyes.

marinelife's avatar

I do not. I believe in attraction at first sight. I believe that sometimes, not often, attraction can blossom into love.

Sarcasm's avatar

Nope.
Until people start walking around with shirts that print out their exact personality, it’ll be nothing more than a guess.

EmpressPixie's avatar

I believe in infatuation at first sight. Or being smitten at first sight, but not full on love.

That, however, will not stop me from melting inside just a bit when my boyfriend recalls meeting me for the first time and sums it up with, “Really, it was love at first sight”.

Vincentt's avatar

I’m not sure I’ve even ever fallen in love, but I did found this story of a friend of mine remarkable. She had a boyfriend, then when she saw her current boyfriend, she claims it was love at first sight, for both of them, apparently. She walked right up to him and gave him a hug.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

In general I don’t though it did happen to me, once. It was not lust at first sight either but something that made me feel intoxicated and at peace. I spied a man in a dance club one night and something about his smile kept me looking so I walked to the top of some stairs and stood still to see what would happen. The man came up the stairs, stood beside me but didn’t face me and just said his name aloud, I took his hand and he went with me to meet the friends I’d arrived at the club with. We became one of those instant couples and spent the next 4yrs living wonderfully, lovingly and respectfully. He used to enjoy to tell the story to people about how he felt outside his body watching himself holding my hand and not having any idea where he was going except at that moment he had everything he wanted.

Resonantscythe's avatar

Lust, infatuation, extreme interest. Love? No. Love requires knowledge, understanding. You can’t have that in a single meeting unless you talk for a loong time.

DominicX's avatar

Yeah, I was going to say I believe in like at first sight. That’s what happened to me.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

Nope. I don’t believe it. If you think you’re honestly in love after only seeing someone, you’re wrong. That’s called being attracted to someone. Being interested in getting to know them. Lusting after them. But not LOVE. Much different.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I don’t believe in it, either. It devalues what love really is, in my opinion.

YARNLADY's avatar

See, it goes back to the fact that in the US, people use the same word for way too many different feelings. I fell in ‘love’ with each of my three husbands within minutes of meeting them, and visa versa. In each case, we married within weeks, and in each case is was ‘till death do us part”. My current Hubby and I have been married for 35 years, so far.

Leanne1986's avatar

@hungryhungryhortence After that night, did you ever see that man again? I have had a very similar experience in a club. I fell in love instantly with a guy and although I never saw him again I thought about hime for months. Then I really fell in love and it didn’t happen in the space of an evening, it took time. The feeling of love to me now feels so much different to how I felt in that club a few years ago which is why I don’t believe in love at first site. I won’t deny that there was a strong chemistry between me and the man I met in the club and MAYBE if we had kept in touch it could have turned into real love but, considering the love I feel now, I’m glad it didn’t.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@Leanne1986: we lived together for 4yrs and would have married.

JLeslie's avatar

I think you can have chemistry (not talking sex, but great attraction) with lots of people, real love is different.

Leanne1986's avatar

@hungryhungryhortence In that case, that’s a really nice story :)

Leanne1986's avatar

@hungryhungryhortence sorry, I’ve just reread your original post and I thought you said that you lived the next 4 hours (hrs) but that is actually more like my story! Thanks for sharing.

irocktheworld's avatar

I believe love in 1st sight because I’ve seen it before =]

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I feel that you can a strange feeling of connectedness, a spark of desire, passion and a feeling of coming home…it can all turn into love, but no, not love at first sight

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

I don’t believe in love at first sight, simply because the word ‘love’ is thrown around with too much irreverence for what it actually is. You cannot love someone until you know what they are like in ways that are not immediately obvious.

That said, I was very interested in my girlfriend from the moment we met. There was something in her smile the moment we were introduced that instantly made me think we had some sort of connection. That smile still gets me every time. Apparently my eyes did the same for her. It was not lust, that came a little later on, it was just an irrepressible desire to get to know her better and spend a lot of time with her.

From a morbidly boring scientific point of view, there are various chemical compatibility tests that we use to find potential partners, although these are only factors that modify probabilities rather than deterministic factors. The tests are evolutionary mechanisms to match compatible genetics and immune systems to help produce strong and healthy offspring. These chemical processes generally act fairly quickly, and may lead to an instant initial attraction whether or not the parties involved pursue a relationship.

ShanEnri's avatar

I have to agree with you, clodoveo! It doesn’t (can’t) encompass all of what love truly is!

sakura's avatar

I met my hubby in a smoky pub and although there was a bit of lustful thinking to begin with I defo think it was love at first sight, we clicked straight away and I knew I wanted to stay with him forever! We have been together 13 years this time and I still love him as much now if not more xxx

john65pennington's avatar

If you do not believe in love at first sight, then how do you explain this? my wife was a model for Bobbie Brooks clothes, back in 1964. she was a knockout. i was working as a copywriter for our local newspaper. went to lunch one day with a friend that worked where my wife worked. going down the escalator at her store, i spotted her. she was talking on the store phone. i grabbed my friend and said “lets go back, i have got to meet her”. i was introduced to her and the two trains hit each other head on. you know, the old black and white movie. we both just knew it. it was meant to be. we are still married after 44 years and she is “still the one”.

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