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Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

What do you think about donating your sperm/eggs or being a surrogate for others to have children?

Asked by Simone_De_Beauvoir (38873 points ) July 26th, 2009

Have you done it? Would you do it? Who would you do it for? Would you do it for the right price?

I know that a few same-sex female couples asked my partner for sperm and it’s something we’d consider doing. I don’t know if I’d give my eggs, as the process has side effects ( a couple of my friends have done it) but I might consider being a surrogate for someone.

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33 Answers

DrBill's avatar

Never have, but would, for anyone who needed it; for free. this type of thing should never be for profit

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@DrBill well the payments aren’t always for profit but for reasonable expense during pregnancy for example and for care

ragingloli's avatar

sperm is the new oil

DominicX's avatar

I think I would. Being gay, it’ll be harder for me to have a biological child, which may end up being something I would want, so I think it could be a good idea. It wouldn’t necessarily have to be for me, but that may end up being something I would want to do.

ragingloli's avatar

do you know how expensive horse sperm is?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ragingloli of all the things, I didn’t expect that answer. No. I do not know this information. How expensive is it?

casheroo's avatar

I used to really want to be a gestational surrogate, because I’ve always wanted to give that gift to someone.
Then I had my son and thought “no way!” because I was miserable while pregnant, painful recovery…I thought it’d be too hard to actually give the baby up even if it was not mine biologically.
Well, this pregnancy is going fabulous, and I was not expecting that. Yes, I am tired and sometimes nauseous, but otherwise I feel great. So, I may reconsider.

I do not want to be biologically tied to the child at all. This would be their baby. If it were a gay couple, I would want them to find a suitable egg donor. I would expect to be compensated for all medical bills plus some. I would do it through an agency or something, I don’t care if it’s a gay, straight or bi couple….if they want children and I feel a connection to them, then I would know it was right.
I don’t think I would do it until I’m done having my own children, so I see how my body reacts to that. We plan on having at least three (four if I can convince my husband!) I don’t care about the physical changes to my body, my body is already changing as I age. I’m just worried about the psychological effects. I know my husband would fully support me if I chose to do it, we both believe adoption is a wonderful thing.

ragingloli's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir
according to this
400 quid seems common,

Jude's avatar

My sister and her husband weren’t able to conceive. If she asked me to, I’d do it. For anyone else, no.

DarkScribe's avatar

Can I donate the old fashioned way?

That would have a distinct bearing on my response. ;)

(It might have distinct bearing on my wife’s reaction as well.)

SuperMouse's avatar

It was fairly easy for me to conceive and I was blessed incredibly easy pregnancies. I feel so fortunate to have three healthy children that if the chance came up to be a surrogate I would probably do it as a way of giving back and saying thank you. At this point though, I am too old to be an egg donor.

cwilbur's avatar

I have no interest in having children of my own, and would be rather suspicious of anyone who asked me personally to donate sperm.

JLeslie's avatar

I think it is a very personal decision, only you know how you feel about it. I have had fertility problems, but if I was able to have children, and had easy pregnancies, I would be willing to be a surrogate. I don’t think I would be comfortable donating eggs (even if was as easy as donating sperm) because I would feel odd knowing I have a bio-child out there. However, I think it is a wonderful thing to do.

fireinthepriory's avatar

I feel too strongly about adoption to do it. I feel this way about most fertility treatments, actually. There are so many kids in the world who need families, why go to so much expensive trouble to make more?

I would be willing to donate an egg and be a surrogate it if were for my brother or sister, and they really wanted kids biologically related to them. However considering we have three other sibs who’re adopted, I don’t think they’d think that way. I think that if they couldn’t conceive they wouldn’t event think to do any crazy fertility stuff, they’d just adopt. I know I would if I married a dude and we couldn’t conceive.

I would also consider asking my brother for sperm if I marry a woman who wants to have a kid that is biologically our own (well, ish, since it would be her egg and my brother’s sperm).

nikipedia's avatar

I’ve thought a lot about donating eggs. I believe pretty firmly that having the same DNA doesn’t make you family anymore than having different DNA stops you from being a family, so having some of my genes out in the world wouldn’t bother me. The financial incentives are pretty strong—that much money could make a significant difference in my life.

The biggest barriers to me are that (1) we have a lot of genetic diseases in my family (depression, cancer, heart disease) so I’m not sure anyone would want my eggs and (2) I’ve heard the hormone treatments are brutal. (Plus you can’t have sex for like, six weeks.)

casheroo's avatar

@nikipedia That’s another reason I don’t want to be biologically connected to the child, diseases run in my family as well…same as yours, and I doubt they’d be “acceptable” eggs. Also, I’ve read up on the procedure, and with all the hormones and needles, I doubt I’d even want sex the entire time lol

Sarcasm's avatar

I’d gladly donate my stuff.

