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Deepness's avatar

Anyone here familiar with The Mystery Method?

Asked by Deepness (1125 points ) July 28th, 2009

I’m wondering if anyone here is familiar with The Mystery Method? Has anyone used it? How well does it work for you? Also, if there are women who are familiar with this, what your views are on this.

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14 Answers

Enlightr's avatar

Yep I’m familiar and I’ve used it.

It’s a very nice scientific approach to the whole ‘game’. But I’d say it’s more of a blueprint that is used for reference rather than set guidelines for success or failure with women.

For example – Mystery suggests the appropriate time for the period inbetween meeting a woman and having sex with her is 7 hours. You should see that as an idea of the appropriate time rather than fact.

But as a reference I’ve found it extremely useful and successful.

nebule's avatar

No I am not…but it sounds incredibly insidious at first glance of a google

thrice2k3's avatar

I’m familiar with it and have used it… but I find that it distracts me from my natural conversational skills. The push and pull theories are interesting and fascinating at how well they work… it’s worth taking a look at.

Deepness's avatar

@Enlightr I’ve never had a problem with the opposite sex. I have studied The Mystery Method and techniques from other teachers to polish up as I do see it as extremely beneficial. I feel it works. I was wondering what other’s who are familiar with it feel about it.

@lynneblundell There is a book by Neil Strauss about his experiences spending time with Mystery. It’s not a step-by-step guide. It’s just his experience. It’s a very entertaining book. My gf has read it because she found it in my belongings and says the method works. My gf is a model and yes, I did incorporate many of Mystery’s methods into attracting her.

nebule's avatar

do you feel it is genuine love or if not love…genuine attraction?

nikipedia's avatar

I am pretty sure I have had guys try to use this on me, and they came off as disingenuous and really fucking creepy. Specifically: they were terrible listeners, didn’t know when to take no for an answer, were obsessed with themselves, and were emotionally crippled.

But I’m not a model, so what do I know.

MissAnthrope's avatar

From reading, sounds like a load of bull that desperate guys will waste their money on.

Deepness's avatar

@lynneblundell Hard to say. The method is mainly making lots of personality tweaks and adjustments (self improvement) and then some psychology thrown in for helping anticipate/gauge the target’s reaction.

@nikipedia Well, it’s disingenuous if it’s repeated line for line and mechanically. Improv is key.

@AlenaD Your definition of desperate would probably be someone who doesn’t get laid. That’s cool, but the words “desperate guys” kind of means loser in the context that you used it. However, all men were not given great looks, personalities, and a sense of style conducive to attracting women. If they could make small changes within themselves that would give them a greater advantage at getting the girl of their dreams, would it be bad? Doesn’t everyone deserve love? The method is not about getting laid. Though, I’m sure many do use it for just that purpose. It’s about giving a man the tools necessary to help meet new women on their quest to finding the person that makes them happy. Don’t we spend most of our youth away doing this anyway?

MissAnthrope's avatar

I don’t even mean it that derogatorily.. in hindsight, I sort of regret the words I used. When I say “desperate”, it’s more like guys who have a hard time connecting with women in other ways, and who would be the ideal candidates for such “advice”. As a woman who likes dating quality women, I’m less inclined to believe quality women would fall for such schemes.

I am not overly hot, so it’s no judgement whatsoever. Certainly no judgement regarding looks or whatnot. Simply what I meant is that men who have trouble relating to women (say, in social contexts or not online, etc.) may see that sort of scheme as an easy out to meeting women.

Certainly everyone deserves love, and it makes me really happy when people can see beyond physical attributes to how awesome someone is.

filmfann's avatar

I know what it means, but I won’t share it yet.
Maybe in a while.

Deepness's avatar

@nikipedia The guys who approached you who you described as “fucking creepy” were not using this method. Don’t be so convicting without having full knowledge of the subject topic. Your specific peeves: the guys were terrible listeners, didn’t know when to take no for an answer, were obsessed with themselves”

These are the exact things the method teaches against. Believe it or not, the man or men you have selected to be around or in your life have used these methods without even knowing it. It came naturally to them. Some men have this. Others don’t. Is it wrong that they try to improve themselves? We all lack somewhere within ourselves. I don’t know how to swim. Is it wrong if I seek out a lifeguard to give me swimming lessons?

As far as guys being emotionally crippled. Well, we’re not all 100% perfect and we are our own worst critics. Thus making us all insecure about something or another in ourselves whether it be a physical flaw or emotional flaw. It’s still an insecurity equating to being emotionally crippled. Look within yourself and I’m sure you’ll find plenty of things you hate about yourself.

Your last line “But I’m not a model, so what do I know.” was a sarcastic stab at me for having a model for a girlfriend. The general stereotype of models as being dumb while you presented yourself as a know-it-all without being familiar with the subject topic.

nikipedia's avatar

@Deepness: Actually, I am familiar with the topic! I read The Game a few months ago and was, basically, disgusted.

It never instructs you to be a good listener. It gives you ways to feign interest in other people while making yourself look fascinating. This doesn’t work on all women. This works on women with low self-esteem who think they don’t deserve to be listened to.

The thing about Game is that it mixes up very good advice and very bad advice. Learning how to talk to strangers? Great. Learning how to manipulate women into bed? Very, very bad.

Good job at picking up on my sarcasm! Your reading comprehension skills get an A+.

Deepness's avatar

@nikipedia Thanks. I was actually spelling bee champ in my district when I was in the 7th grade. making myself look fascinating

Seriously though, if that’s how you feel about it. That’s cool. I did ask for people who are familiar for their views and you certainly qualify.

Plenty of men are terrified of approaching beautiful women. These are not women with low self esteem. These are women who get showered with adoration wherever they go. Guys would rather jump into a ring with a bull than be shot down by a female in a social setting. I’m glad you balanced your opinion by saying it mixes good advice with bad advice. It is good in that it gives those shy guys a way to approach tactfully when done wrong it is very creepy. It is bad in that it doesn’t condemn being a womanizer.

Haleth's avatar

@Deepness I’ve read The Game- I actually thought it was fictional until I saw Mystery’s show. I think the book does a much better job of introducing “game” in a sympathetic way, because Neil Strauss writes it as kind of a frustrated everydude who descends into this crazy world, then becomes a part of it. The show just makes Mystery look like an arrogant creep. (It doesn’t help that the dude from John and Kate plus Eight announced that he’s going to follow Mystery Method. Not an awesome endorsement.)

There are lots of other schools of thought about pick-up than just the Mystery Method- there’s actually a really big online community about this stuff. Some of the guys have major issues, like being misogynists or wanting to attract and discard as many women as possible to take out their past rejections on womankind. There are also people who have basically healthy and well-adjusted attitudes and just needed an impetus. I think it’s called the 3rd wave- basically, trying to improve your own life and attitude so that others naturally want to be around you, without using cheesy props or conversation gambits or whatever.

Anyway, I’m a girl. I think some aspects of game can be pretty insidious, but others aren’t bad, like the fact that it can teach guys better grooming and social skills.

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