But @fireinthepriory has a good point. There are a lot of kids out there who’d probably love to be adopted. Adoption or sperm donation, the kid is going to be completely unrelated to at least one of the legal parents, why not just save a kid from the adoption system while you’re at it?

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Never have but was willing to carry a child for an ex sister-in-law who couldn’t get pregnant because of complications from endometriosis. I would not donate eggs because of the drugs they give women to produce greater than normal numbers and have discouraged several family members from doing it as well- seems college campuses are rife with those offers to women.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

If I were in a place in my life where I could feasibly carry a child for someone, I would. And I would donate my egg any day to a couple that I knew personally and believed they would raise the child with love. Just hasn’t happened, but it could.

kheredia's avatar

My best friend is gay and this conversation has come up in the past. I think it would be something I would consider. He’s been my best friend for more than 10 years and I would probably be his only hope to having a biological child.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I am the product of a sperm donor so naturally I think it is a wonderful thing! I don’t know much about my bio-dad but apparently the nurses and orderlies told my mom he was a wonderful guy who donated sperm because his own wife had trouble conceiving.

@fireinthepriory and @Sarcasm: I understand where you’re coming from as far as adoption goes but as a child of sperm donation, I can tell you that it’s not always that simple for everyone. Also, while I can’t speak for anyone else, I have a certain security of self that I imagine many other people are lacking. My mother spent seven years and many thousands of dollars trying to conceive me and to know that your parent really wanted you that much it’s one of the most amazing feelings.

Nially_Bob's avatar

Although I wish to present some useful insights and telling details regarding the matter my sincere and simple answer is that surrogacy and egg/sperm donation are fine. If people wish to use or be surrogates that’s their business and I take no issue with it. I’ve been meaning to donate sperm for a while myself and would be happy for anyone to use it.

prude's avatar

I won’t ever be a surrogate, don’t care who it is for. I am done carrying humans in my body. I would be more than happy to donate my eggs, or if they felt a need to pay, I might consider that as well.

dynamicduo's avatar

I would love to sell my eggs to anyone who is interested. But donating, no. If it has a value to someone, I believe it’s fair to compensate me for the pain and time of going through the donation process.

medicalgeneralhicks's avatar

This is my Medical option on this subject. I would donate sperm so that other men and women can have one of the greatest gifts God ever gave us, Children . Thank of it this way, for most women it isn’t their fought that they can not bare kids. Why make them go Through life not knowing what it feels like or the joys of having a child. Also there are women out there that just can not seem to find “the right man” that they want to have a child with. Due to this little factor who are we to say just because they can not find a good and nice man to bare a child with that they can not have one. Last I would must rather see a women go to a sperm bank and get a child that way than to see her with a man that does not make her happy or is going to be mean and hurt the child.
Thank You
Scotty Hicks-RN

shf84's avatar

Probably not. My DNA is me and I’m not comfortable with having it used in that way. If they just wanted a section of code to create some characteristic or other I might not mind but to literally make a half clone of me and have it out there some where walking around really creeps me out big time makes me feel violated .

KatawaGrey's avatar

@medicalgeneralhicks: That is the exact reason I am here today. My biological father wanted to help someone have children and that someone happened to be my mother! :)

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

I would never donate my sperm, unless I had to do it and have my semen frozen for serious personal reasons——eg., if I was ill and knew my reproductive capability would be affected in the future and my wife still wanted another baby, or if I went to fight in a war and decided to freeze my sperm for posterity.

KatawaGrey's avatar

@MRSHINYSHOES: Just out of curiosity, why are you against donating your sperm?

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

@KatawaGrey I wouldn’t donate my semen to a whole bunch of strangers. Call me selfish, but I just don’t agree with a stranger raising my biological child. Knowing that a child out there who is my own flesh and blood, and who will never know me or share a loving relationship with me, just doesn’t jive with me. Sorry if I offend anyone, but that’s just how I feel.

KatawaGrey's avatar

@MRSHINYSHOES: I wasn’t trying to be critical, I was just honestly curious. As I would not exist without a sperm donor, I’m always interested in people’s reasons for donating or not donating.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

@KatawaGrey I know you weren’t being critical, and I appreciate your curiosity. The decision to donate sperm is an extremely personal one. It’s not like deciding to donate your blood. Besides, I’d feel rather “awkward” having to go into a lab/hospital and giving them my semen. ;)

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